Flood
by Penguin-sama
Summary: Sequel to Inferno. Third installment in the Bridges arc. Yaoi. Rating for strong language.
1. Distressed

Edited to fix some mistakes. All I can say is - it was seven am when I posted this. Thanks to everyone who helped for being so nice. I think I've fixed the mistakes now, but I could very easily be wrong...nevertheless, no more editing on this chap.

Here it is: the much anticipated first chapter of the final installment of the Bridges Arc. If you haven't read Bridges and Inferno, you might be lost reading this.

Now, I'm not trying to be rude, but I do have a few requests before I begin this. 1. Yohji will be back, but not for a while. Please don't pester me demanding to have him back. Things will happen when they're supposed to. 2. As promised, there will be a happy ending this time. That _doesn't_ mean this entire fic is going to be sunshine and rainbows. It will, however, be considerably lighter than Inferno was. 3. Spoilers will occasionally be posted in my LJ, but I will not give them out in reviews. Don't be offended if your questions don't get answered.

I'm really excited about this one; it's my favorite out of all of them. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is Yaoi. Strong language and eventual fun stuff to follow.

* * *

Night always seemed darker when it rained. 

The clouds that blocked out all trace of moon or stars seemed also to have the ability to make the bright fluorescent street lights seem dimmer.

Perhaps it wasn't the clouds at all. Perhaps it was just the street's personal atmosphere.

"A dark and stormy night."

Yes, the image appealed to him. Rain at night was the perfect disguise for all kinds of nefarious deeds. He'd had enough experience using it for that very thing to know.

Generous lips twisted into a wicked smile at the thought, but the young man only allowed himself the pleasure of entertaining those memories for a few moments.

He had enjoyed those days of darkness and blood. Everything inside him that had ever been hurt had reveled in the destruction and suffering. His ravaged and broken soul had loved knowing that it did not suffer alone.

But he wasn't _allowed_ to return to that life. The only reason he was even still alive was his agreement to "turn over a new leaf." The smallest hint of rebellion from him would be the end.

Everything had been so much more simple in the old days. He had followed orders because those orders led to delicious destruction and death. When the opportunity had arisen to strike at those who had employed him, he had leapt at the chance for such a dangerous challenge.

For a while, he had enjoyed being free of his employers and their micromanaging of his life. He'd enjoyed the freedom of making his own decisions, and had even separated himself from his former team despite the fact he had known very little about being on his own.

It had been a very big surprise indeed, then, when Weiss' Bombay had found him. Bombay and six other Krittiker operatives, all armed to the teeth. He had thought himself dead for sure until the younger assassin had made it clear that he had come to hire him, not kill him.

Krittiker had discovered Esset's schools and was planning a strike. If they succeeded, it would cripple the organization more than he had ever imagined possible.

It had been the most interesting thing to come along in a long while.

When it was all over, the only reason Bombay – Persia, now – had been willing to let him go had been a solemn vow that Krittiker would never see or hear from him again.

"If you _ever_ kill another person," Persia had told him, "My agents will have you dead within the hour. I'll be watching you, Schuldig."

The German man snorted softly to himself at the memory. A very large part of him rebelled at the threat; however, he believed that Krittiker had more than enough resources to take him out, and Esset – what remained of Esset – would not protect a traitor like him.

Schuldig told himself that he could always go back on his agreement if and when he grew bored of being free and safe.

And despite the occasional bouts of boredom and the long, nostalgic nights, Schuldig was enjoying his freedom. Never before in memory had his life not been governed by the all-consuming hand of his Esset masters.

Schuldig had been an assassin because that was what he had been trained to do, and because he had enjoyed it. It had never been about money. He liked to buy expensive clothing, and lots of it, but even then he had still earned more than he could spend.

So even if he was bored now, at least he was comfortable.

And as long as he was subtle about it, and didn't kill anyone, there was no reason he couldn't have a little fun every once in a while.

Which was why the flame haired German had gotten into the habit of walking dangerous streets after nightfall.

His smirk grew and he took the time to stop and light a cigarette as he heard the sounds of a scuffle coming from the blind alley up ahead.

The area he had chosen for this night was a particularly bad one. Bars and dingy clubs lined both sides with light and blaring noise. Arrests were made every night.

Schuldig took the time to finish his cigarette, the sounds of the scuffle like music to his ears.

A quick mental search assured him that there were no Krittiker agents nearby. They were rarely around anymore. A few months of being a good boy and the eyes that watched him had slowly begun to disappear. Still, it was always better not to take any chances.

Drawing his gun, Schuldig stepped into the alley, forming his plans in his mind as he scanned the sight of violence.

It was a large group ganged up against one individual. They were drunk and horny and had their victim pinned to the ground as the ringleader straddled his hips, taunting him with a knife. By the remains of the clothing on the victim's body, he was an employee at one of the nearby clubs.

The telepath gave himself a moment to decide what to do. He didn't care about helping or doing good deeds; he was just bored.

Watching what the group of drunkards had planned could be entertaining, and if their creativity failed to impress, their fuddled minds would be so very easy to influence.

But then again, men so foolish and drunk would be just as much fun to frighten as to manipulate.

He didn't have the time to make a decision. While he watched, the victim managed to free one arm and send the heel of his palm crashing upwards into the nose of the man who sat on his hips.

As the man reeled back, crying out, the victim managed to wrestle the knife from his hand, swinging his arm to lash at the other men.

When they saw that their greater number was not going to make their sport any easier, a few began to back off.

At the sight of the foreign man with a gun watching them from the mouth of the alley, the rest of the men lost their courage.

The victim managed to gain his feet as the last of them fled, but he only managed two steps before he stumbled.

The victim's fight had impressed him, but Schuldig wasn't as entertained as he'd hoped he would be. Somehow, the other man's defiant display made him feel a flash of shame.

He caught sight of the victim's face, and all thought flew from his mind.

It was now clear that the tight clothing the thugs' chosen victim had been wearing had been cut from his body. In places, his skin had been cut as well. A few slashes were deep enough to have caused enough blood loss to make the small man so unstable.

Using the wall for support, the almost-victim managed to pull himself to his feet. He wildly swung the knife still gripped tightly in his hand at Schuldig as the telepath began to walk toward him.

Schuldig avoided the blow easily and managed to invade the small man's personal space, catching tight hold of his arms.

The victim looked at him with eyes that had lost all sensibilities other than fury. There was no recognition in those eyes – he was too far gone.

There was nothing but murder in those eyes. This was a man who would do whatever it took to survive, even if he didn't understand why he continued to do so. Even weakened by blood loss, the small man was plotting his own survival.

"I won't hurt you, _meine veilchen._"

A flash of recognition finally filled those lovely eyes at the sound of the flame haired man's voice. He could literally watch the calculation run through the other man's eyes as he attempted to discern the wisdom of continuing to fight, as well as the chance of success if he did so.

Then those beautiful eyes slid to the back of his head and the small man slumped – though whether the surrender was due to blood loss or some insane sense of trust, Schuldig didn't take the time to consider.

He couldn't remember ever being so close to one of the men of Weiss before – not when he wasn't trying to hurt someone, anyway.

Up close he could see just how pale and smooth his former enemy's skin was, how dark in contrast the thick lashes that fluttered against white cheeks. His face was that of a sleeping angel, his lips perfectly formed.

The body slumped in his arms seemed so very small and fragile, despite the strength he knew it had to hold.

Despite himself, Schuldig reached to brush fine, silky strands of hair out of the former Weiss' face.

He made his decision.

He had never expected to see one of the Weiss again, save, perhaps, Persia. He certainly never expected to be so close to one – while the Weiss was alive, anyway. It would be interesting to see what the man could be like under…other circumstances.

The man was so very strong, so deserving of respect.

So…_interesting_.

Decision made, Schuldig lifted the redhead into his arms.

* * *

He opened his eyes slowly, wincing at the bright sunlight, and tried to throw an arm up to cover his eyes. 

He was halted in his movements by a stab of pain.

"Did you know you scrunch up your nose right before you wake?"

Eyes shooting open the rest of the way, Aya Fujimiya tried to sit up, only to find himself restrained by a pair of strong hands on his shoulders.

There was a movement, a shifting of the mattress, and suddenly there was a body sitting on his hips.

A face filled his vision, jade green eyes and an impudent smirk. Fiery red hair fell down around him in a thick curtain.

"_Schuldig_!" he spat.

The hands on his shoulders tightened their grip as the smirk on those generous lips grew.

"Don't struggle, V_eilchen,_" the German purred wickedly. "I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself after I went to all the trouble of stitching you up."

"You - ?"

"Don't waste my time with useless questions!" the man ordered petulantly, drawing back a little. "The only reason I brought you home was because I hoped you would prove interesting for a little while. So far I'm afraid to say that you've been terribly disappointing."

"Mastermind…"

Fingers massaged Aya's shoulders as a slow smirk spread across the telepath's sharply-featured face.

"You had better start to be more amusing soon, or I will find some…_other_ means to entertain myself."

"Touch me and I'll fucking kill you."

Chuckling darkly, the flame haired man leaned in closer and Aya wrenched away. He felt lips graze his cheek.

"I'm only trying to be friendly," the German murmured, letting his full weight rest atop Aya. "If I was going to press my advantage, we _wouldn't_ be talking right now."

"Then get. The hell. Off me."

"Can't."

"Why the _fuck_ not?"

Schuldig pulled back with a small, ironic smile.

"I have a problem with foresight."

Aya glared, uncomprehending, and the German laughed.

"I realize that it is time to leave you alone, V_eilchen_; however, I also realize that the moment I do so, you will attempt to do me bodily harm."

Aya's glare intensified and the telepath laughed again, throwing his head back. Fiery hair spilled down his back and Aya found himself staring at the long, exposed column of his neck and imagining a blade cutting into that perfect jugular.

"Even now you're thinking about my blood!" the man chuckled, eyes gleaming with amusement. "And as much as I really dislike the idea of dying, neither do I enjoy the idea of you injuring yourself after I went to all the trouble of patching you up."

"You can't sit on me forever."

"No, of course not," the German agreed. "In a moment, you're going to go back to sleep. Then I'll get up. Eh…don't be surprised if you're tied to the bed when you next wake. If I were to die, I would certainly want my reaper to be as pretty as you; however, I'm not ready to die yet."

He felt it, the careful, delicate intrusion into his mind, the slight, subtle pressure urging him into sleep.

Aya began to fight, bucking and struggling, cursing violently. Schuldig's hands closed tightly around his wrists, pinning him securely to the bed.

"You're going to hurt yourself!" the flame haired man warned through gritted teeth.

Aya could feel his muscles straining, wounds reopening, but he fought anyway. Finally he succeeded in knocking Schuildig off.

He scrambled up and was halfway to the door when something hit him.

Aya fell to the ground, Schuldig riding him.

"You are one _stubborn_ son of a bitch!" the German panted, head on Aya's shoulder blade. "Can't you see that I'm trying to _help_ you?"

"_Bastard_!" Aya cried.

He had no physical strength left to fight when he felt the telepath's presence enter his mind once more. Stubbornly, Aya closed his mind as tightly as he could.

"Cute, V_eilchen_," Schuldig chuckled, breaking easily through the barrier.

The darkness encased Aya's mind.

* * *

Aya groaned as consciousness slowly returned to him. His limbs were heavy, his injuries a mass of burning pain all over his body. 

That pain didn't begin to compare, however, with the pounding in his head.

"You are one vicious kitty, V_eilchen_," a weary voice said from a corner of the room. "I almost did permanent damage putting you under."

"Still claim to be helping me?" Aya demanded coldly, voice a rasp.

"Of course."

Aya tried to move, only to find his arms and legs bound to the bed.

He wasn't really surprised.

"Bastard."

"Can you blame me?" the German asked cheerfully. "I did warn you, after all. Fair is fair."

Aya glared furiously as the telepath approached.

"Sit on me again and I vow to find some way to kill you."

Schuldig held up his hands in a pacifying gesture, shrugging lightly.

"Fine. Play hard to get."

Aya began to growl and the flame haired man laughed. Schuldig sat down on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on the other redhead's knee. Aya jerked, but couldn't get away.

"I'm sorry I had to hurt you, V_eilchen_. Surely you can concede that this is a difficult situation we find ourselves in."

"Get. Your hand. Off me."

"I really am trying to help you. You know I had to put twenty more stitches in you after that stunt you pulled?"

Aya glared, refusing to comment.

Schuldig sighed.

"What were you doing in that area of town, anyway?" the German asked.

"Work." Aya answered grudgingly.

"A mark?"

"No."

Schuldig stared at him. Slowly the bastard's lips began to twitch.

"_Mein Gott._ That uniform! Please don't tell me you actually work at the club!"

"Shut the hell up!" he snarled.

"The great leader of Weiss, working in a place like _that_? For real? Dancing?"

"I don't dance, you bastard, I tend the bar!" Despite himself, Aya felt his face inflame.

The German laughed, sliding his hand slowly up Aya's thigh.

"I'm glad I brought you home with me, _veilchen_ kitty," he said warmly. "You're so entertaining!"

"Get your hand off me, you _fucking_ bastard!"

Schuldig only laughed harder.

* * *

To be Continued 

I have a confession. Schu took over and wrote most of this chapter. Naughty German.

Because of the quick updates, I haven't been able to finish all the review response. Please don't get upset at me; I've decided not to write responses for the last two chapters of Inferno (there isn't all that much to say anyway.) Since I know you'll all be reviewing this (hint hint) then we'll talk then, okay? Love you all.

Kit


	2. A Discussion

"Tell me where you live."

Aya sighed to himself in supreme irritation. He was almost _used_ to waking up to find Schuldig in the room with him now.

"I'm not telling you shit."

He heard the chair in the corner creak, and was almost amused. After three days, he was growing accustomed to the routine. He would wake in the mornings to find the evil telepath watching him. Then said telepath would come to the bed and annoy him for a while.

Today the flame haired man laid down, stretching out beside him in the bed.

The man was certainly irritating but…

There was no escaping the disconcerting fact that, though he teased and taunted and had tied Aya up, Schuldig had yet to do anything truly, unforgivably inappropriate. A touch on the leg or arm was nothing compared to what he _could_ do to the helpless redhead.

Schuldig stared at him for a long time after laying down beside him, one hand casually resting on Aya's knee.

"So," he drawled at last. "How violent do you intend to become when I untie you?"

Aya blinked

"What?"

"I considered giving you a sponge bath," the wicked redhead grinned, "But you really need to get out of this bed so your muscles won't weaken. So? Will you behave yourself if I let you up, kitty?"

Aya actually gave the question some serious thought. It had been a long time since the two of them had been enemies. In fact, the last time they had seen each other, they had fought under similar goals.

And Schuldig was irritating, but, in his own twisted way, had done nothing truly wrong. He had probably even saved Aya's life.

"Untie me." the former swordsman ordered.

Schuldig smiled.

"Good boy." he murmured quietly. His hand slid up to rest on Aya's flat, muscled belly, fingertips lightly resting against his navel. "First tell me where you live."

Aya shut his eyes tightly, ignoring the strange sensation of the telepath's hand.

"Why should I?" he demanded.

He jumped, eyes snapping open, at the feel of lips against his neck.

"_Stop that_!"

Schuldig drew back, smirking at him. "Your clothes were ruined in the attack!" he stated, eyes growing large in a horrible parody of innocence. "I just need to go to your home to retrieve more clothing, since we've decided to let you out of the bed."

"No. I won't tell you."

"I'm being nice, _veilchen_. I could just take the information from your mind." His fingers traced lightly up Aya's bare chest.

Despite himself, the former swordsman shivered.

"I won't tell you."

"Even if it means not being allowed to get up, after all?"

Aya refused to answer.

Schuldig cocked his head to the side, staring at him. Slowly, the man began to smile.

"All right," he ceded at last. "You win. I'll find an…alternative."

* * *

The hot, pounding water stung the wounds on his body, but it felt so good to finally be clean after three days of laying in that bed.

He tensed when he heard the door open, expecting the curtain to be pulled back at any moment.

Schuldig's laugh drifted mockingly over the sounds of the shower and Aya knew that his mind had been read.

"Your virtue is safe for now, _veilchen_!" he called teasingly. "I'm only bringing you some clothing. I'll be in the kitchen; come and find me when you're finished."

He heard the door open and close, but didn't believe the telepath had left until he checked for himself, finding a neatly folded pile of clothes on the back of the toilet but no other sign of an evil telepath.

Nevertheless, the former assassin could no longer feel at ease, no longer enjoy his shower. He finished quickly and dressed, finding that the garments he'd been given fit him almost perfectly. He and Schuldig were closer in size than he had ever realized.

Aya towel-dried his hair quickly, and set to exploring his prison.

It was a house. Small, but well-decorated. Two bedrooms, one and a half bath. A living room and a small study.

The kitchen was in the back of the house, and was easily the largest room.

Schuldig seemed to be busy with something as he walked in, and Aya was genuinely surprised to find that the sadistic, evil man was…baking.

Warily, Aya entered the large, open room and took a seat at a barstool in front of the island cabinets. A large butcher knife lay naked on the counter before him, and Aya found himself staring at its gleaming blade.

Schuldig at last realized his presence and turned to face him. Despite his best efforts, Aya felt his lips twitch at the sight of the frilly apron the man wore.

The telepath caught the look and promptly stuck out his lower lip.

"Not a word. I didn't want to get flower on my designer jeans."

There was something playful about him – an almost childish innocence that belied the soulless killer hiding behind that ruffled apron and wild spill of fiery hair.

That teasing innocence vanished the moment Schuldig noticed the way the knife drew Aya's eyes. In an instant, he was the terrifying, unpredictable man Aya remembered. The smile that had been on his face became a smirk. Those bright, mirthful eyes became cunning and dangerous.

Slowly the German crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter.

"Go ahead and try it," he offered in a quiet, perilous purr. "We'll see how you do."

Aya reached for the knife.

Taking a deep breath, Aya slid the knife into the butcher's block that held its fellows.

He forced himself to meet Schuldig's eyes.

"Why did you help me?"

"I need a reason?"

"You? You don't do anything unless it's going to be of some benefit."

His lips twitched.

"You think you know me so well, _veilchen_?"

"I want to leave."

"The door isn't locked."

"I don't know where the hell I am."

A light shrug.

"Not my problem."

"Why did you help me?" he asked again.

Another shrug.

"You're interesting, kitty," he answered. "Since the day we met I've wanted the opportunity to know you."

"So why not just take the memories from my mind and be done with it?"

"Ah. It's…different."

Something flashed in his eyes, and suddenly, Aya knew.

Schuldig had rescued him because he was _lonesome_. It was suddenly so very obvious! The small, empty house, the way he had been so persistent in his teasing. The fact that he had been there every time he had awoken.

Schuldig was a man who had thrived on attention and chaos but was now forced to exist without either.

In that moment, Aya understood the man better than he had ever thought possible.

"I'm glad you survived, Mastermind." Aya said at last, watching as the other man shifted, awkwardly avoiding his gaze. "I don't know why. It's insane to be glad you aren't dead. But I guess I am."

"Schwarz and Weiss, we all shared something." Schuldig said quietly. "The destruction of the elders alone was sufficient to forge a connection, but what happened afterwards…with the schools…"

"Did your team make it?"

"More or less. Yours?"

Aya closed his eyes.

"Ken is fine. And Omi is…living. But Sena and Yoh…" his voice caught in his throat. How long had it been since he had said that name out loud? Since he had even allowed himself the luxury of caressing it in his mind? "Sena and Kudoh both lost their lives that day."

"You cared greatly for your team. You were a good leader."

"I was a foolish leader. My mission was more important than my team."

"I don't believe that."

Aya fell silent, mind filled with the memory of emerald eyes filled with love and pain and hope as he held his lover's broken body close and promised him that they would survive even as the building crumbled around them. Even as he doubted whether or not he was strong enough to get them out.

The ache that always filled his chest intensified into a violent throb. The ache of loss hadn't lessened, even after a year and a half.

A part of him was still so angry. At Yohji, for not fighting for his life. At Omi for bringing the blonde back into Weiss.

At himself, for being so stupid.

"I'm sorry to hear about Balinese." Schuldig said at last, quietly. "I liked him."

Aya looked up and was surprised to see sincerity in the telepath's eyes.

Standing there in that ridiculous apron, with his eyes filled with something like that, Aya couldn't help but to think that Schuldig had never before seemed so human.

"He was a good man." Aya heard himself say. He felt tears on his cheek, but was helpless to stop them. A year and a half, and this was the first time he'd allowed himself to cry since Mamoru Taketori had told him of the man's death. "A person like me never deserved to know him."

"You…loved him?"

"Didn't think I was capable of it?" he demanded.

"I don't know you, Abyssinian. I wouldn't know if you could love him or not."

Aya swiped a hand over his eyes, closing his emotions away. Turning them off like a light switch.

"This is none of your business."

"That's why I'm the one you should talk to." Schuldig answered seriously. "I can't judge _because_ I don't know you."

"You pick _now_ to be mature?"

"You don't know me, either."

Aya stormed from the room.

* * *

The next day, Aya told Schuldig where he lived and the telepath took him home.

The flame haired man frowned at the sight of the dingy apartment complex, but was wise enough not to say anything. Aya could feel the man's eyes on him as he got out of the car, and knew that the other man hadn't wanted to take him home.

He wasn't really surprised when, a few days later, he found the flame haired man at his door.

"Want to go do something?"

The telepath was dressed in a baseball jersey and tight-fitting jeans, that spill of wild, fiery hair somehow contained in a high ponytail.

Aya glared.

"No."

"Oh come now, _veilchen_! I'm _bored_!"

The former swordsman had been turning to go back into the apartment. He turned back now with a glare fierce enough to make the playful sadist take an involuntary step back.

"Your boredom isn't any concern of mine." Aya stated coldly. "I am _not_ your friend, Schuldig. And I don't want to be. Go. Away."

Instead, the German only followed him into the apartment, flopping down on the couch as if it belonged to him. Aya glared as the man propped his feet up on the coffee table.

"Why are you here?" the smaller redhead demanded at last.

"Your sunny personality? The witty banter? _Veilchen_, I'm _bored_!"

"Don't you have small children to terrorize?"

Schuldig gave a sarcastic laugh.

"Vicious, kitty!"

"I want you to leave. Now."

Schuldig sighed, looking around appraisingly at his surroundings.

"What a dump!" he sighed at last. "Please don't tell me that _this_ is it. Somehow, I thought you'd have at least enough blood money left to be comfortable."

"Tell me how this is any of your business."

"I'm concerned for your well-being?"

Aya snorted and Schuldig threw back his head and laughed.

"All right. _Perhaps_ that is not a believable excuse."

"Perhaps not."

"Would you believe that I'm offended anyone would endure living in a place like this?"

"_That_ I belive."

"Especially someone I respect as much as you."

"Don't push it."

"I mean it." Schuldig met his gaze, jade eyes more sincere than Aya would have thought possible for the cocky bastard. "I told you, Abyssinian – you were a good leader. Even from the point of view of your enemy I could tell that you cared about your team.

"Mention them again, and I'll fucking kill you." Aya promised, closing his eyes.

Silence passed for a few long moments. Reluctantly, Aya opened his eyes. He was shocked to find Schuldig looking at him with compassion.

"Stop that!" he snarled. "Get out!"

"You can't be so solitary, _veilchen_. It isn't good for you."

"I don't want to be friends."

"Fine; we don't have to be friends. But that doesn't mean that we can't be acquaintances. You're wallowing in misery, and I'm bored. So…"

"_No_."

"You'll be seeing a lot more of me!" he smirked cheekily.

Aya snarled.

* * *

To Be Continued

I'm looking for pictures. Official or fanart, it doesn't matter. It just needs to include Aya, Yohji, and Schu – and because I share a computer, it needs to be work safe. If anyone has anything in their collection that they would be willing to share with me, or knows of a good work safe webpage, please let me know.

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**sword**- I guess my dicctionary was wrong. Anyway, thanks so much for the help, and thanks even more for the review! Your English isn't bad at all!

**CaT70** - Yes, yes, it's more fun when I get to surprise everyone with the storyline. So glad you like Schu!

**GuiltyAmethyst** - thankies!

**Moon without a Sun** - you want to know a secret? I was writing chapter 16 or 17 the other day and there was a heck of a lot of fluff flying. The squee will be back.

Thanks Everyone!


	3. Schu's Plan

Sorry this took so long. Unfortunately, there's really not all that much I can say. The fall term has begun and I'm expecting a heavy workload and a _lot_ of writing. (15 hours of literature, editing, and writing classes. What the hell was I thinking?)

If the workload is as bad as I'm expecting, there's not really all that much I can say. I promise to try to update at least twice a month though. Sorry. Stories will still be coming, just more slowly. If the workload is managable, then I'll try to return to the weekly updates. Most likley, the number of new chapters and the speed with which they come out will vary.

If I didn't respond to your review for last chapter, please don't get offended. I was afraid that I had taken so long with the responses that you wouldn't remember what I was talking about, so...yeah.

Oh. And the editing page has decided to be a bitch and won't let me add in the chapter divider lines. Sorry.

(Z)

A week later.

Somehow Schuldig had managed to squirm his way into every single day that week. When Aya refused to open the door for him, he broke in. When he refused to take his calls, the bastard sat on the fire escape outside the window and _sang_.

Aya reluctantly had to accept that the man had decided to insinuate himself into his life.

This day he had decided to go shopping and hadn't managed to leave before the irritating telepath showed up so Aya had been forced to take him with him.

Schuldig, he had found, was vibrant and wicked and there was something addictive about his laugh. Try as he might to discourage his presence, Aya was reluctantly beginning to enjoy having someone he could talk to again.

Sometimes Schuldig reminded him of Yohji, and that was truly painful. He was different enough that Aya didn't usually see the similarities, but close enough that Aya found he couldn't put full effort into pushing him away.

Today the telepath had dressed himself in some expensive looking slacks and a silk button down with only two of the buttons clasped. He had left his hair down in a fiery mane.

Somehow the effect made him appear very high-fashion – as if he was a celebrity out on an outing. His large, dark sunglasses only served to enhance the effect.

Beside the beautiful, vibrant man, Aya felt very small, dark, and drab – and that suited him just fine.

"You didn't have anything better to do than help me pick out milk and laundry detergent?" he demanded coldly as he reached for a shopping cart.

Schuldig's hands closed around both of Aya's. The former swordsman could feel his companion's body pressed against his back in a long line, could smell his expensive cologne as he leaned closer. His lips brushed Aya's ear.

"I can think of nothing more enjoyable than sharing in your sweet company." he whispered.

"Get. Off."

Laughing, Schuldig danced away from him.

"Vicious, vicious kitty!" he chuckled. "But I'll have you purring before long."

Aya glared, which only made Schuldig laugh all the harder.

"If I agree to sit in the buggy and be a good boy, will you buy me a lollypop?"

"Stop it." Aya ordered, pushing the shopping cart into the main part of the store.

Schuldig followed, walking almost too closely to his side.

The telepath reached, sliding the shopping list from Aya's back pocket and scrutinizing it critically.

"We should go _this_ way!" he decided, grabbing hold of the cart and jerking it out of the path Aya had chosen.

Aya closed his eyes and forced himself to take a calming breath.

"I always go to the breads first," he explained with as much patience as he could muster.

"Trust me; my way is better." Schuldig smiled at him, warm and friendly, as he put an arm around the slightly smaller man's waist.

Aya allowed it, only because he knew by now that if he yelled and demanded to be released, the bastard would only do something more objectionable. Schuldig was much easier to deal with when he got his way.

When the reached the shampoo aisle, Schuldig stopped them abruptly. Aya froze as the other man suddenly pulled him into a hug, nuzzling his hair.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" he hissed.

"Hush now, _Veilchen_, I'm trying to concentrate."

Aya tried to struggle but the other man only tightened his arms. Schuldig was close enough to him in size that it was easy for him to prevent receiving a sharp blow to the ribs.

But Schuldig only held him for a moment longer before abruptly releasing him. Aya took a swing at him, but the bastard was already out of reach.

With a large, mocking smile, the telepath plucked Aya's brand of shampoo off the shelf and held it out to him like a trophy.

"I recognized it by scent alone!" he announced proudly.

"Bastard." Aya glared, snatching the bottle from him and tossing it into the cart.

Schuldig laughed, playful and joyous. As if he was having the time of his life.

It was a real struggle not to respond to that smile.

"What are you doing?" Aya hissed instead.

Schuldig's smile grew.

"Pursuing you, _Veilchen_." he answered. "Feel wooed yet?"

(Z)

"It's not going to work, Schuldig."

The German grinned cheekily at the man sitting before him at the table, glad that he had been able to convince the lovely redhead to stop for lunch before going home. The very fact that Aya hadn't been able to let the issue of Schuldig's revelation drop gave the flame haired man immeasurable hope.

Aya was beautiful by anyone's standards. Delicate and pale, with those startling eyes…he was a work of art. His crimson hair had grown out a little so that it just barely brushed his shoulders, and the cut was in a slightly shaggy state of neglect that flattered the small man beautifully. Today Aya had dressed himself in a pair of jeans and an overlarge sweatshirt that Schuldig suspected had belonged to Kudoh.

Aya was beautiful. Desirable. Perfect.

And when he was near him, Schuldig was no longer lost.

"It's a simple concept, _Veilchen_. What's so difficult to understand? I want you, so I'm going to do everything I possible can to get you." Smile growing, he reached across the table.

Aya quickly pulled his hand out of reach, and Schuldig laughed.

"I find you addictive, kitty! Is that so wrong?"

"It won't work."

Schuldig tossed his head proudly.

"You don't find me attractive?"

Aya glared – confirmation enough, in Schuldig's opinion.

"It just isn't possible, all right?" the smaller redhead sighed at last, looking away as he realized that his infamous glare was having no effect. "I can't – no, I _won't_ be interested."

"We'll see." the wicked telepath singsonged, reaching for his drink. "Anyway, I'm going to move so slowly that you won't even realize that it's happening. Worrying would be pointless – you're simply going to wake up one day and realize that you've fallen desperately in love with me…and by the time that happens, you won't care about fighting anymore because I'm going to make you so blindingly happy that nothing else will matter."

He allowed silence to fall between them as he gave Aya a saucy wink and turned his attention back to his food. He would give the other man the time to get used to the idea, but he wasn't about to give up on the plan. The idea was in his head now, and there was simply no getting rid of it.

"Thank you, Schuldig." Aya said at last.

He looked up, surprised.

"What?"

Aya was staring at his plate, refusing to look at him.

"I haven't smiled since Yohji died. I haven't laughed. I haven't had a single moment of happiness…if Yohji's been watching over me, then I bet he's furious. I know that mourning like this isn't what he would have wanted."

"If you think that you can get rid of me by taking the challenge out of this, you've got another thing coming." Schuldig warned with mock severity.

Aya merely nodded.

A few moments of silence passed.

"I find it very difficult to believe that you squandered away all of the money you made as an assassin." Schuldig said at last, sensing that it was time to change the subject.

"I didn't." Aya answered.

"Then where did it all go?"

"Hospital bills when my sister was…ill." Aya grimaced. "It's all in the bank now. I was going to use it to pay for her college, but she grew suspicious and wanted to know where I'd gotten it. Aya-chan refused to take the money unless I answered her…and we haven't spoken since."

Schuldig made a tsking noise.

"They're much more difficult to control when they're conscious, aren't they?"

"Shut up." Aya glared.

Chuckling, Schuldig gave the slightly smaller man his most sincere smile. This time he managed to cover one of Aya's hands with his own when he reached across the table. He grasped it tightly to keep him from pulling away.

"Learn to take a joke, Veilchen."

"We don't joke about her."

"Your devotion is as charming as it is annoying," he sighed. He slid his thumb across the back of Aya's hand, tightening his hold as the smaller man tried to jerk away.

"So, let me guess." Schuldig mused. "Your sister rejected your money but you can't bring yourself to spend it on yourself. Am I right so far?"

Aya only glared.

"Now, if I use what I've learned about you over the years and what I've…personally observed…"

Aya growled a little at the thought of Schuldig invading his mind, and the telepath could only shrug.

"…I would think it safe to assume that you're working at that club and living in that horrible dump as a kind of penance for…"

The glare became dangerous.

"Don't. Say. It."

Schuldig fell silent, smiling gently. He would never tell his companion that he didn't need his telepathy to tell him that the man before him hated himself for the sins of his past.

"I can't stand the thought of you living in that place, _Veilchen_," he said at last. "I would feel much better if you - !"

"No."

Schuldig laughed.

"Don't be so stubborn, kitty!"

"Bad enough that you're trying to 'woo' me. I'm not going to move in with you and make it easier for you."

"You gave me permission to woo you!" Schuldig pouted.

Another glare.

"Look," Schuldig soothed. "This has nothing to do with me chasing after your ass, and everything to do with that horrible shit-hole you call a home. I have two bedrooms, and if I get to see you every day, then I'll be less likely to embarrass you in public as I try to keep myself entertained. You can even pay me rent out of your blood money – and surely living with me would satisfy your need to punish yourself, wouldn't it?"

The glare intensified.

"Great!" Schuldig cheered. "You'll think about it!"

"I _never_ said that!"

"But you _will_ think about it, won't you?" Schuldig asked, fluttering his eyelashes.

Aya only snarled.

(Z)

It was exactly a week to the day later when Aya returned home from work to find every last thing in his apartment gone.

His initial thought was that he had been robbed.

But the average thief would never be so careful as to take literally _everything_ he owned.

And only a very stupid thief would leave cigarette butts all over the floor.

He found Schuldig in the bedroom, lying on the floor in the exact spot the bed had been. He had his arms tucked casually behind his head, and his legs crossed at the ankles.

"Where's my stuff?" Aya demanded.

"My house."

"I haven't agreed to move in with you."

A small shrug. Schuldig continued to stare at the ceiling as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world.

"I got bored today, so I decided to move your stuff," the telepath said at last. "I thought it would make your decision easier if…hell. I just got bored, _Veilchen!_"

"Schuldig…"

"Come and lay beside me."

"No."

Schuldig didn't respond to his refusal. Silence reigned for a few long moments.

With an irritated sigh, Aya crossed the room to lay down next to Schuldig.

"Good day at work?" Schuldig asked casually.

"Work is rarely an enjoyable experience. You would know that if you'd ever had a real job."

"Killing isn't a real job?"

"Even if it is, you're sadistic enough to enjoy it, so it doesn't count."

Schuldig laughed. "You may be right."

Silence passed.

"Schuldig?" Aya asked at last.

"Yes, kitty?"

"You need to find a hobby."

Schuldig began to laugh, and the noise was bright and joyful and infectious.

Aya almost smiled.

(Z)

Schuldig indulged in the laughter, enjoying it. Enjoying that it was possible for him to have such a good time doing nothing more than talk. Aya was truly an amazing man to have such an effect on him.

He sighed as the laughter ended, turning onto his side and putting an arm around his companion. He snuggled close and grinned into the smaller man's hair.

For a wonder, Aya let him. It was like cuddling a block of stone, but Aya didn't tell him to move away.

"Say you'll live with me."

"I can survive without my things. They can be replaced."

"I'm not trying anything fishy, I swear!"

"How can you say that with a straight face after stealing all of my stuff?"

"Steal is such a strong word, _Veilchen!_" Schuldig murmured, daring to snuggle even closer. It had been years since the smaller man had been a florist, yet Schuldig imagined he could smell roses. "You can have it all back, after all. Just as soon as you move in with me."

"Schuldig…I'm not sure…" a deep breath. "Not sure I'm even capable of ever long again."

"So don't love me." Schuldig nuzzled his neck, loving the warm silkiness of his skin. "Did I ever say you had to? I just want you nearby so that you can entertain me."

"Selfish bastard."

"Nothing wrong with that." Schuldig kissed Aya's cheek then, reluctantly, sat up. He pulled a rumpled pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and lit up with shaking hands.

He hesitated.

"What I am…isn't my fault, _Veilchen_." he said at last, exhaling. "At least not entirely. I wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't learned to become selfish. If I had ever taken the time to care about anyone other than myself…I would be rotting in my grave right now."

"I didn't mean…"

"If you believe that, then prove it to me."

"You really are impossible, aren't you?"

Schuldig gave a somber laugh.

He was taken completely by surprise when Aya sat up beside him. The smaller man didn't put his arms around him, but he _did_ lean against him, slightly.

Schuldig offered him his cigarette and Aya shook his head, wrinkling his nose.

"Say you'll live with me."

"You didn't really leave me much of a choice, did you?"

"I have a short attention span, but you fascinate me. I need you nearby to keep me out of trouble."

A soft snort. Aya rose and crossed the room, crossing his arms as he turned to face the telepath.

"It isn't a good idea," he said at last. "It frightens me."

Schuldig grinned, and he knew the expression was feral and dangerous.

"Good."

Aya's expression softened somewhat and he shook his head. Schuldig leapt to his feet and reached for him, cheerfully leading him from the apartment.

(Z)

To Be Continued…

And hopefully it won't take too long. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**glinwulf **- Good question. The truth is, Aya has his suspicions (or will, once Yohji returns) but is somewhat reluctant to voice them against a friend.

**talietim** - Actually, the only Nekojita I've read is the Violet Eyes (as is made obvious in my total fangirling of it in EO.) As for your question, I think the answer is pretty obvious. I love Schu too much to make him all alone. Thanks for reading.

**sword** - Oh no, no! I really appreciate the help! I tend to forget to go back and check myself, but I am listening, and I appreciate it!

**GuiltyAmethyst **- Dude! Like, really? Sorry; had to tease. I'm sad I missed out on a really long review. So glad you're liking it!

**firsfc** - thank you very much!

**Moon without a Sun** - Yay! So glad that it does!

**CaT70** - LOL. I'm volatile, but I forgive easily, and I'll never stop posting. It's an addiction!

**Acesha Coeurl** - I'm glad you like him...can I still have the cookie even though it took me so long to update?

**BlackDragon** - Yohji will be back. I promise.


	4. Honesty

If I can manage to type a page or two every night…after I get all of my reading done…then I'll be doing pretty good.

Big revelation in this chapter. No, not the one you're thinking of. I hope it doesn't seem like something I just added to the plot for this one story. It's been in my head all along, to tell you the truth.

(Z)

Really, he was growing used to walking into the kitchen to find Schuldig in that stupid apron, busy cooking something.

The telepath's "creations" didn't always taste very good, but they were always creative, at the very least. Cooking was one of the few things besides killing which Schuldig could put all of his energy and his considerable creativity into for any amount of time.

Aya was in full support of this cooking-instead-of-causing-mayhem thing. Though he wasn't sure how, he tried his best to show his support of this new mode of action for the wicked man.

Schuldig seemed to understand his inadequate fumbling, at any rate. A week after Aya moved in, Schuldig bought him his own apron – purple and plain, but for a small cartoon kitten stitched onto the chest.

Aya would never willingly admit it, but he was glad that Schuldig had forced him to move in with him. He hadn't realized how his solitude was consuming him until the man had begun harassing him. He hadn't realized how deeply entrenched in darkness his life had begun until the telepath had forced him out into the light.

He wanted to mourn Yohji for the rest of his life. He wanted to wallow in his misery, replaying each and every time he had hurt the wonderful blonde. He wanted what he felt he deserved – suffering.

But Schuldig seemed disinclined to allow this.

(Z)

After nearly two weeks of Aya living with him, Schuldig felt that he was beginning to finally learn how to read his delicate housemate. Without the telepathy.

In fact, Schuldig was trying to limit the amount of contact he had with the beautiful man's mind. He knew that all his work would be undone if he ever once gave the smaller man reason to believe he had used his powers to gain an unfair advantage. He wanted – no, _needed_ – Aya to trust him.

Besides, staying away was a delicious challenge.

And learning to read Aya's signals was an even more delicious reward.

Aya was…

Happy was not the right word to describe him, of course, but it seemed to Schuldig that the man was finding peace, at least, with him. At last he was finding the safety and support he needed to at last allow himself to mourn the way his soul needed to.

Today when Schuldig asked Aya to go shopping with him, the smaller redhead had declined.

When Schuldig returned home, he'd found the man just where he'd left him, sitting at the kitchen table with an untouched plate of food.

Only now, Aya was crying.

At first Schuldig didn't know what was wrong. He dropped his bags and hurried the rest of the way into the room, falling to his knees at Aya's side and checking him over for any sign of visible injury.

Aya reached out and wrapped his fingers in Schuldig's hair, moving helplessly and willingly into his arms. Schuldig felt tears soaking into the fabric of his silk shirt and couldn't bring himself to care that it was probably being ruined. All that mattered was the man in his arms.

Nearly two hours later found him and Aya sitting on the kitchen floor with their backs against the cabinets, Aya held securely in Schuldig's arms. The tears had finally stopped, but neither man showed sign of wanting to move.

"I really was saddened to hear about Kudoh." Schuldig said at last, hesitantly breaking the silence between them. "I liked him."

Aya's hand tightened convulsively around the bit of Schuldig's shirt that he had clutched, and for a moment the German man was certain that he had said the wrong thing.

"Thank you." Aya said at last, voice raw. "I liked him, too."

Schuldig idly kissed the top of Aya's head, mind lost in memories he hadn't allowed himself to think about in years.

"I guess you wouldn't believe it if I told you that your Kudoh and I had a…history…together, would you, _Veilchen_?"

Aya lifted his head.

"History?"

"I'm sorry, kitty." Schuldig gave what he hoped was a regretful smile, brushing long strands of hair from the former swordsman's face as he wondered what in hell had made him tell him that. "It probably hurts to talk about him."

"No, I…I want to talk about him. Was this before the elders?"

"Indeed it was, _Veilchen_."

"Before me, then."

"Good."

"Tell me. Please."

Still Schuldig hesitated.

But…Aya never said _please_.

"I assume you are well aware that your Kudoh and myself both had…reputations for getting around, back then." Schuldig began warily.

Aya sent him a flat look. Yes, he was well aware of that fact.

Schuldig chuckled softly, brushing his lips gently against Aya's. Aya pulled back with a warning look, and Schuldig laughed again.

"Well, what do you expect, kitty?" he asked silkily. "One night our paths crossed and our blood alcohol was just high enough to keep us from each other's throats. Kudoh was feeling destructive, and I rebellious. Brad had been…insufferable…lately, so…"

"You two had a relationship?"

Aya's eyes were unreadable. It was truly a struggle to keep from reaching for his mind.

"_Relationship_ is a strong word, _Veilchen_. We never loved each other…though we might have, had circumstances been different."

"So…"

"Aya…are you sure you want to talk about this?"

"I want to know. Talking about him…helps."

"It was fun for a while," Schuldig said, wondering if he wasn't being incredibly cruel by telling Aya these things. "We would meet after missions…it was so forbidden, so exciting…but our differences proved too great in the end. With such differing ideals…we fought a lot. I think sometimes Kudoh would pick a fight on purpose."

Aya gave a small smile.

"He had an obsession with make-up sex."

"Indeed; it was glorious. But there were other issues. Even then…_Veilchen_, you have to know how he wanted you. He spoke of you all the time. And once Kudoh realized my relationship with Brad…it ended."

There was a silence between them for a long while. Finally, Aya sighed and leaned his head back against Schuldig's shoulder.

"Why do I want to trust you?"

"Beats the hell out of me, kitty."

"Thank you for telling me. I…nevermind. It sounds so stupid…"

"Tell me anyway."

"I haven't allowed myself to think about Yohji very much since he…left. Doing so…makes it feel like he's still alive. I can almost hear his voice, smell his cologne."

"That's not stupid, Aya. You're still in mourning – and you'll always miss him. He was…a remarkable man. It's only fitting that there be someone to remember him with such love."

Aya pulled back in order to stare at Schuldig. Hesitantly, he leaned forward to kiss him.

He then rose and left without another word.

(Z)

Aya looked up over the edge of his book, glaring at the flame haired man who had just flopped down onto his lap.

"Get off."

"_Veilchen_, you're so _serious_ all the time! Don't you have _any_ idea of the havoc frown lines will wreak on your pretty face?" To emphasize his point, Schuldig reached to touch his face. Aya jerked back, and the telepath's fingertips just barely managed to brush his cheek. It had been only a day since Aya had broken down in the kitchen and Schuldig had offered comfort.

They had made an unspoken agreement not to talk about what had happened, what was said, unless Aya was the one to bring it up. Seeing as he still wasn't sure what to make of the information Schuldig had given him, Aya was content, for the time being, to ignore it.

And so everything seemed to be back to what passed for normal.

"Stop it." he glared.

"It would truly be a crime to see such beauty waste away."

"What. Do. You. Want?"

"That's what I like about you, _Veilchen,_" the telepath drawled. "You don't waste any time. Forget niceties – just skip right to the point and everybody's happy."

Aya realized then that Schuldig was nervous about something. He fought to soothe his glare, having learned by now how useless such a thing was in the face of the incorrigible telepath.

"Schuldig."

The telepath dropped his eyes as if trying to appear demur.

"I want to ask you something, kitty, but I'm afraid you'll say no. You are such a delightful grump, after all."

"Schuldig."

The wicked one looked up, eyes meeting Aya's. The smaller redhead was shocked by the sincerity he could see blazing in those jade green orbs.

"I want to take you out tonight."

"Out?" Aya sputtered. "Like a date?"

A quick, sharp nod. If Aya hadn't known any better, he would have said that the man was blushing.

"Indeed." the flame haired man agreed.

Aya surprised himself by taking a moment to seriously consider it. Schuldig had been wonderful to him so far – in his own, slightly twisted way. He had taken care of him, and had been brutally honest with him about his intentions.

"_Veilchen_…Aya. Please, allow me this."

Schuldig rarely said please.

And he only used Aya's name when he was serious.

The former swordsman found himself nodding.

Schuldig was suddenly clutching at his arm.

"If you're toying with me, _Veilchen_, it would be a very cruel joke. You'll go? You swear to me?"

"Let go of me."

"Promise me!"

"Let go and I'll promise!"

Schuldig released him quickly, eyes large and hopeful.

Aya sighed, already regretting his decision.

"I'll go with you," he said reluctantly. "I promise."

And then suddenly, Schuldig was hugging him.

(Z)

"You'll need to dress up. Something sexy, but not _too_ sexy. And stylish…Actually, maybe I had better pick it out for you myself."

Aya had never seen Schuldig so excited about _anything_, and frankly, he'd been overwhelmed by both the man's enthusiasm and his energy. Before he'd known it, he had found himself sitting on his bed watching while Schuldig pulled out – and rejected – every single article of clothing he owned.

"Don't you own _anything_ designer?" the man demanded.

Aya blinked, feeling that he was drowning in the sea of "unacceptable" clothing that now littered every surface of the room.

Schuldig was buried in Aya's closet on his hands and knees, emerging only to toss away a shoe or belt, or even an occasional shirt that had fallen to the floor.

"You pay for the name, not the quality." Aya answered coldly. "It's a waste of money."

"Bah! You understand nothing – Prada is _never_ a waste of money! You're so lucky your Schuldig is here to educate you!"

"If you use the word 'fabulous,' I swear I'll leave." Aya informed him, pinching the bridge of his nose as he wondered how much longer Schuldig was going to take.

Schuldig's bright laughter drifted from the closet.

"Will you just come out of there?" Aya demanded at last. "I'm sick of trying to have a conversation with your rear end."

Schuldig glanced at him over his shoulder, his hair a gorgeous, fiery spill.

"Oh really, _Veilchen_? If you prefer, I am sure there are other things we could do involving my – or your – rear end!"

Aya rolled his eyes and tried to ignore a sudden cold feeling as for the first time he realized just how desirable the telepath really was. He'd known the man was sexy; however, he'd never before realized that he was beautiful, too.

That lovely face could have belonged on any woman, but it was his eyes – those bright, wicked jades – which made him truly stunning.

Too bad his boisterous personality usually hid his beauty.

Schuldig smirked suddenly at him, and Aya felt his face inflame.

He attempted to glare as Schuldig rose and approached, but the attempt failed when the telepath took his face in his hands and bent to gently brush his lips with his own.

There was barely the slightest caress of their mouths before Aya shoved the flame haired man away and rose quickly.

"Stay the _fuck_ out of my mind!" he snarled furiously.

Schuldig stared at him a moment then, abruptly, began to laugh.

This time, Aya had no trouble glaring at him.

"_Veilchen_, I haven't touched your delicious mind in _weeks_!" the telepath chuckled at last. "Though judging by your reaction, I have to say that I'm_ very_ curious to know what it was you were thinking about just then…"

"Bastard!" Aya hissed, hiding his face in his hands.

Schuldig was still chuckling as he picked himself up from where he had fallen when the smaller man had shoved him. He surveyed the mess he had made in Aya's room for a moment, then sighed.

"Nothing you own will do," he tsked at last. "I'll have to lend you something of mine. I guess tonight you'll get into my pants, after all."

Before Aya could yell, Schuldig was gone.

(Z)

To Be Continued

1. I'm not a big fan of Brad Crawford.

2. I _am_ a big fan of the "Yohji and Schu hooked up during Weiss" fanon

3. Schuldig _is_ fabulous

These facts are very important.

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**silverfox** - All will work itself out in time. There. That was my attempt at being mysterious.

**BlackDragon** - With this fic, I'm not trying to make anyone cry, I promise. The road to making all the characters happy isn't going to be an easy one, but compared to Inferno, it's...disneyland.

**talietim** - Always happy to oblige. I figure if I do my school work on time, and don't procrastinate, I might have time to type at least a little bit every day. Not usually my style, but I am trying. Let's see how long I can keep it up for...

**Acesha Coeurl** - Devours cookies. They're...uh...study food. Yeah. (ignores the glares from The Diet.)

**Moon without a Sun** - That's not sad. I want you to enjoy it. And just because Schu's gone and involved himself doesn't mean there won't be a place for Yohji in all this...


	5. A Date and a Serious Conversation

What? First she says to expect slower updates, then she gets so fast about it? _What_?

I've been watching the HBO series "Deadwood" this week, and so have been a bit lax in my school stuff. It's still early in the year, so it can be excused and not hurt me too much. And there's nothing I like doing more while watching tv than working on a new chappie. So…here we go. Plus, I'm going out of town and won't be here to update on Monday. So this is next week's update. FF's going to be down over the weekend, anyway.

I'm going to have a 16 page seminary paper due Thanksgiving. What do you think my chances are that the professor will let me do it on _Wicked_?

(Z)

With a little more teasing, Schuldig at last left Aya with some clothes he deemed to be "acceptable" and gave him the privacy to get ready alone.

Aya couldn't see how the borrowed clothes were any better than his own but he put them on dutifully, sensing how important this night was to the other man.

The black slacks fit well enough that Aya suspected that they may not actually belong to Schuldig at all, but be something he had purposefully bought with this very night in mind. The shirt he had been supplied with was a white button down decorated with a line of tiny violets that ran up the left side of his chest and down his right arm. The materiel was thin enough that Aya wondered how much skin would be showing through in good lighting.

As he looked in the mirror, Aya found himself suddenly thinking about Yohji. The blonde would have loved the sight of him in these clothes, his hair wild and beautiful.

Glaring at his reflection, Aya stubbornly pulled his hair back into a small, tight tail.

Yohji would want him to move on. He would have wanted him to live and find happiness. He would, undoubtedly, have found it hilarious to learn that _Schuldig_ was the one bringing Aya comfort…

But then again, Yohji had been Schuldig's lover. No doubt he would understand the man's appeal.

"Are you ready, kitty?" Schuldig called through the door with a quiet knock. He came in without waiting for permission, and Aya watched the man's eyes lose their habitual teasing light.

"Beautiful, _Veilchen_."

Aya found himself unable to answer.

Instead, he merely nodded and brushed past, trying not to think about his body's immediate reaction to the sight of Schuldig in a shirt so blue that it made his jade eyes brighter than ever, fiery hair pulled into an inexplicably sexy, tousled bun.

Aya heard a quiet chuckle from somewhere behind him, and strongly resisted the urge to turn around and glare.

(Z)

Schuldig blinked at the suspicious look that Aya shot him as he drove up to the restaurant.

"What?" he asked innocently, trying to make his voice light and hide his nervousness.

"How long have you been plotting this?" Aya demanded.

"It was more of a spur of the moment thing, really, kitty. Why?"

"We won't be able to get in if you're telling the truth." The smaller redhead gave a grimace and sat back in his seat. "You have to make reservations months, sometimes years in advance at this place."

"Reservations? Bah. We'll see."

He left the car with a valet, along with a small mental suggestion to take care not to let it get so much as scratched – or else.

Schuldig slid an arm around Aya's waist as they walked to the door. The smaller man jumped, but did not attempt to pull away.

He did, however, glare his severe disapproval after Schuldig used his powers to get them a table.

"You didn't honestly expect me to go by the rules, did you?" he asked lightly, kissing the other redhead's cheek. "I never play fair when it comes to something I want, _Veilchen_. You should know that by now."

"I suppose it's not much worse than you bribing him." Aya conceded at last, taking his seat.

"There, you see? Optimism is fun."

Aya only grunted, opening his menu. He refused to talk to Schuldig until after they had ordered their food, and after the telepath had made a comment about "sulking kittens."

"I'm not sulking." Aya glared.

Schuldig glared and Aya gave a small jump at the feel of the man's foot inching up his leg.

"Stop. That."

"You're no fun." Schuldig pouted.

Aya peered at him a moment, then finally decided to ask the question that had been bugging him for days.

"What was your relationship with Oracle?"

Schuldig grew pale, all mirth draining from his expression.

"Whatever do you mean, _Veilchen_?"

Aya refused to break his gaze from Schuldig's.

"When we were talking about Yohji, you said that the relationship ended because he had discovered your relationship with your leader. What was that relationship?"

"Aya, you have to understand…"

"What, Schuldig?"

He shook his head and dropped his eyes.

"My world has been very different from anything you Weiss could have ever imagined," he said at last. "Only the strong can survive Esset. Those strong enough to fight. Those strong enough to endure. There weren't many options. Brad was my leader, and if I disobeyed him, then he had every right to kill me."

Aya stared at him. He could literally _feel_ him staring.

"Are you saying…?"

"I'm not saying anything, and I won't say anything else. This is one story you will never get from me."

Silence passed, but Aya had always been one stubborn son of a bitch.

"Yohji knew?" he asked.

"He wanted me to leave Schwarz. He didn't know everything, but he knew enough…what could I have done, though? Back then…even if he could have convinced you and the rest of Weiss to accept me, Krittiker would have never allowed me to live. Kudoh could be…stubbornly optimistic."

Aya nodded thoughtfully, surprising them both by reaching across the table to take Schuldig's hand.

"Esset has ruled my life since almost before I can remember – and I can not entirely fault them this." Schuldig informed him, forcing himself to meet the smaller man's eyes. "The force of the minds of the world press down on me – without Esset's training, I would be mad or dead right now…but Esset has crumbled, and I'm free now. I've never had the power to make so many of my own decisions before, and I'm loving the power to choose. Krittiker has threatened me to keep me in line, but it's still my decision whether or not I want to behave myself."

"I'm happy for you."

"But you have the power now, too, _Veilchen_. Don't you?"

"I don't…"

"There's so much darkness in you. So much pain and regret…but it's all over now. You can choose to lead a life you're proud of; you can choose to release your pain and move on. You can choose to love."

Aya pulled his hand away.

They spent the rest of the meal in silence.

(Z)

Schuldig stopped him outside the front door, gently cupping the smaller redhead's face in his hands.

"Are you furious with me, _Veilchen_?"

"If I were furious, I would tell you."

Schuldig smiled, decided that the risk was worth it, and leaned in to gently brush his lips against the former swordsman's.

Aya allowed it for a moment, but pulled away when Schuldig attempted to deepen the kiss.

"Don't push it."

"You will think about our little conversation, won't you, kitty?"

"I will. I'll think about everything, Schuldig."

"Everything?"

Aya's eyes were dark and unreadable in the dim moonlight, his expression betraying nothing.

Aya would think about "choices," but he would also think about Schwarz, and Bradly Crawford, and Kudoh, and…

Schuldig nearly groaned.

"Why do you have to do everything the hard way?" he demanded, storming out and into the house.

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about." Aya answered, following. His voice, dry and emotionless, was as impossible to read as the rest of him.

"Stubborn bastard!" Schuldig rounded furiously on him. "This very moment, the two of us could be reaching the peaks of pleasure and we're _not_ because you have to think about _everything_. Can't you, for once, be a little impulsive?"

Aya's lip twitched. Unexpectedly, he laughed.

"Stop pouting, Schuldig!"

The German could only gape as, still chuckling, Aya retreated to his room.

Seeing the man smile…hearing him _laugh_…was a strange, almost frightening thing.

But it was certainly a good sign.

Schuldig sighed and shook his head. Keeping himself from using his powers was _hard_. It wasn't _fair_! Things would be so much _easier_ if…

But, he reminded himself, an Aya with an un-tampered mind would be more than worth the trouble. And this game of pushing limits and backing off almost too late was...fun.

(Z)

Wine with dinner usually made Aya sleepy at bedtime.

Tonight, however, he found that rest eluded him. He was certain he'd been lying in bed for hours, yet still his mind refused to shut down, his body to relax.

He sat up a little as he heard the doorknob turn, watched the light from the hallway spill across the floor.

Schuldig stopped short at the sight of him awake and watching him attempt to sneak into the room. Aya wondered if it was only his imagination, or if the man really did blush.

"I just wanted to tuck you in, _Veilchen_," the telepath lied.

"Like hell." Aya glared.

Schuldig laughed. It was a deep sound, a sensual sound, and it sent surprising shivers running down the former swordsman's spine. He was shocked to feel a small, excited response in his body as the flame haired man entered the room and crossed to sit on the bed next to him.

Suddenly, Aya was very aware that the wicked one hadn't just come to tease him.

"Looks like you've caught me." Schuldig murmured, completely serious, as he slid his hand to rest against Aya's thigh.

"Don't," the smaller redhead whispered, voice a rasp.

But Schuldig was already so close, and so very, very warm.

Aya did not try to pull away as Schuldig kissed him, even as the other man began to gently ease him back against the pillows.

Aya put a hand on one of the telepath's shoulders, preventing him from letting his full weight rest atop him. Nevertheless, there was still Schuldig's mouth, hot and eager, slipping down to his neck.

"Stop it," he ordered weakly.

"You _called_ to me, kitty," he mumbled back. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Didn't I tell you - ?" an involuntary moan interrupted him as Schuldig found a certain spot under his ear that drove all thought from his mind. It was an effort to force himself to continue the sentence, fought to keep himself from drowning in the man's attention. "Didn't I tell you to stay out of my mind?"

"You did, _Veilchen_, and I've been so very good, too!" Schuldig purred, slipping one hand up the former swordsman's shirt and teasing the pale, sensitive skin he found beneath as he continued to nuzzle the smaller man's neck. "How can I possibly be expected to fight my instincts when you call to me so strongly?" he moaned.

"I didn't…" Schuldig kissed him, and Aya found himself responding with surprising enthusiasm. "I didn't call you!" he insisted against the telepath's lips.

"You're in so much pain, Aya…you've been in so much pain for _so_ long! You want so badly to be safe again. To be _loved_ again." Shuldig drew back, eyes shining with hope and sincerity and caring. "Let _me_ be the one to give it all back to you! Let me heal you, Aya! Let me love you."

Aya closed his eyes.

Schuldig meant it. Somehow, it had progressed from fascination and a need to be entertained into some kind of real caring.

Or as close as the man knew how to come.

Schuldig no doubt knew more about him than anyone alive.

Schuldig had shared a relationship with Yohji.

And no one had ever said his name the way that Schuldig did. The man used nicknames for everyone he came across. He only used real names when he was very, very serious – and when he used Aya's name…his feelings were made clear.

Schuldig had taken Aya's silence for assent; it seemed his hands and lips were suddenly everywhere. Eager. Hungry. The man wanted him so _much_!

Somehow, Aya managed to push him away.

"No."

"Damn it, _why_, Aya?"

Staring up at the beautiful man, at the hurt and bewilderment on his pretty face, Aya found it difficult to remember.

"I don't want to…" he said at last, helplessly.

"_Why_?" Schuldig demanded. "Do you think Kudoh would disapprove? Aya! He can't be with you anymore! _I can_! I'm _here_ and _alive_ and I want you _so_ much…!" Schuldig leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Aya's shoulder. "For once in your life, Aya – _stop_ torturing yourself! You deserve happiness, not punishment!"

"Schuldig…"

"Aya, _please_!"

"I want you to leave."

There was a long and heavy silence, Schuldig staring at him in disbelief.

There was no hurt in his eyes – Schuldig could, of course, lift his motives from his mind.

But the man _was_ surprised. And perhaps a little angry, as well.

"Fine, _Veilchen_," he spat at last, looking away. "I won't force you to heal."

Aya blinked and Schuldig was gone. Somewhere in the house, a door slammed.

Aya rolled over onto his side and tried to pretend he didn't know why he was suddenly crying.

(Z)

To Be Continued

To note: Schuldig really is trying to help Aya - in his own twisted way. He wants him, true, but he also wants to be the one to heal him. It...goes with the ego. Please don't use the above scene to justify saying "look, that bastard just wants to get into Aya's pants." Hopefully, we all know him a little bit better than that by now...unless I'm not doing my job.

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**BlackDragon **- Yatta.

**Moon without a Sun** - then squee away, my friend. Squee away.

**Acesha Coeurl** - Mmm cookies...mmmm...Schu/Yohji and Aya/Yohji pics...(drools)

**GuiltyAmethyst** - Shhhh! Don't tell anyone!


	6. Taking a Risk

I've drawn a pic of our boys that I'm really proud of; as soon as I get a hold of a scanner I can share it. (grins).

This chapter might not be that much fun for those of you who still insist that you don't like Schu…and also, anyone under seventeen shouldn't read it.

Lemon Content in this chapter! Chapter rating NC 17! If you do not know what this means, then you should not read it!

There. My warning. Now the surprise is spoiled. (pouts)

(Z)

When Aya walked into the kitchen the next morning, he found the place a mess. Schuldig looked as if he hadn't brushed his hair, and as if he'd thrown on the first set of clothing he'd found, regardless of how dirty or wrinkled. He hadn't bothered with his usual apron, either.

"Schuldig?"

A pot slammed down on the stove harder than it should have. The German refused to turn around, instead reaching for something on the spice rack.

"Morning, _Veilchen_."

His voice was tight, his accent heavy.

Aya slid slowly into a chair.

"You're mad at me…" he said quietly.

Schuldig's movements were brisk as he pulled whatever he was cooking off the stove and dished it onto two plates.

"Schuldig?"

"I'm not angry, kitty."

The telepath placed one of the plates of food down before him, then took the seat in front of him. His eyes were tired.

"You're lying." Aya accused.

"Perhaps so."

"Look, I - !"

"I don't want to talk to you right now,_ dear_."

"Just because I wouldn't sleep with you?" Aya felt a stirring of anger. "Because I can't love you?"

"No, _Veilchen_. Because you can't love yourself."

Aya forced himself to take a deep breath.

"Schuldig, you don't understand."

"_Please_!" he scoffed.

Aya fell silent, knowing that the excuse had been a foolish one.

"You love to be miserable because that's all you've known for so long." Schuldig informed him steadily, coldly. "You can't stand to be happy because you don't understand happiness, and things you don't understand frighten the hell out of you. I've been very good. I haven't _touched_ your mind since you came here – and I don't need to! It didn't work with Kudoh because _you_ pushed him away. You were frightened of the risk of loving and could trust neither yourself nor your man to make it work despite adversity. _Trust me Veilchen!"_

He rose and left before Aya could even begin to think of an answer.

(Z)

A soft, misting rain fell outside, gentle and gloomy.

It was a perfect match for his mood. He wasn't quite depressed, but he certainly wasn't cheerful, either. Just…gray. His mind was heavy with thoughts he dared not give voice to. Thoughts that had been weighing on him for years but which he had ignored out of pain or fear or cowardice.

Aya had been an earlier riser all his life, yet he had been awake for hours and still remained in bed. Sitting up, his back propped up against the headboard, he was certain that he'd been staring out the window for at least two hours.

He heard the door open and turned his head slowly, surprised. In the two days since their confrontation in the kitchen he hadn't so much as seen Schuldig.

Only two days, but Aya had almost forgotten how deceptively pretty the man could be.

He had dressed himself in a pair of designer jeans and a long, white linen button down so light that his skin could be seen through it. He stood in the doorway to Aya's bedroom almost timidly, an unsure smile on his face.

"Are you going to yell at me if I come in, _Veilchen_?"

"No."

"You sure? I probably deserve it."

Despite himself, Aya gave a small laugh. Smiling a little more, Schuldig entered the room and crossed to sit carefully beside him on the bed. Aya found himself fascinated by his uncharacteristic show of humility.

"Stop it, Schuldig." Aya moved a pillow so that the telepath could move a little closer. "It isn't like you to be so awkward."

"I want to fix this."

"You're the one who should be angry." Aya sighed. His hand moved as if of its own accord and he wrapped long strands of Schuldig's long, soft hair around his finger. "I've been very rude to you, while you've been…annoying, but kind."

"You have a fever, don't you?"

Aya caught Schuldig's hand as he reached to feel for a temperature. He managed a small glare.

"I don't like to be pushed, Schuldig, but…you don't deserve the way I've treated you. Accept my apology – it's the only one you're going to get."

"I'll accept your apology," Schuldig smirked, "_If_ I can have a kiss."

Aya's glare sharpened, but he used his hold on the telepath's hair to pull him close enough for a quick peck.

"I will try," he promised, "To heal. But don't push me."

"If I don't push you, you'll never make any progress."

Schuldig kissed him again, quickly, and scrambled from the bed before he could get hit.

"Come on! Get up, get dressed!"

"Why?"

"I'm going to take you somewhere!"

(Z)

Schuldig stopped the car, but neither he nor Aya made any move to get out.

"We're here." the telepath said at last.

"It's raining."

Schuldig looked out; it was indeed still raining, and there was quite a walk ahead of them, but really he hadn't even thought about the weather. Every time he had come to this place in the past he had been so broken in mind and body that nothing else had mattered. He supposed part of the mindset was still with him.

"Do you want an umbrella? There might be one in the back…" Schuldig moved to check and Aya pulled him gently back into his seat.

The man observed him for a moment before seeming to sense that Schuldig was trying to show him something important. His eyes softened, a small smile crossing his lips.

"Let's go."

Schuldig stared at him, reminded again of why he found himself falling in love with the small, beautiful man. The man was truly remarkable – when he managed to forget his problems.

Impulsively, he leaned in to kiss him, cupping the back of the smaller man's head to keep him from pulling away before he was finished. Kissing Aya was always a gamble – the man was just as likely to bite him as to accept the gesture.

That was part of the appeal, though.

Today Aya was sweetly submissive, not even attempting to fight him.

But Schuldig had learned it wasn't smart to test his luck where Aya was concerned.

He pulled away before he was completely satisfied, and silently got out of the car.

Aya followed moments later, expression unreadable.

As they began to walk, Schuldig felt Aya's hand slip into his own.

The walk was a fairly long one, and the path was not easy. Schuldig felt a moment of guilt for not thinking to warn Aya to dress appropriately, but the smaller redhead didn't complain.

They were both, however, silent on the walk, and the telepath found himself with plenty of time to think about his previous trips to this place. Battered in mind, usually in body as well. This may very well be the happiest occasion he'd ever ventured here.

At last they reached it, the cliffy outcropping, the small, nearly imperceptible cave entrance.

Schuldig moved to sit down, mind full of old memories.

"Schuldig?"

He leaned back, closing his eyes.

"Can you feel the memories of this place, _Veilchen_? The blood? The tears?"

"What is this place?"

"One of our first jobs in Japan went badly. The team got separated and I ended up here…I made it a habit to come back whenever I felt close to breaking. I left all of my emotions here…it's how I survived."

Silence was the only answer Aya gave. Either the smaller redhead didn't know how to respond, or he didn't think a response was necessary.

Breathing deeply, Schuldig opened his eyes to take in the familiar view. It was a beautiful place when he wasn't in too much pain to enjoy it.

He was glad he had brought Aya.

(Z)

Aya had never seen Schuldig so…calm. So still.

He'd never dreamed that the man's vibrancy could be just another part of the mask that every assassin wore to protect his soul. Schuldig had enjoyed his work – but not because he was an evil person. His faults were a by-product of his training and his power.

Here it all fell away and Aya found himself gazing at a fully vulnerable, fully honest Schuldig. He thought it might be a glimpse of what the man could have been had Esset not shaped him in the ways they had.

He moved to sit next to the flame haired man, surprising them both by wrapping his arms around him.

_All we can do is live_, Schuldig's voice informed him silently, sounding so very tired. _There is no need for regret. Those things which must be endured cannot last forever. This place taught me that._

Aya shifted closer, closing his eyes as he felt Schuldig's arms encircle him in turn.

_Release your pain, too. You can find your freedom. I'm here._

(Z)

They had been silent for a long while, held tightly in each other's arms. Neither cried, though both found himself entrenched deeply in memories of darkness and blood.

At last they found that they had to leave – Aya had to work that night, and it would take a little time to get back to town.

Still they did not speak. Schuldig had taken the risk of gently entering Aya's mind – just as deep as the barest surface thoughts – and he had not been pushed away. They rose together when it was time to go, and walked back to the car with their arms around each other.

Schuldig had been surprised when Aya had initially put his arms around him. The man barely tolerated Schuldig's flirtatious touches or kisses – him actually _initiating_ anything was unprecedented.

When they reached the car, they embraced. Aya even allowed Schuldig to kiss him.

"Did I mention that I'm falling for you, Aya?"

The smaller man's smile was gentle, his eyes warm. He leaned in to brush his lips against the telepath's.

"Thank you, Schuldig," he said quietly. "And thank you for showing me this."

They were silent on the ride home.

There wasn't need for them to say anything else.

(Z)

Schuldig was pulled abruptly from sleep at the mental feel of someone entering his room. He sat up quickly, suddenly completely awake and aware.

"_Veilchen_?" he asked, squinting into the darkness. "What is it, kitty?"

Aya closed the door silently after himself and leaned against it, not answering.

Schuldig slid from the bed, concerned and suddenly fearful.

"Aya? Did something happen at work?"

"Schuldig."

Aya's voice shook. The telepath felt his concern growing.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I don't want to have any regrets anymore, Schuldig." Aya said quietly, not looking at him. "I spent too much time being logical and safe, and I wasted precious time with Yohji that I'll never get back. I don't want to make the same mistakes with you."

Schuldig felt suddenly frozen.

"You mean…?"

A trembling breath.

"If you'll have me."

It seemed only an instant and Schuldig was across the room, standing before Aya. The small man looked up at him with eyes that were both fearful and trusting, and came willingly into his arms.

Schuldig cupped Aya's face in his hands, soothing back long strands of hair so he could look into those beautiful eyes.

Slowly he began to smirk, hands falling to Aya's shoulders as he pushed him gently back against the door. With a quiet growl, he leaned in to cover Aya's lips with his own, at last indulging in the desire to completely ravage his mouth, to kiss him as deeply and as thoroughly as he pleased.

Aya's response was hesitant at first, but it only took a few moments before he gained confidence. Schuldig found himself smirking against his lips; Kudoh had taught the former swordsman well.

He caught Aya's lower lips between his teeth, rolling his eyes up to give Aya a wicked look.

"There's so much I want to do to you," he murmured heatedly. "I don't even know where to begin!"

"Do whatever you like."

Schuldig chuckled darkly, moving his lips to the smaller redhead's neck, teeth scraping skin as he began to rip at the former swordsman's pants.

Aya's hands came up and he tangled his fingers in Schuldig's hair and pulled him in for another kiss.

"Clothes off." Schuldig ordered, still struggling with Aya's work pants. Aya moved to help him, revealing himself to be just as eager as the telepath had become.

Schuldig shoved Aya's shirt up, falling on the bared skin like a drowning man as his hand slipped down between them to stroke the other redhead's growing length.

"So perfect. Everything – so perfect!" he growled, control diminishing at the knowledge that he could affect the former swordsman so.

"Time to appreciate it later, Schuldig," Aya informed him, heat in his own voice. He used his hold on the other man's hair to pull him harshly in for another scorching kiss.

"Here?" he asked in disbelief as his mind caught a brief flash of just what the swordsman wanted.

Aya – pinned against the door, remnants of clothing still hanging off his body as Schuldig pushed his way inside, harder and faster, in a mixture of blissful pain and excruciating pleasure.

Schuldig caressed the image in his mind for a few moments before strengthening it and sending it back to the smaller redhead, causing him to gasp and buck against him.

"That's what you want?" Schuldig whispered, enjoying seeing the other man's usually perfect control so frayed. "Just like that?"

Aya tried to speak and couldn't. Instead he only nodded vigorously, clutching desperately at him as he silently begged for what he could never ask for out loud.

"I think I can manage that, kitty."

He drew back a little and smirked at the sight of Aya's kiss-swollen lips, the delicate flush to his cheeks, the darkness of lust in his eyes.

Raising a hand, he gently touched Aya's mouth with his index finger and the smaller man's lips parted to accept the digit.

For Aya, this was not about some spiritual connection, not about love. It wasn't even about physical need.

It was about taking a chance and acting on impulse.

Risking everything on that small and fragile thing called hope.

Schuldig held his eyes as he prepared him, and kissed him fiercely before turning him to face the door.

"You better brace yourself…" he teased, hurridly freeing himself from his own clothing.

He didn't wait for a response before entering him in one swift thrust, smirking at the tiny, surprised sound that Aya made.

His next thrust was slower, but no less forceful, urging a loud, ragged gasp from his lover's throat.

"This what you had in mind?" he purred wickedly, pulling gently on his ear with his teeth.

"Don't stop!" Aya ordered breathlessly, pushing back against him.

Another thrust and the smaller man cried out.

It was a quiet sound, breathy, but it set Schuldig's blood aflame.

The wicked telepath had always thrived on attention, and hearing that sound spill from the lips of cold, controlled, dangerous Aya Fujimiya meant more than there were words to describe.

" Don't stop? I think I can arrange that, beautiful."

(Z)

An exhausted, satiated sleep. Complete darkness and warmth.

Safety.

A calm covered him like a blanket, an unfamiliar peace. His limbs felt so wonderfully heavy, his mind so quiet.

He shifted a little, fighting the urge to wake, enjoying the warmth and weight of the body that lay sprawled across his own.

Really, he was surprised either of them had had the strength to stumble into the bed at all last night.

He sighed to himself and reluctantly admitted that he was awake. Regretfully, he opened his eyes.

Orange obscured his vision. With a small smile he reached to brush Schuldig's hair away. From mere inches away he stared into his lover's still-slumbering face, surprised at how perfect, how beautiful the man was – when he wasn't busy acting like a jackass.

Aya reached for him,lightly tracing his fingers against the other man's face, and Schuldig groaned and snuggled closer.

"You faker. You're awake."

One wicked, jade green eye opened.

"How did you know?"

"You're too still."

"Don't make me get up."

Oddly, Aya found himself smiling.

"I won't."

Despite his plea, Schuldig sat up a little and propped himself up on an elbow in order to better observe Aya.

"How do you feel?"

"A little sore."

A smile blossomed across Schuldig's face and Aya punched his arm.

"That's not supposed to make you happy."

"Oh, but I'm thrilled. You're going to be feeling me _all_ day long. That makes me _very_ happy." The smirky smile settled into something more sincere. "No regrets, right, kitty?"

"None."

Schuldig leaned down and kissed him like he wanted to devour him. Kissed him like he still wasn't sure he was allowed to do so – as if he wanted to take in as much as he could before he was pushed away.

"I'm not falling in love with you anymore, Aya," he confided quietly, meeting his eyes. _I'm already there._

(Z)

To be Continued

Some notes on the lemon: We all know that I'm very self-conscious about my lemons, but I did put a lot of thought into it, and feel the need to explain these thoughts. Aya has always been borderline masochistic, and Yohji's "death" has made him even more so – to the point that he would have let Schu get away with anything he wanted. And let's face it, Schuldig is not a gentle person. He would never hurt Aya, but neither is he as gentle as Yohji was – which is what Aya needs right now. If Schu had acted like Yohji, Aya would have been destroyed. If it feels too fast, too soon, too whatever...I'm sorry.

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**Moon without a Sun** - thanks! And he's not being so silly anymore, is he? Squee? Or no squee?

**silverfox** - there's nothing wrong with having a preference. Schu gets a lot of bad publicity. He is an ass, but he's a cute ass. Eh...bad publicity is difficult to overcome.

**GuiltyAmethyst** - lol; that would have been awkward, neh?

**CaT70** - lol; that would certainly make life easier! Well, I'm not sure any writing class in AL is ready for yaoi fanfiction, anyway...


	7. I think you should know

Yay! The page divider thingies are back!

* * *

"Good morning, _Veilchen_!"

Aya glared at the cheerful greeting as he walked into the kitchen. Schuldig was standing in front of the stove, dressed in his frilly white apron and absolutely nothing else.

"You should at least wear pants in the kitchen, Schuldig," he sighed, slipping into one of the barstools in front of the kitchen island.

"I have my apron on!" the flame haired man chirruped cheerfully. "And I wanted to make sure that you had an unobstructed view of my ass."

Despite himself, Aya laughed.

He had been Schuldig's lover for nearly two weeks now, and he had not felt a single second of regret.

It felt good to be loved again, good to be wanted. Schuldig wasn't nearly as gentle with him as Yohji had always been, which was exactly what Aya needed. That hint of danger – knowing that the telepath would never hurt him, but that he was capable of it…it was exciting. _Invigorating_.

And Schuldig was so beautiful, so exciting, so…

Aya was enjoying his affair with the man. He couldn't spend too much time thinking about it without becoming frightened, even saddened, but the truth was that Schuldig was beginning to mean more to him than he was really willing to admit.

"You got up early," he stated, unwilling to admit that he was upset at having woken up alone.

Schuldig understood, anyway.

"I'm sorry, kitty, but I had the sudden irresistible urge to make you a very large breakfast. We need to keep up your strength. Friday night will be our two week anniversary and I want to make sure you'll survive all of the naughty things I have planned for you."

Schuldig turned to him with a plate of food and a gorgeous smile, and Aya was happy to see that the apron completely covered his front.

Aya didn't approve of nudity around food.

Much less sex.

And a naked Schuldig was hard to resist.

"And what makes you so sure that I'll _let_ you do everything you have planned?"

Schuldig threw his head back and laughed, his wild mane of hair flowing down his back, his lovely, smooth throat exposed.

Aya found himself reaching for him, putting an arm around his waist and leaning in to kiss that long, lovely column.

Schuldig's arms encircled his shoulders, his laughter dissolving into a quiet chuckle.

"Aya…"

He snuggled closer, enjoying the man's warmth, the silent, ever-present comfort. Schuldig's mind was almost always in contact with his now, a gentle and careful touch that never intruded farther than Aya was comfortable with.

They both knew that the purple eyed young man was finally healing.

And Schuldig no doubt knew how much it meant to him.

"Schuldig?"

"Mm?"

"I'm not eating anything you cooked without pants on."

Schuldig drew back, staring at him.

"But I wore my apron!" he protested.

"Too bad." Aya rose and went for the cereal pantry.

Immediately a body slammed into him, arms wrapping tightly around his waist.

"You're an evil, evil tease!" Schuldig groaned into his neck.

Aya could only laugh.

* * *

The night was quiet and peaceful, the few neighbors they had having already locked up for the night. Aya had laughed when Schuldig suggested that they take a walk, asking him if he really thought that they were some quaint couple from the fifties.

"Don't you believe in sweet little scenes of domestic life?"

"Not for people like us, Schuldig."

The telepath smiled at him, reaching to cup his face in his hands.

"People like us? _Veilchen_, there's nothing we can't have – if we know how to look for it."

Aya hadn't known how to respond.

So now they walked, hand in hand, down the street.

Schuldig was proud of the logic that had brought them there, though they both knew the telepath had an ulterior motive.

"You better get it over with soon." Aya informed him at last. "If you're going to ruin this night, I would prefer you do it before it becomes a memory I would want to cherish."

Schuldig snorted, loving Aya's reasoning.

"I'm not certain it will ruin it, kitty, I just…"

"Schuldig?"

He stopped, taking Aya's hands in his own and looking deeply into those beautiful, captivating eyes.

"Schuldig?"

"You're falling in love with me, Aya." Schuldig informed him quietly. "Deep in the parts of your mind that you do not allow yourself to examine, hidden within your heart, is a small seed of love – for me."

"Oh."

"Yes," he nodded. "So, if you need time to accept this or think…think that we should slow things down a little…now's the time to tell me."

Aya stared at him, expression unreadable.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked at last.

"Because you deserve to know. Because neither of us is certain that your heart is ready to love again. Because…"

"Schuldig."

"Aya?"

"I want to love you."

* * *

Aya glanced out the door, surveying the dark parking lot critically, remaining as still as possible as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness outside.

Schuldig wanted him to quit his job. Though the man took immense amusement from the fact that the former leader of Weiss was now serving up drinks in an all-male strip club, and he enjoyed teasing him about taking the position as punishment to himself, but the telepath still thought Aya should quit.

"You don't need it, kitty," he'd pled only the night before as they lay in each other's arms. He brought his fingers up and down Aya's arm in a slow caress. "And it's in a bad neighborhood."

"I can handle myself." Aya had answered, daring him to bring up the night Schuldig had "rescued" him.

"How about this, then," Schuldig had tightened his arms around Aya and tolled them both so that Aya was on his back. He propped himself up on an elbow, fiery hair cascading wildly around him, and smirked down on him. "Think of all the time we could be spending here, in bed, if you didn't have that damned job to worry about."

Aya glared, slapping his arm.

"I don't like it."

"Then it's a good thing you're not the one who works there."

Aya's glare had been subdued; he had found himself distracted from any annoyance by the closeness of Schuldig's body, the strength of him, the intoxicating scent of his skin.

He'd wound his fingers in the telepath's hair – something he had grown quite fond of doing, and pulled him down for a kiss.

What Aya would never be willing to admit was that the attack that had proceeded Schuldig's reintroduction into his life had frightened him. He wasn't entirely sure that he _hadn't_ wanted to be hurt that night.

And now he was filled with doubt. Was it carelessness on his part, or had he just been that easy to ambush?

He hadn't cared before – but now…now he wanted to live.

So now he stood in the doorway, staring out into the dark parking lot looking for suspicious shadows.

"Over here, _Veilchen_."

He jumped a little at the sound of the voice, and Schuldig stepped into the light, seeming to melt out of the darkness.

"What are you doing here?"

"Funny way you have of showing gratitude!" the telepath chuckled, crossing his arms.

"I'm sorry. What are you doing here?"

Schuldig laughed – that beautiful, vibrant sound. Schuldig always threw his whole self into his laughs, even if no one else could see the humor in the situation.

It was one of the most beautiful things about him.

Aya moved, crossing to his lover. Schuldig held out his arms, and he came willingly into his embrace, nestling close to his chest.

"You were so worried about tonight, _Veilchen_, that I had to come," the flame haired man said quietly.

"Bad things seem to happen on my anniversaries," he mumbled back, voice slightly muffled by Schuldig's shoulder.

"But it's far past midnight, kitty. Technically, our anniversary is over."

"No, it's just beginning. It was past midnight when we first slept together."

"You going to stand here and argue with everything I say?"

"Possibly."

His chuckle washed over Aya like cleansing water.

"Did you drive here?"

"No, I took a cab on the off-chance you'd be so generous as to allow me to ride home with you – despite the fact I knew you'd be annoyed by my coming here."

"Thank you for coming."

"Are you ready to go?"

"Let me lean here a little while longer. My feet hurt."

"As much as I love the thought…" abruptly, Schuldig lifted Aya into his arms. Despite threats, pinches, kicking, and spitting, he began to carry the smaller man to the car. "Give me your keys, _Veilchen_."

"Put me down!"

"Your feet hurt, darling. And I want to get home so we can celebrate our anniversary properly."

"If you _think_ I'm going to let you touch me now - !"

Schuldig placed him on the hood of the car, trapping both of his wrists in one hand and putting the other on his hip as he bent to kiss him.

It was a hungry kiss, undeniably possessive, insistent. There was no way for Aya to fight it, no way to escape the heat and the strength and the passion.

Releasing his wrists, Schuldig wrapped Aya's legs around himself and pulled him closer.

"Keep fighting me and we'll consummate our anniversary here and now."

"Try it and I'll bite you." Aya swore.

Schuldig only laughed.

* * *

Schuldig left his lover sound asleep in the bed, tangled up in the sheets and fully unaware – trusting that it was safe to sleep so deeply in his presence.

It was very early, and Schuldig would much rather crawl back into bed with the sweet man, but he found himself dressing and pulling his hair back into a quick tail.

Schuldig rarely planned anything, and when he'd awoken that morning, he'd decided to follow his first impulse and get up to make a special breakfast for his lover.

But he didn't have the things he needed, and was unwilling to compromise – which meant a trip to the store.

He left a note on the counter, though he knew that the man wouldn't awaken before he returned. Schuldig was certain that he'd exhausted him last night. He had a few hours, at least.

He couldn't suppress a proud smirk at the fact. He'd never before been in a relationship where both partners were equal and willing. And though he fully enjoyed claiming every inch of Aya's soft, pale skin, he also enjoyed having the power to give the man such pleasure.

The store was nearly deserted at this time of morning. Feeling cheerful, Schuldig grabbed a shopping cart and began to hum under his breath.

He smiled at the bleary-eyed stock boys and gave them a small suggestion to "experiment" with each other in one of the back rooms.

No reason _they_ couldn't have a little fun, too.

He did his shopping quickly, eager to get back to his sweet, delicious lover, and was soon standing in line reading a trashy tabloid.

"Find everything all right today?" the cashier asked the person standing ahead of him in line.

"I sure did," was the cheerful answer. "How are you today, ma'am?"

Something about that voice…

"Oh, fine. Sleepy."

"Yeah, it's early," the other customer laughed.

Schuldig looked up over the edge of his magazine.

The man in front of him was tall and lanky, all lean muscles and jutting lines. It was strange to see him in a shirt and tie, though that smile – that laugh! – was unmistakable.

"Kudoh."

He had spoken aloud, but didn't care. He was staring, and that didn't matter, either.

It wasn't every day that a person came back from the dead.

The blonde man turned to look at him, laughter giving way to a vague smile.

"Yes?"

"Yohji Kudoh."

"Can I help you?"

"How is this possible?"

"I'm sorry, but…do I know you?"

* * *

To Be Continued

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**Acesha **- two squees? Yay! I'm getting a collection!

**GuiltyAmethyst** - you know me too well, oh psychic one...

**CaT70** - (grins) Her works are actually what inspired Bridges in the first place. Eh...the sweet pictures, not the lemony ones. Although...

**Finn** - thank you very much. As for your hopes...well, I can't say anything yet, can I?


	8. Anything

This is early for several reasons. While I adjust to me new work schedule, I've procrastinated too much on my school work. Hopefully this weekend will help recharge me so my grade isn't hurt. Also, I know that the end of the last one was a bad one to stop on. Ya'll have been waiting for Yotan, after all. And I was feeling nice and just ended up finishing this early.

* * *

A soft touch against his cheek, a warm body suddenly beside him in the bed.

Aya smiled to himself and shifted closer to that warmth. Mostly asleep but partially awake, he let himself be lulled by the familiar scent of his lovers' skin, the soothing feel of a long-fingered hand pulling gently through his hair.

Schuldig brushed his lips gently against his forehead.

"Time to wake up, kitty," he murmured quietly. There was something so intimate about his voice, something that, at the same time, made him feel very safe. "Aya?"

"Schuldig…" he snuggled closer, pillowing his head against his lover's chest. "Don't wake me up."

"_Veilchen_, I…I have a…a present for you."

"Why?" he asked, snuggling even closer.

"Why'?" Schuldig repeated, sounding surprised. "It's still our anniversary, isn't it?"

"Two week anniversary. I don't need a present."

"This is a very special present, kitty," he answered quietly. He sounded so strange, so hesitant. Aya opened his eyes to look down at his lover, finding a strange stillness about the man.

"Schuldig?" he asked, finding his lingering languor vanishing.

"Don't look so worried," he assured him with an unreadable smile. "You're going to love this gift. In fact, you're going to love it so much that…I almost don't want to give it to you."

"Schuldig?" Aya sat up, frightened. "Schuldig, what's wrong?"

* * *

Aya entered the kitchen and froze.

"Schuldig!" he hissed, rounding on his lover. "Why is there a man tied up in our kitchen?"

Schuldig grimaced, his eyes locked on the unfortunate person he had kidnapped. Somewhere behind his angered annoyance at the man, Aya realized that the telepath had grown very pale. Almost sickly.

"Schuldig."

Slowly the telepath looked at him. The smile he gave was missing all of its usual wicked confidence.

"He is tied up…because he refused to come with me willingly…" he answered at last. "And the hood is covering his head because I was afraid that if I allowed you to see him it would be too much of a shock to your system. I wanted to…prepare you first."

The man in the chair was wearing black slacks, a white button down, and a blue tie. His head was completely covered by what appeared to be an old pillow case. Schuldig had done a professional job of tying him – his shoulders and ankles were bound to the chair, his arms behind his back.

He'd probably sat there quietly, allowing Schuldig to do it, his mind completely clouded.

"Schu, what have you done?" Aya whispered.

Schuldig crossed the room to his prisoner, and took a position standing behind him. His eyes, when he looked at Aya, were sad.

"You might want to sit down, _Veilchen_," he warned solemnly.

The prisoner had lifted his head when they had entered the room and began to struggle. Now it was very clear by his body language, by how still he had grown, that he was listening to every word they said.

"Schuldig, just do it!" Aya snapped.

The telepath took a deep breath, then quickly pulled off the hood.

Aya felt his legs give out.

* * *

Schuldig hurried across the room and managed to keep Aya from hurting himself when he fell. The smaller redhead didn't seem to notice. Nor did he notice the arms wrapped so tightly around him, the face pressed to his back.

Schuldig had known that he could lose Aya if he brought Kudoh here.

But he would never have been able to live with himself if he hadn't brought Kudoh to Aya.

"Omi…Omi said he'd died." Aya whispered. "He _said_…he…" a shudder ripped through his body and Schuldig tightened his hold on him. "_Yohji_…"

"I'm sorry, Aya. I don't know why you were lied to, but…was I right to bring him here? To tell you?"

"Yohji…"

"I should have warned you first. I know. I'm sorry. Aya…"

Silence a moment. Slowly the trembling man rose, leaving Schuldig's arms, and crossed to the blonde man in the chair.

He fell on Kudoh, wrapping his arms around his neck and burying his face against his shoulder as he began to cry, body shaking violently with sobs.

Schuldig slowly stood, wondering if he should leave them alone or not.

"_Veilchen_…Aya. I think I should tell you…"

He clearly wasn't listening. His hands trembled as he reached for the cloth that Schuldig had used to gag Kudoh, pulling it away.

He kissed him, the kiss of a brokenhearted man too long away from the one he loved. At times Aya had difficulty expressing his emotions, but it was clear just how watching him that he was putting everything into that kiss.

Kudoh jerked away before he was finished, terror in his eyes.

"What the _hell_ is going on?" he demanded.

"Yohji?"

"Who the hell are you?"

* * *

There had been no mistaking the reaction of the small redhead upon seeing him – clearly this was someone who had known him in that other life, the life he couldn't remember.

But Yohji Kudoh was not about to let some strange _man_ come in and _kiss_ him.

Surprise and hurt momentarily flashed across the small man's face. Slowly all traces of emotion drained from his pretty countenance until Yohji at last found himself staring into a face as emotionless as a statue's.

Abruptly the small man rose – a fluid, graceful movement – and fled the room.

With a vehement curse, the flame haired one followed.

* * *

"I'm sorry, _Veilchen_…Aya."

A hand on his back – a gentle, hesitant touch.

"He remembers absolutely nothing. I'm sorry; I know I should have warned you…I just didn't know how." Schuldig's voice was quiet and apologetic. Sincere. "I should have done everything differently, shouldn't I?"

A turned and swung at him, missed, and fell against him in years as his control at last cracked and fell away.

Schuldig's arms closed around him slowly.

"Aya…"

"Just shut up." Aya ordered, clutching at him.

Schuldig did as told, holding the smaller man tightly. Aya fought to ground himself on that embrace, to use some of the strength of Schuldig's arms to be strong for just a little longer.

* * *

He looked up, somewhat fearful, as one of his captors entered the room. It was the small one, the one who had kissed him. The wicked, flame haired one didn't follow.

The man stopped a safe distance away, his face as expressionless as it had been when he'd left.

"Please, man. This is really starting to freak me out."

"I'm not here to hurt you; I just want to talk." Without taking his eyes from him, the small redhead slipped into one of the barstools at the kitchen island.

"That's what the guy in the movie says before he ass rapes you and eats your liver."

The small man's lips twitched as if he was about to smile.

"You…you really don't know who I am, Yohji?"

"You really know who _I_ am?"

"My name is Aya Fujimiya. You…we were lovers."

"Sorry, but now I know you're lying. I'm not gay."

Aya dropped his eyes. A long, awkward moment of silence passed between them.

Yohji almost felt like apologizing.

Almost.

"You really don't remember anything at all, Yohji?" Aya's voice was so quiet, so solemn, that Yohji felt compelled to answer.

"I woke up one morning in a hospital bed. That's the earliest memory I have."

"And you're happy this way?"

"I'm happy." Yohji hesitated, knowing that wasn't the complete truth. Somehow, it felt wrong to lie to the small, cold-eyes man now watching him so hawkishly. "Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

He hesitated again.

"I have a wife. I have a nice house and a job I enjoy." With each word he spoke, he watched his captor grow more and more cold, his very humanity seeming to slip away. "It's just weird knowing that there's a whole chunk of my life that I can't remember," he continued. "It scares the shit out of me sometimes, if you must know. But yeah, overall, I'm usually happy."

Aya mouthed the word _wife_ silently to himself, then looked up at him, gaze burning.

"Don't you want to get those memories back? Are you really content with this half-life…this fallacy? This _illusion_?"

"Yes, I am."

"You're lying!" he spat, eyes blazing dangerously. "Yohji Kudoh would never be content with such an existence! He was too vibrant, too passionate, to quietly accept such a dark fate!"

"So what if I did want my memories?" Yohji demanded. "There's nothing I can do about it. The doctors said that there was too much damage – that I would never remember. Just _trying_ could injure me!"

"But if you could have them back, would you want them?" Aya pressed. He was an intimidating figure – a looming, judging angel. "Even if they're painful – would you want them?"

"Yes!" he exploded.

Aya grew still, staring at him.

"Some of your memories," he said at last, speaking softly, quietly. "Contain heartache and loss and…horrors you cannot even begin to imagine. But there was also love. No one understood love like you, Yohji. Do you want to remember?"

"Of course I do."

Silence. There was something sad about Aya in that moment.

It passed quickly, the inhuman statue returning as Aya looked at him once more.

"Schuldig."

The flame haired man entered the room, and only then did Yohji realize that the bastard had been eavesdropping on him the entire time.

"Schuldig can return your memories to you if you agree to let him. But I have to be assured that you won't try to attack us if I untie you."

"What if I don't agree?"

"You said you want your memories."

"You expect me to believe that ass hole can do what doctors and modern medicine couldn't?"

"My ass hole has very little to do with the process, I assure you." the flame haired man remarked, crossing his arms. He was glaring at Yohji as if he didn't want him there.

Then why the hell had he kidnapped him?

"Schuldig is…" Aya hesitated. "Schuldig has the ability…"

"I'm a telepath."

Yohji couldn't help it. He laughed.

Then immediately regretted it, as he remember that he had been kidnapped by these people and was still, in fact, tied up.

The flame haired man looked angry, but Aya was just pale.

Slowly, the smaller redhead smiled. He slid out of his chair and crossed to Yohji, kneeling as he began to untie him.

"What are you doing?" the flame haired man demanded, suddenly dropping his arms and taking a step forward. "He hasn't agreed yet!"

"Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've heard him laugh?" Aya asked quietly.

As soon as he was free, Yohji was on his feet, prepared to make a run for it.

It seemed that the flame haired one was instantly before him. Yohji didn't have time to wonder at how it was even possible for him to move so quickly before the other man grabbed his face up in his hands.

There was a strange pressure in his head, and then a sudden, dizzying feeling. He saw spots.

The next thing he knew, there were arms around him and he was pressed to an unfamiliar chest.

"What the hell happened?"

Aya's voice came from far away, which meant that it was the wicked one who was now holding him. Yohji tried to pull away, only to find his limbs utterly unresponsive.

"Stay still; you'll hurt yourself."

"Schuldig…"

A sigh.

"_Veilchen_, we have a…problem."

"A problem." Aya repeated.

"Your Kudoh does not have amnesia, kitty."

A hand began to pull slowly through his hair and Yohji began to struggle for movement.

He did not hear the warnings that he needed to stop before he hirt himself. He did not hear Aya's voice pleading for him to stop.

Darkness closed in.

* * *

"Another telepath?"

Schuldig nodded, chewing thoughtfully on a thumbnail.

"His injuries left no permanent damage; someone went in and deliberately removed his memories."

"Stronger than you?"

"_Veilchen_, no one is stronger than me," he snorted. "But whoever did it was sneaky. He didn't want anyone else bringing out all these memories after they were hidden. There are…barriers."

"Barriers." Aya repeated.

"I can get past them…I think. But it will take time and patience – things I do not believe any of us to be in ready supply of." Schuldig hesitated a moment before reaching for him, brushing his fingertips against his cheek.

Aya closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

"Why do I feel so tired, Schu?"

Schuldig found himself smiling at the new nickname, idly wondering if Aya even realized that he was using it. He had been struck with terror ever since he'd first seen Kudoh in the grocery store, but Aya had yet to pull away from him.

"You've had a rough day, _Veilchen_. A lot of big emotional ups and downs."

"Why does everything have to be so difficult?"

"I don't know."

Aya opened his eyes, glancing at the blonde man asleep in the bed. After Yohji had passed out, they had moved him to Aya's room. The small redhead hadn't slept there since becoming Schuldig's lover anyway, so it was free.

"Is it wrong, Schu?"

"Aya?"

"I hurt him so much…pushed him to the edge. It was a nightmare." His hand drifted up to the thin, barely noticeable scar that still encircled his neck – a permanent mark left by the bite of Yohji's wire.

"Maybe it's kinder that he doesn't remember."

"No."

Aya looked at him sharply, surprised by his flat-out refusal of the idea.

Schuldig took his hand in his, kissing his fingers gently.

"Schuldig?"

"For years and years all my choices were taken from me, Aya. Whoever has stolen Balinese's memories has also stolen his choices. If you hurt him, then he deserves the choice of whether or not to forgive you."

"You'll help me, Schuldig?"

"Always. Even if…"

"Schu?"

He leaned in and kissed him.

"Never mind."

Aya looked at Yohji again, a stillness overcoming him that bespoke his worry.

"How long will he be out?"

"At least another twenty-four hours, kitty. I had to put him under to keep him from hurting himself…you should get some rest, Aya."

Nodding, he rose.

"This door locks from the outside, doesn't it?"

"Yes."

"Then come to bed with me, and we'll lock this door…"

"You're sure?"

"I need you to help me take my mind off this."

* * *

When Yohji awoke, he found himself lying on an unfamiliar bed inside an unfamiliar room.

He could only thank whatever gods might be listening that he was still wearing his clothes.

He sat up slowly, looking around, and was grateful to find himself alone.

Even more slowly he slid from the bed, eyes locked on the door as he crossed the room. He reached for the handle –

And it began to turn.

He took a step back, terrified, as the door opened.

The flame haired man seemed momentarily surprised to see him up, but the expression quickly smoothed itself away from his wicked features.

"You see, _Veilchen_?" he called behind him playfully. "I didn't do permanent damage, after all!"

He entered the room and Yohji fell back, trying to think of any and all possible escape routes. Aya followed him into the room, as cold and unreadable as he'd been before.

"You two just keep your distance!" Yohji warned nervously, unable to laugh off his fear when he was in a bedroom alone with two _men_ who had _kidnapped_ him.

He actually jumped as the door closed. The flame haired one _laughed_.

"No need to be so fearful, _Sonnenschein_. We aren't going to hurt you."

"Sonnen…?"

"'Sunshine'." Aya supplied, crossing to sit on the bed. He looked up at Yohji with cold eyes. "And we're here to get a start on your memories – unless you can't remember _that_, either."

"Why the hell does he have to have a pet name for me?"

"Not 'he.' Schuldig. My name is Schuldig." the flame haired man moved to sit next to Aya on the bed, his movements strangely sensual. He wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller man and began to nuzzle his neck.

Yohji began easing toward the door.

"Do you really think you can make it?" Schuldig asked.

Yohji remembered how quickly he'd moved before, and froze.

"Stop teasing him." Aya ordered, moving away.

"Look, can't you freaks just let me g - ?"

Yohji cut off with a gasp. He was whirling, soaring, tumbling. Suddenly he was a child, sitting on the lap of a soft, sweet-smelling woman who held him and hummed softly under her breath as she rocked him gently back and forth.

Too soon, it seemed, he was back in the bedroom, staring at the two men on the bed.

Schuldig smirked.

"Still don't believe I can do it, _Sonnenschein_?" he teased as Yohji stared. "You want some more?"

"Y…yes, please."

For a moment, it almost looked like Aya was about to smile.

* * *

To Be Continued

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**CaT70** - (humming innocently)

**silverfox** - "Him"? You've got Schu pouting in a corner now, and I can't get him to come out. Look! You hurt his feelings.

**GuiltyAmethyst** - Hee...

**AyaLover** - lol

**Brown-eye'd girl** - ohhhh! Thank you very much! I'm flattered.


	9. Concerns

This is just one of those little chapters that pacing requires.

_

* * *

Girls like her were viscious, venemous creatures, fourteen-year-old Yohji Kudoh decided, holding his stinging cheek in his hand._

_The bitch hadn't had to _slap_ him!_

_Giving his gaping friends at the lunch table a grin, Yohji laughed and turned his attention back to the untouched tray of food before him._

"_She didn't really think you were serious about her, did she?"_

_He joined in the laughter at the table, meanwhile trying to ignore the memory of the girl's tear-streaked face as she confronted him about his relationship with one of her friends._

"_That's the problem with high school girls," he sighed, ignoring the sudden twinge of guilt. "They take everything so _seriously_! They need to learn to calm down and have a little fun! We're too damn young to be worrying about _commitment_."_

_More laughter from the boys at the table. Yohji dated only girls who were high school seniors, sometimes several at a time, and he always managed to go all the way._

_He was their god – and he liked it that way._

* * *

Yohji blinked as the memory began to gently fade away, almost surprised to find himself face-to-face with a pretty, flame haired man.

"Why'd you stop?"

"A small break, Kudoh, all right?"

"I thought Aya wanted some kind of a rush on this."

Without answering, Schuldig rose quickly from his chair.

Yohji settled back in his own chair, allowing himself to leisurely shift through the new memories he had acquired today. It felt so good, so _right_, to have a past. He even loved the bad memories, for the very fact that they existed.

It was as if a hole in his heart that he hadn't even known existed was slowly filling up.

Abruptly, Schuldig rounded on him with a stream of angry German words.

"What?"

"You…you…!" with a frustrated sound, the telepath threw his hands into the air and stalked back to his seat. "It isn't _fair_, Kudoh!"

"What isn't fair?"

"I am working – tirelessly! – to restore your memories to that empty head of yours because _Aya_ asked me to. He loves you so strongly, so desperately, so…_blindly_ – and you certainly don't deserve it! And the moment you remember your relationship with him, _you'll_ be back in his head, and I…"

"Look – I don't care if he loves me; I'm not interested in men."

"Yohji Kudoh would fuck anything that would stand still long enough to let him," he answered, glaring up at the ceiling.

"Doesn't he love _you_? You sleep together, don't you?"

A derisive snort.

"Oh yes, S_onnenschein_, he loves me. He loves me every bit as much as he loved you. But between mourning your death and now, suddenly, your return – not to mention the pain of past regrets and the knowledge that he has been forgotten – he will never _realize_ that he loves me. He is blind to everything but you."

"Are you…pouting?"

Schuldig's eyes blazed, furious – but also frightened.

"You don't deserve his love."

"And you do?"

"No. But I, at least, recognize that!" he answered furiously. "You'll just take your memories and his love and go back to your happy life with him, never appreciating the sublime pain that he has suffered for you!"

Yohji stared at him and slowly began to realize that Aya and Schuldig were not "dating," at last not to the telepath. Schuldig was head over heels, obsessively in love with the smaller, quieter redhead.

"Look," he hissed quietly, "You can have him, all right? I just want my memories; I don't care about him!"

Schuldig gave a small, bitter laugh.

Before anything else could be said, the telepath grabbed hold of his mind once more. It was violent, malicious, and startling. Yohji found himself thrown back into his memories with absolutely no preparation.

Before he slipped completely into the him of the past, he couldn't help but to feel a brief flash of respect.

Schuldig would be a difficult opponent to tangle with.

* * *

_Yohji was nearly sixteen when he had his first sexual experience with another man. He hadn't been drunk, hadn't been high. He'd just been curious – and pissed as hell at one of his current girlfriends._

_Taro Noda was a classmate and a friend. His kind, cheerful personality had gotten him accepted into their social group despite his sexual preference._

_Yohji had felt an attraction to him from the very beginning, and that night he had decided to make a move._

_Taro was helping him with his math, tutoring him. They were up in Taro's room, his parents downstairs, his sister in the next room._

_It had been a spur of the moment kind of thing. An experimental kiss that led to much, much more. Searching hands, curious mouths._

_A decision he had never regretted._

Yohji spilled from the memory slowly, surprising himself by how he enjoyed it, how alluring the thought of hard, muscled skin under his lips and fingertips.

From across the room, Schuldig gave him a slow, knowing smirk.

"Still pining for that wife of yours?" he taunted.

"Bastard."

"Want some more? We can get even more X-rated if you'd like. You've slept with a hell of a lot of people – we could do a compare/contrast. See which gender you _really_ prefer."

"Go to hell!"

Schuldig laughed.

* * *

The bar had been busier than usual, and Aya found himself pulling into the driveway much later than he'd expected.

He walked quietly through the house, not wanting to wake either of the other men that lived there, and undressed in the dark before sliding into bed.

Immediately the other body in the bed shifted, and a long, strong arm was thrown around him. Lips pressed gently against his temple as he was pulled into a warm, familiar embrace.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"I don't sleep while you're gone."

A snort.

"Liar."

The arms around him shifted and pulled him tighter. Schuldig pressed a kiss against his shoulder.

"How are things going with Yohji?" Aya asked after some hesitation.

A sigh.

"Things are…progressing. I think."

"Schu?"

"Yes, _Veilchen_?"

"Am I doing the right thing?"

Silence a moment.

"No, kitty, you are not." Schuldig answered at last. "But if you take off the rest of your clothes, I would be happy to show you what you _should_ be doing."

"Don't."

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Aya."

"If you're tired of talking about it and you don't want to bother with me anymore, then just say so, all right, Schuldig?"

"If you're going to doubt my feelings for you, _Veilchen_, then we're going to have an argument." Schuldig warned as he shifted to pin Aya onto his back.

"I wasn't - !"

"Thinking that I would ever say such things shows just how much you _are_ doubting me. I love you. There is _nothing_ you could ask of me that I would deny you – and that includes restoring your former lover to you!"

Schuldig's eyes were so honest in that moment that Aya knew he had no choice but to believe him.

"I'm sorry."

"So then? What are you worried about now?"

"Am I doing the right thing?"

"By Kudoh, I assume?" he sighed.

"Yes."

Schuldig laid his head down against Aya's shoulder, his weight a familiar and comforting warmth.

"Truthfully, we both know that I am not the one you should ask…" he mumbled, lips soft against Aya's skin. "My sense of right and wrong is…skewed."

"But what do you think?" he pressed.

"Why are you having such doubts? This is the only way to get him back."

"Schu…I hurt Yohji. A lot. He…he _wanted_ to forget me. By the end…I had broken him." Absently, Aya reached to finger the thin scar that still encircled his neck. He only did that when worried about Kudoh. "He said he's happy now. He's married and he has a new life. Shouldn't…shouldn't I leave him alone? Let him have his peace?"

"Absolutly not."

"Schu?"

"We've _had_ this conversation, _Veilchen_!"

"But…"

Sighing, Schuldig raised his head to look down on him, giving him a gentle smile. "If, when this is all over, he decides that he would rather forget again, I'll let him," he promised. "But he has the right to choose, _Veilchen_."

"What if he already has?"

"No – the way the barrier was made makes it quite clear that it was done against his will. Kudoh's mind was fighting the entire time."

"Still…"

"Aya, he needs to remember. Whether to forgive you or not is his decision, isn't it?"

"And what if he doesn't forgive me?"

"You'll still have your Schuldig."

A long silence passed between them. Aya snuggled closer to Schuldig, silently begging the telepath to hold him more tightly.

The flame haired German was only too happy to oblige.

Aya closed his eyes reluctantly, certain that his sleep would continue to be haunted by his doubts and worries.

"Aya…"

He ignored his lover's scolding voice, feigning sleep.

"Aya, you'll never get any rest this way. Can't you save some of that worry for daylight?"

"Dawn is in less than two hours."

A sigh.

Then Schuldig moved – a gentle breeze across his mind., lulling him into peace.

"Bastard…" Aya mumbled.

Schuldig's laughter was the last thing he heard before sleep overtook him.

* * *

The voices in the bedroom having at last quieted, Yohji Kudoh rose slowly from his crouched position in the hallway.

He had gotten up to get a drink of water, and had hidden when he'd heard Aya return from work – the last thing he'd wanted to do was get stuck talking to the cold, frightening man.

But Aya had left the bedroom door slightly ajar when he had gone in, and Yohji had been unwilling to risk getting caught sneaking past. When the two men inside the bedroom had begun to discuss _him_, he's found himself crouching by the door, straining to listen.

It was…strange.

Aya was normally so frozen, so silent. He didn't smile or laugh, rarely spoke.

It was strange to hear his quiet, usually cold voice speak human words of concern – strange to be faced with such proof that the man _was_ human.

He had told Yohji that they had been lovers, but it had been something difficult for the man to accept – not just because he preferred women (which he wasn't so sure of anymore, anyway) but because it was so strange to think of _Aya_ with anyone.

But he slept with Schuldig, didn't he?

And how could he claim to love Yohji if he was with the telepath?

It was all too strange to consider.

* * *

To Be Continued

I might not be able to update next Monday. I've got a party to host this Saturday, and papers due Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, so I'm not sure how time will work out.

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**moimoi-chan** - Only one "e" in that squee?

**silverfox** - he says he's okay for now. But he'll be watching you. (Bad Schu!)

**arcanelight** - Yay for new readers - welcome to the party! Aaaah! A Schu/Aya fan? (Glomps!) Thankies!

**glinwulf **- nodsnodsnods

**CaT70** - I think he has the right to be a little nervous, given the situation...

**steffi** - thanks!

If I missed any review response this time, please don't be offended! FF refused to send them to my inbox for like three days, and I'm afriad I might have lost one or two!


	10. The First Step

Yohji froze as he entered the study and he stared in open-mouthed surprise at the small redhead who occupied the desk chair.

"Where's…?"

"I sent Schuldig to the grocery store. He should be gone for at least another hour." Aya's voice was as unreadable as ever, his gaze sharp. "Sit down, Yohji."

"I really don't…"

"Yohji."

He sat.

Aya allowed silence to pass between them, staring at him as if, by the act of staring, he could force him into remembering him. Yohji boldly stared back.

Aya was a beautiful man, really. Beautiful no matter what his gender. His pale skin looked incredibly smooth that Yohji couldn't help but to wonder how it felt. His eyes were so very deep and dark in his face, making him appear heart wrenchingly delicate.

He was perfect the way a statue was perfect, though. Beautiful, but impossible to love.

And incapable of loving.

Aya said that he loved him – but how could it ever be possible for him to _feel_ anything, much less something so complicated, so overwhelming, so…

"You know that Schuldig has been keeping me informed of your progress?" Aya asked, drawing Yohji from his thoughts.

"Uh, yeah, I guess…"

"In the memories, you're now a private investigator…having an affair with your partner, Asuka, correct?"

"Yeah. You know, it's really strange. My wife's name is…"

Something that could only be described as pain flashed through Aya's eyes. The redhead ducked his head quickly, and a long silence passed once more. Yohji realized that the smaller man was using the time to compose himself.

"Aya…?"

"Do you want to go home, Yohji?"

"Home? I don't…I mean, I thought the whole point of this was so that I could remember you?"

"You now remember your childhood, your school days, your family. From this point forward, the good memories will be few and far in between."

"Even the ones of you?"

"Especially the ones of me."

Yohji allowed himself a moment to think about it. When he spoke, he chose his words carefully.

"I want my memories, Aya. _All_ of them. But…I miss my wife. I love her…and she's gotta be worried about me by now."

A sharp, tight nod.

"Fine, then. I'll take you home today. Watch so that you'll know the way back if…if you choose to return for your other memories."

"Aya…"

Uncurling from his chair, Aya rose quickly.

"Come on."

* * *

"Why do they call you Aya?"

It had been too quiet in the car for far too long, and Yohji was uneasy. Seeking some form of conversation, the blonde had blurted the first thing that had come to mind.

"What do you mean?" the redhead asked quietly.

"Your parents didn't really name you Aya, did they? It's a girl's name."

"My name was Ran."

"Ran?"

"Now it's Aya."

"But why?"

Silence.

Aya came to a stop at a red light.

"Where do I turn?" he asked at last?"

Yohji stared at him, but knew somehow that Aya would not say anything more on the subject.

"Next right," he sighed at last.

* * *

Yohji had barely gotten out of the car before Aya was peeling out of the driveway without a word of goodbye.

The blonde stared after the car until he could no longer see it, wondering if he'd ever see the small redhead again. The thought that he might not…hurt. A little.

Yohji sighed, mentally kicking himself. He had wanted to leave, hadn't he? Those freaks had kidnapped him. And he wasn't attracted to men anyway…even if that didn't seem to be exactly true anymore. Even if he did have some rather explicit memories of sleeping with a few.

_Make up your mind. Are you glad to see him go, or aren't you?_

He almost wanted to pretend that the question in his mind had been placed there by Schuldig, but he knew it wasn't true. Those doubts were his own.

Yohji shook his head and headed up the front steps, knocking on the door as he tried to remember what he had done with his keys.

When Asuka opened the door, she only blinked at him, eyes wide with surprise.

"Yohji!"

"Asuka, baby – I'm home."

He grinned, all other thoughts falling away as he lifted his bride into his arms and barreled into the house.

It was good to be home.

* * *

Schuldig returned from his shopping trip to find his lover in the room Yohji had been using, sitting on the bed with his knees drawn up, his mind a dark and painful thing that lashed out at him with claw and fang.

"_Vielchen_?"

Aya did not look up at the sound of his voice, nor did he show any other indication that he even knew he was there.

But he did answer.

"I took Yohji home today."

"_Aya…_"

In mere seconds, Schuldig was across the room, his arms around Aya as the man broke down and began to sob.

* * *

"Hello?" the voice on the other line was drowsy, and maybe a little annoyed.

She really didn't give a shit.

"It's me."

Silence a long moment.

"Ah, Asuka." the voice on the other end greeted with a cheerfulness she was certain was not real. "How pleasant to hear from you at…one in the morning. I assume this call means he has returned?"

"He has."

"Good, good."

"Listen, Takat - "

"Has he said anything about where he's been?" he interrupted.

"No, he won't tell me a thing."

"Did you try to…persuade…him?"

"Yes," she sighed, rubbing her tired eyes. "I've tried everything he likes – even things I normally won't do. He won't tell me!"

"Keep trying, then," he answered, sounding both tired and vaguely threatening. "Good ni - "

"I want more money."

Silence.

"Excuse me?"

Squeezing her eyes shut, she fought the fear that rose up within her when his voice sounded like that.

"More money, Mamoru! I want more money!"

"…we had an agreement, Asuka."

"I change my name and pretend to fall in love with some guy who can't even remember his own birthday. Yeah, that's fine, Mamoru, but things are different now." she clutched the phone tightly, afraid of losing her nerve. "When he went missing, the ladies in the neighborhood began to talk."

"We warned you that he may be unfaithful."

"If I'm going to suffer their whispers and pity, then I need more money!"

This time the silence was more thoughtful than anything else. A muffled voice asked a question on the other line, and Asuka idly found herself wondering who was sharing her employer's bed.

At last the man sighed.

"Look – I have a very important meeting very early in the morning. Can we wait and discuss this at our usual monthly meeting?"

"On Tuesday?"

"Yes."

"O…okay."

"Thank you. Goodnight."

"Ah…yes. Goodnight, then…"

She hung up the phone and stared at it a long while before, with a sigh, turning to get some sleep.

She froze at the feel of eyes on her, and slowly she glanced at her "sleeping" husband.

Emerald green eyes closed and Yohji rolled over, giving her his back.

* * *

In the morning, he was gone.

Asuka leapt quickly from their marriage bed, and soon discovered that Yohji's clothes were missing from the closet, though his car was still in the garage. His wallet, too, lay in its habitual spot atop the dresser, along with his keys.

There was no note, no sign of any goodbye.

It was just…gone.

Dread deep in her belly, Asuka quickly dialed her employer's number, praying that she could think of some way to explain her carelessness.

"I…is Taketori-san there?"

* * *

The next day, Aya acted as if nothing were wrong. His mind remained dark and cold, however, it was no longer the howling inferno of pain that it had been after he took Yohji home.

He insisted that he was fine, and refused to discuss the matter further.

In an attempt to take his mind off what he refused to admit was troubling him, Schuldig offered to take Aya out.

The concept of dining out bore no response, and Aya's mind actually recoiled at the suggestion of a club or a movie.

At last Schuldig decided that they would just take a drive and talk for as long as Aya would let them.

Aya didn't seem too inclined to indulge him on the "talking" part, but agreed to come along for the ride. At last, when night was slowly and softly falling around them, Schuldig stopped at a playground.

Aya obligingly got out of the car and followed Schuldig, sitting down next to him on one of the swings.

The early evening air was cool and fresh, and Schuldig, at least, was glad to be out of the house.

Aya surprised him by reaching out and taking his hand.

"Thank you, Schuldig."

* * *

They stayed at the park for another two hours, swaying gently on the swings and holding hands, completely silent. Aya freely let Schuldig into his mind, closing his eyes as the telepath delicately soothed away his hurt with a gentle mental touch like a soft breeze across his mind.

By the time they rose to leave, Aya's mind was not nearly so dark a place to be.

Schuldig kissed him, then got into the car to drive home.

Aya at last, quietly, admitted that he was hungry, and Schuldig swung by an open-all-night drive through.

"Do you want to eat in the car?"

"No," Aya answered quietly. "I want to go home."

Schuldig smiled.

When they got out of the car at the house, Aya grabbed hold of Schuldig and pulled him close, trapping himself against the car as Schuldig eagerly responded to his silent request, kissing him deeply and soundly.

Aya was so sweetly pliant, so quietly needy. Schuldig smirked against his lover's mouth as he set the bag of fast food to rest atop the car so he would have both hands free.

Aya's arms had already gone around him, his hands buried deep in Schuldig's hair, pulling him, forcing him where he wanted him. The hint of violence to Aya's passion had always been deliciously exciting to the telepath.

Schuldig forced Aya's shirt up, splaying his hands across his smooth, taunt abdomen, kneeling so he could gain better access to his perfect, alabaster skin.

Aya stopped him as he tried to go lower, and pulled him back to his feet and against his body.

"Let's go inside," he requested.

Schuldig's smirk only grew as he abruptly caught Aya up into his arms.

"That _wasn't_ what I had in mind." Aya glared.

"Grab the food!" Schuldig laughed.

Aya sighed, but did as asked, grabbing up the bad of food and reluctantly allowing Schuldig to carry him to the house.

Schuldig froze on the walkway, staring at the lone figure that sat on the front steps.

Yohji Kudoh looked up slowly, eyes weary, and Schuldig quickly put Aya down.

"I want my memories." the blonde man rasped without preamble.

Aya took two steps toward him, then stopped.

"How long have you been waiting here?"

A humorless smile.

"All-_fuckin_-day."

"What about your wife?" Aya's voice was so cold and sharp, as if Yohji were some small child in need of discipline.

There was no mistaking the flash of hurt in Yohji's eyes though.

"Asuka…Asuka is…" the blonde hesitated, then looked past Aya to Schuldig. "You said my memories had been _purposefully_ tampered with. That someone who knew what they were doing came in and stole my memories."

"_Ja_."

A deep breath.

Yohji closed his eyes.

"Someone paid Asuka to marry me." he said quietly, voice a rasp as he fought down rising emotions. He gave a small, bitter laugh. "Hell, _Asuka_ isn't even her real name. They paid her to change it, too."

"Yohji?"

He shook his head, expression filled with pain.

"The name of my old partner, right? My lover."

"Yes." Aya whispered. This time, speaking earned him Yohji's full, burning attention.

"Someone went to one hell of a lot of trouble to make me forget – and to give me the kind of life they thought would make me happy." Yohji stated, steel in his eyes. "Aya…Schuldig…I want to know _why_. I want my memories; I want to be me again. And once I am, I want to find the bastard responsible for this and make him _pay_."

Aya approached him at last, reaching out to touch Yohji's hair.

"We'll help you," he promised quietly.

* * *

To Be Continued

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**guiltyamethyst** - he actually has a wife in cannon, at the end of Gluhen. I wouldn't be that twisted if I didn't have an excuse for it. (grin)

**Moon without a Sun** - I finished writing this this weekend (something like 24 chapters, I think...) Anyway, trust me when I say that there will be plenty so squee about.

**arcanelight** - LOL. Schu loves you for those thoughts.


	11. Distraction

Some of you are going to feel that I'm going too slowly with the memories. Some things that are highly anticipated won't be occurring for ten more chapters. All I can say is that I tried to make things happen faster (such as Yohji mentioning the name he had overheard) but it didn't work. I must follow pacing's orders. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. This fic is 26 chapters and an epilogue long. Final count.

* * *

Yohji, now desperate for the return of his memories, had begun pushing both himself and Schuldig. The deeper into his mind they traveled, however, the more difficult the barrier was proving itself to be. Yohji and Schuldig both would come out of their sessions exhausted, but they _were_ making progress, and that was all that mattered to the now-determined blonde.

Sometimes Aya would sit in with them, though the man had returned to being cold and unreadable once more.

This morning, when Yohji came down for breakfast, he found the other men sitting at the table, deep in conversation. They looked up when he walked in, both wearing solemn expressions.

"What?" he asked, feeling an odd note of fear.

"Yohji – sit down." Aya requested.

Warily, he did as asked, pulling out a chair an equal distance from both men. Sometimes, rarely, he could almost believe that Aya cared for him – but the man still frightened him more often than not. As for Schuldig…he still wasn't sure what to think of the wildly unpredictable telepath.

Better to just keep his distance from the both of them.

"What's going on?" he asked when neither made a move to speak.

"It's the beginning of the end." Aya answered.

Schuldig rolled his eyes. "So morbid, _Veilchen_." he mumbled.

"I don't understand." Yohji said.

Silence. Aya was as frozen as ever, but Yohji thought that the man might be upset about something. Something about the twist to his mouth, the furrow to his eyebrows. Schuldig was uncharacteristically subdued.

"Schuldig has kept me aware of the memories he returns to you." Aya said at last. "I have viewed many of them myself."

"You've…been _watching_ my memories?" he demanded, rising.

"Sit down!" Schuldig snapped.

Aya's eyes were cold. "I know you don't believe me," he said quietly, "But there was a time when there was nothing we would keep from each other. The man you were would not mind if I saw these things…forgive me for forgetting how much has changed. Even if you did have your memories, there's a good chance that you wouldn't want me in your mind. But you have to believe that I want to help you, even if you doubt my love for you."

Yohji stared at him, finding himself unable to respond.

Aya was the first to look away.

"There are things you told me when we were lovers, Yohji," he stated coldly. "By following your memories, I can pretty well track when Schuldig will reach one of the most important and traumatic events of your life. I want to try to prepare you for those memories."

Yohji nodded, feeling dumb. He could still not think of a single thing to say to the cold redhead.

"We're going to take today off, _Sonnenschein_. Tonight I'll give you the memory…you can spend the weekend mourning."

Yohji looked at Schuldig and quietly agreed. There was no mistaking the relief that filled Aya's eyes as he quickly rose and left the table.

* * *

Yohji shook his head as they entered the small video store. The way Schuldig talked about Aya – it was as if he was describing a completely different man than the cold, emotionless redhead. Aya was beautiful, but he was nothing more than a living statue. There was no way he could really love Yohji.

And how Schuldig – or anyone – could be with him was a mystery. How did the man make love to such a frozen creature, however lovely that creature was?

And what was someone as vibrant and lively as Schuldig doing with someone like Aya in the first place?

In an attempt to lighten the dark mood around the house, Schuldig had suggested that they rent some movies and spend a few hours enjoying themselves before he gave Yohji the memories that seemed to so terrify Aya.

Aya had declined to go with them, but had requested a title that sounded foreign.

Yohji was just glad to get out of the house.

"Kudoh," Schuldig stopped him. "He _does_ love you." he said, continuing an argument that had been raging for the entire duration of their car ride from the house. Schuldig had spent the time singing loudly and badly to the radio, inturrupting himself often and annoyingly with comments about his lover to the point where Yohji had almost wanted to jump out of the car.

"That's why he still sleeps with you, right?" Yohji demanded, shaking his head again. "I'm sick of talking about Aya, all right?"

Not waiting for a response, Yohji walked away to look at movies, hoping for a few moments alone.

He was in the action section, trying to decide which of the two movies that had caught his eye contained the most explosions, when he had the distinct and disturbing feeling that someone was watching him.

Scowling, he turned, expecting to find Schuldig there with his cocky smirk and some teasing comment.

Instead, it was a strange man with dark brown hair and blue eyes.

The creep, rather than look away at being caught staring, actually smiled at him.

Yohji returned to trying to select a movie.

A few moments passed and he knew that the jerk was still standing there, still staring.

"What's your problem, asshole?" he demanded at last, spinning to face him once more.

"I'm sorry…Yohji? It…it _is_ you, isn't it?"

"He certainly isn't a ghost!" Yohji jumped at the sudden, purring sound of Schuldig's voice as the telepath came up behind him and placed a hand almost territorially on his shoulder. The look he gave the man was cool. "So nice to see you alive and well, Siberian."

The man blanched. "Mastermind! What…what are you doing with…?"

A light shrug. Schuldig's voice was quiet and careless. Somehow, Yohji knew that that was when the man was at his most dangerous.

"Being helpful, of course."

"Like hell."

Schuldig shrugged again, his habitual mocking smile returning.

"Do you have a number or something, Siberian? Abyssinian will want it if he finds out we saw you."

"You – you've seen _Aya_?"

"You could say that...You could say that I've seen a _lot_ of him."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, bastard?"

Schuldig laughed as the stranger's face flushed, and Yohji grew very still as he felt the telepath's arm side around his shoulders.

"Still so immature," he tsked. "So easy to bother. Meanwhile, it hasn't even occurred to you that the last time you saw Balinese, he was at death's door."

"Omi told me he had died, but…what did you do to him, bastard?"

"Wasn't me. I really am being helpful. A number – you got one, or should I just tell Aya that you didn't want to see him?"

The stranger continued to stare at Yohji.

"He doesn't know who I am, does he?" he asked Schuldig.

"He remembers nothing."

"What happened to him?"

Yohji ducked out from under Schuldig's arm, glaring at both men.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here. Assholes."

The stranger blinked, began to grin, then quickly stifled the expression. "You're still the same Yohji." he muttered.

"Freaks," Yohji snorted. He snatched away the movies Schuldig had chosen. "Give me your wallet."

"My…?"

"I'm not paying for these."

"I wasn't planning to pay at all, _Sonnenschein_."

Yohji glared.

Finally Schuldig sighed. Then smirked.

"It's in my back pocket," he stated, placing both hands atop his head. "Take it if you want it."

"You think I won't?"

The bastard only continued to smirk.

Yohji strengthened every ounce of his resolve and went for the wallet. He could literally _feel_ the stranger gaping at him as he did so.

He shoved Schuldig into a wall of movies as the telepath began to laugh.

"Nice meeting you, whoever you are," he told the stranger. Schuldig was still laughing, so he swung a kick at his shin. "I'll wait in the car. Bastard."

Schuldig's laughter only grew more hysterical.

Yohji flicked him off as he moved toward the check out counter.

* * *

"Who the hell was that man?"

Schuldig turned his head away to hide his smile as he slid into the car. He'd known that Kudoh wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut.

"Where's my wallet?"

Yohji grabbed it up off the dashboard and tossed it carelessly at him.

"Answer the question, ass monkey."

"You _do_ come up with the most creative insults."

"Schuldig!"

He started the car and began backing out of the parking spot.

"What will you give me if I tell you?"

"Stop it. I'm sick of your fucking games."

"You almost sound jealous, _Sonnenshein_."

"Fine. Don't tell me. I'll just ask Aya."

"Good. You _should_ talk to him more often."

"Nag."

Schuldig sighed, fun draining away. What the hell was he doing? Did he really love Aya so much that he would risk losing him just to make him happy? Had he actually attempted to give advice to his rival?

The answer to the last two questions was a resounding yes.

"His name is Ken Hidaka. He is an old associate of ours."

"Ours, meaning…?"

"Yours. Mine. Aya's."

There was silence in the car for a long moment.

"How did we know each other, Schuldig?" Yohji asked at last. "Aya and I were lovers. That's weird, but it explains a lot. But how did I know you? How did Aya? Or that other guy?"

Schuldig frowned.

"I'm afraid I must insist that you wait on your memories for the answers to _those_ questions, _Sonnenschein._"

* * *

To Be Continued

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**guiltyamethyst** - happy to make you happy.

**Schuldig **- (pats head) But you got to have fun teasing kittens this chapter! Better?

**Acesha **- I think you and Akira are in the minority now, but...Ooh! Cookies!

**Moon without a Sun** - thanks!

**glinwulf** - (grin)

**arcanelight **- Okay; I will take it complimentary. Well, it's looking like 26 chapters now. That's a little better, ne?

**CaT70** - (laughs) Gee...I haven't written a het lemon in years. Yaoiness is so much hotter...


	12. Asuka

Edit: I realized while doing my unsigned review resoponse that there were a bunch of reviews that never got sent to my inbox. If you sent a signed review last chapter and didn't get a response, please don't be sad! It's ff's fault because I didn't recieve them - I would never just not respond! I love you guys too much!

* * *

Receiving the memories had been like reliving the event all over again.

A woman he loved more dearly than life itself – the _only_ person he had ever loved.

The only one to touch his heart.

Her death had been too quick, too brutal. In an instant, he had lost her forever. Her light, her fire, her voice – everything was gone and he would never get it back.

Schuldig took him through the weeks of mourning as well, to circumvent the need to repeat them. "We don't want you moping around in depression, _Sonnenschein". _Depression had been a light choice of word for the darkness he had gone through after her death.

Weeks, months, his heartache and self-destructive behavior at last culminating in an attempt to take his own life.

And when he had woken, being approached by an organization called Krittiker, who promised him retribution if he would only agree to kill for them.

When Yohji at last came out of the memories, dawn was rising.

His eyes were dry, but his voice betrayed him as he quietly thanked Schuldig. The telepath, clearly exhausted, only nodded as he rose.

Aya had been in the room with them while Schuldig returned the memories, "keeping vigil," as he'd called it with a small, humorless smile. Sometime during the night, however, he had fallen asleep curled up in his chair. Schuldig quietly directed the smaller redhead to put his arms around his neck, and lifted him up into his arms. Without another glance at Yohji, he left, presumably heading for their bedroom.

Yohji stayed where he was, head bowed, staring at nothing.

Asuka.

The _real_ Asuka. The woman he'd loved with all his soul.

And he had forgotten her.

It wasn't his fault. Someone had stolen those memories and locked them away.

Still, now that he remembered, it was so strange that he had ever forgotten. His precious, beautiful Asuka.

"Do you hate me yet?"

He looked up, surprised to find that Aya had returned and was standing in the entrance to the study looking both solemn and sleepy.

"You should go to bed, Aya," Yohji said with a smile that he didn't feel. "You look dead on your feet; you can't have gotten any rest in that chair!"

The pale redhead wrapped his arms around himself. Other than that, there was no way to read him. His face was utterly expressionless, his voice emotionless.

"Do you hate me?" he repeated. "Do you wish that I hadn't forced you to remember?"

"It was wrong to have forgotten about her. Thank you, Aya."

Relief momentarily flashed through those deeply purple eyes.

"Does it hurt?"

"It's just a memory, and an old one, at that. But it does hurt."

A nod.

"The painful ones never stop hurting." he stated.

"How many memories hurt you, Aya?"

"All of them."

Silence passed between them for a long moment as they stared at each other. It seemed that there were millions of things that they needed to say to each other, but neither knew how to begin. Yohji wasn't even sure _what_ it was he needed to say.

"You will hate me by the time this is all over," Aya said at last, turning to go.

"Why not let me be the one to decide that?"

Aya stopped.

"I hurt you. Purposefully. I drove you to a point of desperation that neither of us thought possible."

"It can't be that bad."

"You wanted one of us to die."

"That's a little drastic, isn't it?"

Aya shook his head, a touch of irritation showing at last.

"Stubborn ass." Once more he turned to leave. Once again, Yohji stopped him.

"What do you want, Aya?"

"Want?" the smaller man repeated, not looking at him.

"You love me, right?"

"More than anything."

Yohji doubted that, but didn't try to argue. Aya was just trying to distract him.

"You love me, so you want me to remember you so that I can love you back. But you hurt me, so you don't want me to remember and hate you. Obviously, you can't have it both ways. So what do you want?"

"I don't know." Aya turned to him at last, looking more human than he ever had. "I want you to be happy, Yohji. I know that the man I knew could never be happy within the lie your life has been crafted into…but I also know that these memories won't make you happy. I don't know what to do about you."

"I guess…I guess that there isn't anything you _can_ do, except follow your own conscience."

"Conscience? No, Yohji. I don't have one of those."

"Why are you like this, Aya?"

"Like what?"

"So cold and quiet and…"

"Inhuman?"

Yohji flushed.

"Yeah."

"I'm dead." Aya answered simply.

"Were you like this before?"

"No; you made me live." Aya hesitated. "Yohji…I want you to know that I'm not expecting anything of you. You don't have to love me again, I just…the world is unbearable without Yohji Kudoh in it."

He left. This time, Yohji let him.

Aya loved him. There was no mistaking that anymore. There had been something in his eyes, though the rest of him had remained cold. Some hint of a man who had once been passionately in love – who still carried the vestiges of that relationship close to his heart.

It was too much and too painful to contemplate after just remembering Asuka.

Wearily, Yohji rose and headed for his bedroom, closing and locking the door before laying down on his bed.

Sleep was a long time coming.

* * *

"You look good."

"Liar."

Despite himself, Ken smiled.

"You never change, do you?"

"Apparently not." Aya answered without a trace of humor.

Aya did look well, but perhaps it was just the joy of seeing his old friend again that made Ken view him favorably. The man was certainly still cold, but the only time Ken had seen him any other way had been when the man had been the lover of Yohji Kudoh.

Aya's hair had grown out a little since the last time he'd seen him, though it was still short. He was paler and frailer than ever, though.

"I'm surprised that you called me. You're not usually one for social advances."

"I had to see someone from Weiss who remembers me."

"So, he really - ?"

"Yes."

"I thought he and Mastermind were only teasing me."

"If only," Aya sighed, relaxing into the conversation.

Ken could well understand the need to see someone from Weiss. Though Ken was still working as an assassin, there had been something special in the bond between their team. Not seeing his former teammates was almost painful; they all had meant too much to each other.

Aya looked up, eyes sharp.

"Did you know that he was still alive?"

"No. Omi told me that he'd died."

"Same as he told me."

"We should call him," Ken said at last. "He'll want to know that he was lied to."

"Ken. You don't think…?"

"Omi wouldn't do that!"

Aya nodded.

"I don't want to think so either. But Ken, Schuldig said that _someone_ had purposefully taken Yohji's memories. Someone made him forget us, told us he was dead, and then hired a woman to call herself 'Asuka' and seduce him."

"_What_?"

"You hadn't heard the last?"

"It _can't_ have been Omi. He wouldn't do that to us – to _you_!"

"His grandfather, then. Or someone else from Krittiker."

"Ah." chuckling, Ken sat back in his seat. "Your ulterior motive is showing."

"You do still work for them, don't you?"

"It's…complicated."

"Complicated, how?" Aya pressed.

Ken shook his head.

"I wasn't comfortable taking orders from Omi after everything – I didn't want either of us compromising a mission because we were once both Weiss."

"Go on," Aya pressed when he hesitated.

"Not really all that much to say, Aya. He set me up with a team that doesn't take orders from him. This is actually my first time back in Japan since."

"I see."

"But I'll see if I can find anything out, all right?"

"Thank you, Ken."

"So…you gonna tell Omi?"

"I don't know," Aya sighed. "I've thought about it, but...if he's involved, then we can't let him know we have Yohji."

"But he's not involved. He _can't_ be – and he deserves to know that Yohji's okay."

"Call him sometime this week." Aya ordered, voice taking on the nuances of Abyssinian. "Don't tell him about Yohji, just touch base with him. Give it a little time, then, if you're sure that he isn't involved, tell him."

"Okay," the brunette nodded. "Sounds good."

"How have you been, Ken?"

"Good," he smiled. "I'm actually happy with where my life is right now. I feel…at peace."

"Good."

"Aya?"

"Nh?"

"How in the hell did you get mixed up with a bastard like Mastermind?"

Aya stared at him a very long moment, then, abruptly, laughed.

* * *

To Be Continued

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**guiltyamethyst** - (grin). I'm happy that you're happy that I'm happy that I made you happy.

**arcanelight** - lol. Thanks.

**Schuldig** - yes, the online translator gave me something along those lines. (shakes head) Be patient. You'll have _lots_ of fun before this is over.


	13. New

This chapter marks a turning point – in the story, yes, but more importantly, in the _writing_ of this story. This chapter marks where Schuldig and Yohji began to team up against me to try to push me out of the way to force this story to go faster than I wanted it to. They failed, but they made my life hell, all the same. And Aya, damn that sneaky bastard, _helped_ them. I managed to fix the things that Yotan and Schu screwed up by rewriting each page several times, but Aya…the things he messed up, seemed to have stayed that way. I'm still pissed at him.

Really. Ya'll should pity me for putting up with those three in my head for so long! Sure all the yummy yaoiness made it worth it. But they couldn't be naked _all_ the time!

Flood has hit 200 reviews. Thanks everyone! I love you!

* * *

"_Aya-chaaaaaaan!"_

_The pretty figure on the bed jerked awake, deep, gorgeous eyes filled with confusion._

_Yohji couldn't help but to grin; he had been waiting for hours to tease the pale beauty he had discovered in his bed._

_The blonde jumped to his feet as the lovely man sat up, one hand going to his head as he winced._

"_C'mon – get up!" Yohji urged teasingly. "It's nine already, lazy ass. Go help Ken clean up the shop – there's only an hour left before opening!"_

_The young man only looked confused._

"_Where am I?" he demanded._

"_Morning to you, too, sunshine!" the blonde greeted with a snort, placing his hands on his hips. "Name's Yohji Kudoh – just call me Yohji. This is my room, and what you're laying on is my bed, so hurry up and leave already – I'm sleepy, damn it!"_

_Pushing a hand through his hair, the young man ignored the order – apparently deep in thought._

"_I was a little worried, since you were out so long," Yohji confessed cheekily. "But you seem okay now. Probably just needed some rest. Still, next time you crash in my bed, I'm gonna expect a more…_enjoyable_…thank you – if you get what I mean."_

_Those lovely violet eyes narrowed into a glare, and Yohji couldn't help but to laugh._

"_You have me at a disadvantage." Yohji pointed out. "If we're going to be teammates, don't you think you should tell me your name?"_

"_Didn't that woman already tell you?" the redhead demanded grumpily, getting out of bed._

"_Who? Birman?"_

_The young man didn't answer. Yohji slid onto the bed, feeling an odd, immature thrill that he was sitting in bed with such a beauty. It brought all kinds of interesting thoughts to mind, but he had been threatened to within an inch of his life – there would be dire consequences if he let his flirting chase off another potential Weiss._

"_They didn't tell you _anything_?" he asked gently._

"Someone_ suddenly hit me. That's it."_

_Ken._

_That idiot._

"_Look, teammates shouldn't keep things from each other," Yohji sighed. "And I have a problem trusting in things unless I hear them myself. So how about I tell you what I _do_ know, and you can fill me in on the rest."_

_The young man only looked at him. He really was quite pretty in the early morning light, though he definitely didn't seem to be the kind of person that Yohji could push._

"_I heard that you're trying to protect someone dear to you." Yohji began gently._

_The young man jerked back, immediately hostile._

"_What the hell?"_

"_I used to be a P.I." Yohji laughed, enjoying the conversation with this hostile, spirited young man._

"_How long have you been…how long have you worked for…?"_

"_About two years."_

_A snort. The young man rose and began to head for the door, but Yohji found himself suddenly unwilling to end the conversation._

"_So who's this 'Aya-chan'?" he pressed._

_The young man rounded on him with a snarl._

"_Come on – you can tell me." Yohji urged smoothly. "Does she have anything to do with that interesting earring of yours?"_

_In an instant, the redhead was across the room, gripping the front of Yohji's sweater in one trembling fist. Though his expression was full of rage, his eyes held worlds of pain._

"_That woman already told you everything, didn't she?" he demanded furiously. "Why force me to talk about it?"_

"_Was she your lover?" Yohji pressed. "No. Family? Birman hasn't said a word – you called her name in your sleep."_

_The redhead released him with a shove. Without a word, he began heading for the door._

"_You can't leave without telling me your name!" Yohji called. "What am I supposed to call you? _Aya_?"_

* * *

"I remember you."

Aya turned, startled by the sound of the familiar voice. Yohji stood in the kitchen doorway, thumbs tucked through his belt loops in a forced casual show.

"Yohji?"

"Not…not _that_." the blonde clarified awkwardly. "But I…I remember meeting you."

"Aa." Aya turned back to the dishes he's been washing, trying to hide his disappointment. "Congratulations."

Yohji was silent for a long moment. When he spoke again, his voice was both closer and quieter.

"When did we become…you know…" Yohji leaned against the counter, obviously trying to be nonchalant. "When did we become lovers?"

"Not for several years."

"Years?" Yohji repeated in disbelief.

Aya looked at him then.

"Why?" he demanded, more sharply than intended.

"It's just…" Yohji hesitated then, tentatively, reached for him. His fingertips lightly brushed Aya's hair, caressed his jaw, before he lost his nerve and let his hand drop. He looked almost guilty for daring to touch him. Uncomfortable, certainly. "I find it hard to believe it took that long." he said at last.

"Why?" he asked again.

Yohji shifted uncomfortably, and refused to meet his eyes.

"It's just…I was really attracted to you."

"From the beginning?"

"From the first moment."

Aya was suddenly, painfully, aware of how he must appear. Soapy hands, dressed in a shapeless sweater he'd found in the back of his closet…

"You didn't feel that attraction this time around though, right?"

"I did."

Aya glared at him sharply and the blonde hurried to explain himself.

"You _have _to know how beautiful you are, Aya."

He was a little more sure of himself as he reached for him again, and Aya found himself leaning into the heartbreakingly familiar touch. Yohji was clearly testing them both, trying to see if it really was attraction he felt, or the ghost of a memory. Trying to see what Aya would let him get away with. Almost anyone else would have lost at least a finger or two for trying.

"But," Yohji continued awkwardly, dropping his hand and looking away once more. He crossed his arms and glared at the floor. "Between being kidnapped and finding out about my wife…the memories, the _real_ Asuka…and the fact that, when we met this time, you felt so familiar to me, despite everything…I haven't really had the chance to think about my attraction to you. But…I _do_ think you're beautiful."

"Thank you, Yohji."

"I…want to remember more."

Aya smiled, unable to stop himself.

"Were we _really_ lovers?" Yohji asked, peeking at him with a shy and boyish smile. "You and me? Naked and sweaty and…?"

"Maybe this conversation has gone far enough."

"If I kissed you, would you hurt me?"

"You could always try it and see."

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, shocking him. _Yohji_ had always been the one to flirt, not Aya.

He felt his face inflame.

* * *

Yohji couldn't help but to stare in disbelief.

He had come to Aya because he hadn't known what else to do. Schuldig had left after their session, refusing to answer any of his questions. Yohji couldn't have stopped himself from seeking out Aya if he'd _wanted_ to.

Aya had felt familiar to him since the first moment he had seen him – but he hadn't even noticed until faced with the memory of what Aya felt like "brand new." Frightened and terrified, bound to a chair in the kitchen of a man who had kidnapped him, Yohji had felt the pull of the pretty red-haired man from the very beginning.

Remembering meeting Aya for the _first_ first time, remembering that first, electric jolt of attraction for the man…what else could Yohji do _but_ seek the man out?

He stared, dumbfounded, as a blush slowly spread across Aya's face. Cold, unreadable Aya was…

Blushing?

_Try it and see_, Aya had told him.

Irrationally nervous, Yohji stepped forward and took Aya into his arms. His arms went easily around the other man's slim waist and, for a wonder, the usually frozen man came willingly into his embrace.

Aya's body fit against his as if it had been specifically created to do so. Yohji couldn't believe how wonderful it felt to hold him. How perfect. How…

Yohji quickly released him, stepping away.

Aya only looked at him, all traces of emotion gone from his lovely face.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "I thought…didn't you want to…?"

"I can't."

"Because of your wife?"

"No." Yohji felt a stirring of pain at the reminder of the woman he loved – the woman he'd _thought_ loved him back. The fraud.

"Then why?"

"You…you're like a doll, Aya," he stated as gently as he could.

"A…doll?"

"You don't _feel_ anything – not anymore, anyway. It wouldn't be right for me to…don't look at me that way. You know it's true."

"I'm sorry. It's my fault for forgetting." Aya's voice was cold now, angry. "You don't know me anymore, and you have no desire to."

"Look, I…"

"Leave me alone."

Aya brushed past and out of the kitchen.

Yohji felt too much shame to attempt to follow.

* * *

To Be Continued

"You could always try it and see." Every time I read that line, I want to ring Aya's neck. He almost ruined _everything_, damn him. And even though in the end everything worked out the way I wanted it to, I'm still mad at him for pulling this little stunt. The bastard will continue to try to discreetly ruin me in further chapters – wait and see. And he's so much more subtle about it that Schu and Yotan…

Okay. Rant over.

Sheesh but these chapters have been short lately. Chapter 14 looks like it's longer though.

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**glinwulf** - (grins)

**surrealgreen** - welcome to the fic and thanks for reading! If you're going to take a look at the other one, don't be shy! Drop a review there, too.

**CaT70** - I actually didn't find out about that until after I begun posting this, but I decided to keep it the way I had it originally, because in my mind, that part of cannon just doesn't make sense. Surely one of the boys could have at least let him know what his name was, even if they were going to let him forget everything else. Names are too powerful.

**arcanelight** - thanks!


	14. Consequences of Bad Behavior

A warm bed, a hot laptop. A favorite but cheesy movie in the DVD player, and a glass of burgundy. Sounds like writing time to me.

I figure that this is one of those chapters that half of you are going to hate me for, and the other half will love me for. Let's read it and see if I'm right. The good news is that there's more Schu in this chapter. At least, I _think_ that's good news…if you're into sadistic telepaths, that is. And really, who isn't?

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Ignoring the question, Schuldig shook a few more pain pills from the bottle and downed them quickly with a glass of tepid water.

He wondered if the pills would even have an effect this time. He wondered how long it would take before they stopped working completely.

Whoever had hidden away Yohji's memories had been one sadistic son of a bitch. Schuldig would have even admired his work, had he not been the one trying to tear it down. The other telepath hadn't been very strong, Schuldig could easily tell, but he had been _creative_.

Schuldig was now more convinced than ever that it was Aya, specifically, the unknown telepath had wanted to keep Yohji from remembering. The walls surrounding the memories were _vicious_, and with just a glance into the blonde's mind, Schuldig could see that the barriers on Yohji's memories of Weiss were _nothing_ when compared to what lay beyond.

He was terrified of attacking those barriers.

At the same time, the challenge of it…excited him.

Aya loved them both, but his uncertainty over the morality of his actions made him week. If Schuldig claimed that he was unable to continue with the sessions, he was sure that Aya would let him quit.

But he didn't want to stop – and not just because of his love for Aya.

The difficulty, the challenge – hell, even the _pain_ of releasing these memories made the young telepath feel more alive than he had since leaving Esset.

At last Schuldig turned around, leaning his rear against the counter and crossing his arms. He'd thought the kitchen was empty when he'd come down to get some pain meds (leaving Aya safely asleep – and completely oblivious to the pain the memories caused him – upstairs in their bed.)

Finding Kudoh sitting at the kitchen table made him glad he'd put on some clothes before coming downstairs.

Yohji had seen the show before, of course, and Schuldig was certainly not the most modest man in the world – but even he knew better than to parade around the fact that he was still sleeping with Aya. Not when he was trying so hard to give Yohji _back_ to the man.

He didn't want to think about the mess he'd gotten himself entangled in – much less contemplate the inevitable day when Aya would no longer have use for him.

"Why didn't I tell you what, Kudoh?" he asked with a tired sigh.

"_Aya_…"

"You knew you once loved him."

"But…"

"Now you remember being attracted to him? What – you weren't before?"

"Of course I was! What am I – stone?"

"Then what's the big deal?"

"I don't _know_! I…I can't stop thinking about him."

"So join the club." Schuldig snorted.

"But it wasn't like this before!"

"Your soul recognized him, _Sonnenschein_, and so you didn't feel the need to waste time wondering why you were attracted to him. Now he feels brand new, so it bothers you." Schuldig downed the rest of his water, grimacing at the flat taste. "I'm going back to bed."

"I think I pissed him off."

"Not a difficult thing to do, trust me."

"No, I mean _really_ pissed him off."

Schuldig paused in the doorway, but knew he had to answer.

"He'll forgive you," he promised quietly. _He always has_.

* * *

_Aya was pissed as hell at him right now, and even a brain-dead monkey would know that it would not be a good idea for one Yohji Kudoh to return to the shop that night._

_The blonde would have been able to admit his mistake if Aya hadn't been such a bitch about it. Omi had been injured on a mission because Yohji had been busy flirting with the girl they had rescued._

_He knew he had made a mistake, and gods but was he regretting it._

_But Aya hadn't had to yell at him like that._

_They'd ended up in an explosive argument and Yohji had stormed out of the shop without keys, coat, or cash._

"_Damn it all to hell."_

_His feet took him to one of his favorite bars, and he went inside just to get warm. If his luck improved, he may be able to find someone willing to take him home for the night, maybe even buy him a drink or two. Yohji was angry, and that always made him feel self-destructive._

"_Shit. _You_?"_

_Yohji looked up, and was shocked to see a familiar face, framed by a wild spill of even more familiar flame red hair._

"_Mastermind?"_

"_Can't get any peace, can I?" the German demanded, sliding into the barstool beside the one Yohji had chosen. "Oh well. Buy me a drink, will you, Balinese?"_

_Was it just poor lighting, or was the telepath's face really that swollen and bruised?_

"_Sorry. I'm broke."_

"_What the hell use are you to me, then?" the other man sighed, running a hand through his hair. He called the bartender over and ordered something for the both of them. _

_The bartender's eyes glazed over after he asked for his pay, and after giving them their drinks returned to work as if the two of them had ceased to exist._

_Schuldig saluted Yohji with his bottle, then took a deep swig._

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_Not much for manners, are you?" the telepath sniffed._

"_I come to this place all the time. Never seen _you_ here before."_

_A snort._

"_Well, if I go to one of my usual places, then they'll know where to look for me, won't they?"_

"_Shit. If you've brought trouble - !"_

"_Look – I swiped Brad's credit card. You wanna get out of here? Find a hotel and fuck like extremely angry, violent bunnies?"_

_Yohji blinked, taken back by the sudden proposition._

"_You used your powers to score us drinks while all the while you got a gold card?" he asked intelligently._

"_Actually, it's platinum."_

_Taking a swig of his own drink, Yohji allowed himself to unabashedly observe the other man. With his tight, lithe body draped from shoulders to toes in strategically cut, skin tight leather, his hair a wild and gorgeous spill down his back, the German was easily the most attractive thing in the bar. Temptation incarnate._

_And Yohji was in the kind of mood to give in to temptation._

"_Sure," he agreed carelessly, putting his drink back down. "Why the hell not?"_

_Destructive didn't begin to describe his behavior as Schuldig smiled at him and rose. As Yohji followed the man out of the bar._

"_Won't this 'Brad' guy notice the hotel on the bill?"_

_Schuldig looked at him, eyes burning with a dangerous mixture of play and anger._

"_Let the bastard find out!" he announced rebelliously. "It's no fun if I don't get caught!"_

* * *

Yohji had heard that Aya was in love with him so many times that he was beginning to get sick of hearing it. It was hard enough to deal with his attraction to the man (who still scared him) he felt naturally, and the addition of the attraction from the memories.

And now _this_?

Why the hell hadn't anyone told him that he and _Schuldig_ had been lovers?

When the first session had ended with scenes of wild, almost violent sex, followed by exhausted afterglow, he'd found himself sitting in his chair gaping like a fish while Schuldig, the bastard, got up and left _as if nothing had happened_!

Three days of such memories had passed and still the damn telepath hadn't so much as _mentioned_ it.

Did Aya even know?

Had Schuldig told his lover that he had once had a relationship with the other man he loved?

And if Aya did know, then why hadn't he said anything?

The thoughts had been running in circles in Yohji's mind for days, leaving him unable to think of anything else.

* * *

_There was something incredibly exciting about having a secret from his teammates – particularly one so potentially explosive._

_He was sleeping with a member of Schwarz._

_The humor of it all was just far too enjoyable. His uptight team of "White Hunters" who so disapproved of his methods of entertainment anyway, had absolutely no idea._

_And Schuldig himself…_

_The telepath was wild and unpredictable and very, very creative. He was unlike any lover Yohji had ever known before. He knew without a doubt that he would never get tired of the flame haired man._

_The sneaking around, Schuldig's never-ending supply of creativity, and of course, the explosive, oftentimes violent fights for dominance. Yohji found himself in one of the most exciting and satisfying relationships in his life – and the fact that his teammates would be furious if they ever found out about it only made it better._

_It was with an anticipation that was becoming wonderfully familiar that Yohji took the elevator up to their usual hotel room._

_The schedule that they had worked out was haphazard enough to keep any suspicious teammates from realizing that they had both found steady lovers. It was the closest that Yohji had ever come to a real relationship since Asuka and, Yohji was surprised to admit, he was enjoying it._

_Yohji entered the hotel room to find that all the lights were out but for a single candle lit on the bedside table. Schuldig reclined on the bed, dressed, it seemed, in nothing but black, a black mask hiding his pretty face._

_Yohji grinned. This wasn't the first time the telepath had surprised him with something creative._

_But this was a new game._

"_Come on in," the telepath greeted in a purr._

_Yohji chuckled, closing the door after himself._

"_I can barely see you," he said, letting his coat drop to the floor._

"_I guess you'll have to let your hands do the seeing!" he responded playfully. "Don't take too long removing those clothes, lover. I'm very anxious to get started, you see."_

_Yohji paused._

"_You're going to have to leave early again?"_

"_Let's just say it's a possibility. Now – drop your pants."_

_Yohji finished undressing and crossed to the bed, unable to escape the strange feeling that something was wrong._

"_Schuldig…" he knelt on the bed and reached for him, finding his lips in the darkness. He rested his hand atop the other man's abdomen, relishing the feel of his taunt muscles under the slick black silk._

_The telepath wrapped his arms tightly around him, and rolled them._

"_Are we playing 'phantom' tonight?" the blonde asked, slightly surprised by the sudden action. When Schuldig wanted to be dominant, he usually pounced much earlier._

"_That's right," the German murmured affectionately. "Shall I sing to you?"_

"_Depends. How's your singing voice?"_

"_Does it matter? I sing to you, then I have my naughty way with you."_

"_Sounds good to me." Yohji reached for him, relaxing into the comfort of the intoxicating man's presence. His hand moved, sliding over the hard, silk-covered muscles._

_He paused as his hand found something. Something wrong. Something…_

_Schuldig quickly grabbed his arms and pinned him down._

_But he hadn't been able to hide a grimace of pain._

"_You're injured!" Yohji accused._

"_I had a mission," he murmured, leaning in to devour his neck with kisses._

"_Then why would you try to hide it?"_

"_I wasn't!"_

_Yohji managed to pull away, reaching to turn on the bedside lamp._

_His eyes immediately began searching Schuldig for wounds. He reached for him, pulling the black night shirt off one shoulder._

_He could see the smear of blood on that pale skin from where his hand had touched a wound, but that barely mattered compared to the sight of _other_ wounds._

_Bruises, burns, cuts._

_These wounds were not from a mission. They had been done deliberately. With a purpose. It was amazing that the man could even move._

"_Punishment." Schuldig said quietly, reading his mind. "It's nothing. Let's get back to the fun part."_

_A hand on his shoulder kept him from leaning in for a kiss._

"_You took a risk coming to meet me."_

"_It will be worth it once you give me sex."_

"_Schuldig."_

_He sighed, sitting up and pulling his shirt back up around his shoulders._

"_Brad is unhappy with me because I've been blocking him." he explained reluctantly. "He goes a little crazy whenever he finds out I've let anyone else touch me."_

"'_Else'?"_

_Schuldig paled._

* * *

Yohji opened his eyes to find himself alone in the study, slouched down in the chair he always used during their sessions.

It always took a few moments to recover from the sessions – to realize that the things he had just experienced were distant memories, not events which had just occurred.

Yohji was usually alone when he awoke from these sessions, except for when Schuldig stuck around to bug him about a particular memory – pointing out his obvious attraction for Aya in annoying detail.

How the man could be so "helpful" trying to get his lover with another man was a mystery.

Usually, Yohji was glad to awake to an empty room. Schuldig's badgering him about Aya was awkward and embarrassing, especially now that he remembered the feel of _Schuldig's_ skin beneath his hands.

All Schuldig ever said about his own relationship with Yohji had been to promise that it wouldn't last long.

And now Yohji remembered the anticipated _end_ to that relationship.

Yohji had found out exactly what kind of man Brad Crawford had been toward his flame haired teammate – and what he had required in terms of loyalty. Yohji had been appalled, naturally, but _for_ Schuldig's sake. He'd been so angry at the time that he'd blown up at Schuldig in plain disgust – but none of that anger had ever been directed at the lovely telepath.

Yohji had failed to make that clear. And, afterwards, when he'd found himself unable to get into contact with the man again outside of missions, he'd let him go.

He'd come so close to falling in love with the flame haired man. In fact, he may have actually _been_ in love.

And he had thrown away the chance on sheer idiocy.

He found the telepath in the kitchen with a glass of water and a bottle of pain medication. It seemed the man had been taking a _lot_ of meds lately.

He gave himself a moment to observe him, trying to sort through what were merely memories and what were his true feelings.

But weren't _memories_ of feelings just as real as _current_ feelings?

"It wasn't your fault." he said at last.

Schuldig looked up at him, eyes tired.

"What?"

"I wasn't angry at you that day. You should know that."

"I know. Knew." the telepath snorted. "Believe me – if I hadn't known, you would have _suffered_."

"Oh…"

"There was nothing to be done," Schuldig shrugged. "It's…good…that it ended when it did. Be thankful for some pleasant memories, and leave it at that."

"It doesn't feel finished, though. I don't think it ever did."

"I'm going to bed," Schuldig decided, ignoring him as he rose. He dumped the rest of his water in the sink and left without another word.

* * *

To Be Continued

This chapter is important because of the Schu/Yohji background, of course, but in my opinion there's something that could be seen as even more important: the first scene. Yohji goes to Schu to talk about his troubles with Aya – it's the first real sign that he's beginning to think of his "kidnapper" as a friend, someone to be trusted. And it happened before he remembered their relationship.

It's not that I dislike Brad. I actually think he's pretty fascinating. But he's not a Nice Person. In the Weiss world in my head, he's the most evil out of all of Schwarz, if that gives you any idea.

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**silverfox **- I'm happy with the pace, too. And so glad that you're enjoying the fic! Thanks for reading!

**CaT70** - (pouts) ff always kills things we love. Anyway, thanks for reading!

**guiltyamethyst** - he is rather silly, isn't he? I kind of like innocentlystupidandhurtful!Yohji though...

**arcanelight** - don't smack him, he'd enjoy it too much. It would defeat the purpose of punishing him!

**Moon without a Sun** - (grins)

Thanks, everyone!


	15. Price

When Yohji was intimate with someone, he made love. In that moment of primal instincts, of coming together, he sincerely cared for his partner – no matter who it may be. No matter how powerful the passion became, the blonde had always striven to make sex with him a memorable and pleasant experience.

When Schuldig was with someone, he fucked. The telepath didn't have the capacity to trust most people enough to let sex mean anything other than what it was. He gave his body and his talents enthusiastically, but kept his heart to himself.

Yohji made love.

Schuldig fucked.

Somehow, in some unexplainable way, the combination between them had worked. Yohji's sincerity and Schuldig's wild abandon had created between them a relationship that had come very close to succeeding.

And just having the memory of that relationship returned to him had changed the way Yohji looked at the flame haired man.

He was still the frightening, unpredictable man who had kidnapped him from the grocery store and promptly turned his life upside-down, but now Yohji also knew him to be wicked and enthusiastic, passionate and…wonderful. Behind the visage of the evil-minded telepath, Yohji knew that there was a very frightened, very vulnerable, very sweet man.

Or at least, there had been, years ago.

"You ready?" the telepath asked him absently, not looking up from the television set as Yohji approached him. "You don't want to wait until after dinner for your next session? The _Veilchen_ is supposed to be home early tonight."

Yohji stared at him, mentally willing the other man to look at him.

Either Schuldig was ignoring him, or he didn't have his telepathy turned on – or however it worked.

"We can wait." Yohji agreed at last, sitting down next to the flame haired man. Schuldig had been strangely reluctant lately when it came to their sessions, and he had been cutting down on the time they lasted, as well as the number of memories each night.

Yohji felt awkward sitting next to Schuldig. It had been a long time since they had shared a relationship, but his memories felt new. He wondered if these feelings of fondness and friendship for the man had ever faded into nothing, or if he had simply continued to carry them.

They felt like they should be permanent.

Schuldig was watching a man on the television cook something involving lots of scallops. His attention seemed completely riveted on it; his lips were moving as he watched, and Yohji knew that the man was quietly repeating everything that was said, thus sealing it to memory.

Yohji found himself unable to look away from those whispering lips.

"Schuldig?" he asked at last.

A hesitation, but the show cut to commercial before the telepath had to decide whether or not Yohji was worthy of taking his attention. Schuldig glanced at Yohji.

The blonde took the opportunity before he could lose his nerve. He leaned in, and Schuldig only stared at him with wide, surprised eyes as he brushed a gentle kiss across his lips.

Yohji pulled back and saw nothing in his face to discourage him. Grinning, he cupped the other man's face in his hands and kissed him again, as deeply as he'd wanted to the first time.

Schuldig made a small sound of pleasure, hands going into Yohji's hair, gripping it tightly enough to hurt as he responded with bruising force.

He hadn't changed. He still kissed the same, still tasted the same, still…

Schuldig was the first to pull away, and he rose quickly and took several steps away from the couch, wiping the back of his hand across his lips.

"You are not for me, _Sonnenschein_," he said shakily. "Nor I for you."

Yohji blinked at him. Slowly he remembered that he was supposed to be getting these memories do that he could fall in love with _Aya_ again, not Schuldig.

Aya, who claimed to love him.

Aya, who slept with Schuldig.

Aya…

Who still scared the shit out of him sometimes.

"Why can't we give _us_ another try?" he asked, attempting to ignore the feeling that he was doing something wrong. "Don't you think that we deserve to know what we could have been?"

"Maybe in another lifetime." Schuldig answered, turning his back to him and crossing his arms. "It's too late for this life."

"Aren't you the least bit curious?"

"I'm giving you back to Aya. That's the purpose of everything we've done. You know that."

"If you weren't still interested in me, you wouldn't sound so tense." Yohji pointed out.

"Drop it, Kudoh. I promised - !"

"Aya. Yeah, I know." Yohji sighed. "But Schuldig, what do _you_ want?"

"Hell if I know."

"Schuldig…"

He turned to face him then, and it was as if every last trace of his usual mask had fallen away. This was not the cocky, irritating, bastard of a telepath. This was a very honest, very frightened young man.

"Kudoh…this is the first time in my life…that I've loved someone more than myself." he anwered quietly. "The only thing I'm sure I want is for Aya to be happy."

Yohji didn't know what to say to that.

"That…that's strange for you, isn't it?" he asked at last.

Schuldig closed his eyes.

"I like it," he confessed. "I…enjoy feeling this way. I _love_ loving him."

"But why _Aya_?"

"Yohji…" Schuldig opened his eyes. Those jade orbs, usually so bright with wicked mischief, were suddenly gazing at him with the utmost sincerity. "Haven't you _seen_ him?"

"He's beautiful – I'm not arguing that."

"Beauty," the telepath snorted. "Do you have any idea how many beautiful men have thrown themselves at me? If beauty were all that mattered, if it meant anything at all, I'd still be letting Braddy-boy use me as his own personal fuck toy."

"Schuldig…"

"Aya is _strong_, Kudoh. He is _so_ strong. And he's _good_ and he suffers – and I'm just arrogant enough to think I can help him." Schuldig's angry glare softened at whatever he saw in Yohji's expression. "You're attracted to him," he said quietly. "And now you have the memories to know that you've _always_ been attracted to him. You simply don't know him well enough yet for the rest. He doesn't make knowing him easy."

"But…"

"Trust me," the telepath gave a small, bittersweet smile. "Soon you'll see that he is a far worthier choice than I."

Schuldig appeared very tired as he moved to leave.

Yohji rose quickly, snatching out a hand to grasp the other man's arm.

In an instant, they were kissing.

"Damn you!" Schuldig cursed huskily, gripping him close. "Stubborn son of a bitch - !" another kiss, this one as hungry and desperate as the first. "Why the hell do you have to do this _now_?" he demanded breathlessly.

"You know I never wanted to end it with you, Schuldig."

"But _Aya_…"

"He's fucking gorgeous, but he's also cold and unreal. You're _here_, Schuldig. You're here, and so warm and so lively – who would ever want anyone else?"

"You still don't get it. You still don't know how to look at him yet."

Yohji kissed him again, and Yohji didn't try to stop him.

"Why do I have to look?" he demanded, moving his lips to the telepath's neck. "Why would I ever need to?"

"Yohji…"

He was about to kiss him again, but something caught his attention.

The sight of a small, pale redhead standing in the doorway.

Yohji felt his face flush, then pale. He quickly moved away from the telepath, unexplained guilt rising in him like bile.

"How…" his voice grew dry and he had to try a second time before he could speak. "How long have you been there?" he managed at last.

"'Cold and unreal.'" Aya answered matter-of-factly.

"Aya, I…"

The man gave a small smile that failed to reach his eyes. He didn't even glance at Schuldig as the flame haired man came to his side and wrapped his arms tightly around him.

"I'm not angry, Yohji, I promise." Aya assured him quietly. "I would choose him, too."

Yohji gaped at him, unable to think of a response as the man coldly disentangled himself from Schuldig's arms and began to walk away.

* * *

"How long?"

Yohji looked at Aya, almost surprised to hear his voice. It had been days since the small redhead had spoken to him.

"What?" he asked, momentarily forgetting where they were.

Aya leaned down to brush hair out of Schuldig's face, gaze lingering on the man's still form on the bed.

"You said you came out of the memories to find him unconscious in his chair."

"And I immediately came to get you and we carried him here together."

"Don't be a smartass." Aya warned. He spared a moment to glare at Yohji, then returned his gaze to his lover. "This has to be a result of your sessions," he mused quietly. "It can't be a sudden reaction – something must have led up to it, so there must have been warning signs. Has Schuldig been acting strangely after your sessions? And, if so, then how long has it been going on for?"

Yohji dropped his eyes, scolding himself for daring to think about anything else. This was important. If the memory sessions were hurting Schuldig…

"He always seems really tired afterwards," he answered at last. "And lately he's been taking a lot of pain killers. I don't know – maybe a few weeks? I didn't notice it at first. Could be a month."

"It's…nothing."

Aya's eyes shot back to Schuldig, who was now trying to sit up. His gaze was sharp enough that anyone who knew him might think he was angry. Yohji suspected that the expression might have more to do with worry, though.

"How many memories did you give him before you passed out?"

Schuldig dropped his eyes, refusing to answer.

"Only one." Yohji told Aya. "I was coming to…to ask you to teach me something. I didn't get much of it."

"Flowers…" Aya said softly, frowning. "You wanted to learn the symbolism…"

"_Vielchen_…"

"Schuldig. I knew you'd been having headaches…but _every_ night?"

The telepath cursed, still refusing to look at his lover.

"The barriers on Kudoh's memories have become vicious," he answered reluctantly. "Breaking through them has become more challenging. That is all."

"You can't force your powers to do more than they're able!" Aya snapped crossly. "You could do yourself irreversible damage! _Schuldig_!"

"I can break those shields. I swear it!"

"And what if trying breaks you?" Aya demanded. "Then I would be left without Yohji _and _you!"

Silence filled the room.

Aya loved Schuldig. Never before had it been so clear to Yohji.

"Isn't there any other way for me to get my memories back?" Yohji asked quietly.

"The telepath who took them could give them back in a heartbeat." Schuldig sighed, throwing an arm above his eyes. "But finding the bastard will be a bitch."

"Isn't there any other way?"

He sighed again.

"There's a small chance that you could regain them naturally, by visiting familiar places and talking about the past with those who knew you," he answered wearily. "But there's a very good chance that it wouldn't work – and that even if it did, it would take a very, very long time."

"But we can try it, can't we? At least for long enough to give you a break."

"I'm in too much pain to make it clear to you what a stupid choice that would be."

"We aren't in a hurry, Schuldig." Aya told him quietly. "Your health is more important than memories."

* * *

"I…I'm sorry about the other day." Yohji said quietly as Aya entered the kitchen.

The man froze, staring at him warily for a moment. Finally he shook his head.

"You don't have to apologize, Yohji. I told you I wasn't angry."

"I had no right to say those things about you, or to act that way with him."

"I would let you get away with anything, Yohji." Aya gave a small snort, a small almost-smile. "But you have nothing to apologize for this time. You…loved him back then, didn't you?"

"No. Yes…Maybe. Hell, I don't know."

"It's fine. I knew you had a history."

"Then why the hell did you look so upset? Why do I still feel like I need to apologize?"

"You don't know me, Yohji, and you didn't in those memories, either." Aya answered seriously. "You wanted me the way you wanted any of your conquests. You were just being yourself. It's my fault that I don't let people in."

"It doesn't mean I don't _want_ in though, Aya! My feelings for Schuldig – whatever they are – don't make me want you any less. Gods, Aya," Yohji sighed, shaking his head. "This whole mess is just so damned confusing. There are so many things going on in my head right now, and so many emotions when I look at you, and him, and…can I just say that I'm sorry and leave it at that?"

"Kiss me." Aya challenged quietly. "Please, Yohji…if you really want me, just kiss me, okay?"

Yohji rose and slowly made his way across the room to him. Aya did not move either away or closer.

The smaller man closed his eyes and leaned into the touch as Yohji reached out, fingertips brushing across his jawline.

"Was it like this before?" Yohji asked softly, amazed at how cold, intimidating Aya Fujimiya could suddenly become so sweet and pliant.

Aya opened his eyes slowly, gazing at Yohji with what was unmistakably love shining in those brightly purple orbs.

"Did I touch you like this?" Yohji asked. "Did you make me feel so awkward and unskilled, but at the same time, almost reverent?"

Aya took Yohji's hand in his and brushed a gentle kiss across his knuckles.

"I almost feel like I can live again, with you so near."

"Doesn't Schuldig make you live?"

"Only when he's nearby."

Yohji took Aya in his arms. Somehow, it felt like the right thing to do.

"Gods…it's like you were made for me."

"I was." Aya swore, tangling his hands in Yohji's shirt. He made a quiet sound, a gentle sigh. "Your arms…oh, _Yohji_…I miss you so much."

"We really…we really _were_ together, weren't we?"

"Yes," he whispered. "Yes, we were."

"And you loved me."

"I never told you enough."

Seeing this honest and emotional side of Aya, Yohji was certain that he had _known_ the man had loved him. He hadn't needed the words.

"Tell me about us, Aya," he requested. "Maybe it will help me remember something."

Instantly, Aya's eyes clouded over.

"Yohji…"

"Not the bad things," Yohji added quickly, tugging on a strand of Aya's hair. "Tell me about the good things. Before you did whatever it is you did that's made you feel so guilty."

"I hurt you, Yohji. Deliberatly."

"Happy things. How did we start going out?"

A small, reluctant smile.

"You tricked me."

"Figures."

"Aren't you supposed to be kissing me?"

"I want to hear more about us. Tell me a story, and I'll see what I can do about that kiss."

"I'm not the talkative type."

"Not a story, then. Just tell me something about our relationship. Something important."

Aya ducked his head, resting it against Yohji's shoulder. For several moments, Yohji was almost certain that the man wasn't going to answer him.

"There was a pet name you used to call me," he said at last. "It was annoying and embarrassing, but you insisted. The more I demanded you stop, the more you did it…" Aya sighed and drew away, giving Yohji a small, sad smile. "Funny that now I'd give almost anything to hear you call me that name again."

"What was it?"

Aya shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. As soon as you remember the things I did to you, you won't want me anymore. It was pure selfishness on my part that caused me to ask you to kiss me." He took several steps away.

"What do you want, Aya? Isn't all of this so that we can be together again?"

"No, Yohji. We're going through this because you deserve to know who you are." Aya shook his head. "I wasted our time, and now it's too late for us. We went through so much pain, and now I can't even remember what it was all for."

"I'll still kiss you, Aya."

"I don't deserve your kisses. And it would be deceitful to let that happen when you can't even remember what I've done to you."

"Maybe I won't be mad when I remember."

"Don't say things like that when I know better."

"Aya…"

"You should be with Schuldig if you really love him. I know I don't deserve either of you."

"Why not let us be the ones to decide what we want?"

"It will still end the way I predict. But that's fine – I can survive being alone if I know you're alive and happy."

Ata began to head for the door, and Yohji could only stare after him.

If he stopped him, what could he do? Yohji wanted Aya, but it was fantasy. Faced with reality, would Yohji really be willing to push it?

It was just too soon for him to tell.

"Aya?"

The man paused. Almost reluctantly, it seemed, he glanced back at him.

"Whatever it means," Yohji said, "I promise to remember you someday. I'll do whatever it takes, I swear it. Okay, Aya?"

A slight smile, a tight nod. Aya left.

* * *

To Be Continued

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

**glinwulf **- I'm glad you liked them; they were fun to write. Hm. Schuldig has lots and lots of issues...one day we'll have to send him to therapy. As for now, I've got my hands full just getting these three to behave!

**Acesha** - Thanks. Oh, and that's a nice way to put it about Brad...(stores in memory file for later use.)

**vivenia** - it got through this time, so yay! So glad you're enjoying.

**CaT70** - well, they were all in this one. (grin) Hey, that would be a cute idea for a oneshot (files away for later use.)

**Moon without a Sun** - (grins)

**steffi** - let's just say I've already got that scene written, and it was a hell of a lot of fun.

**guiltyamethyst** - (grin)

**arcanelight **- not happy at all. Yet.


	16. A Reunion

Doing a rush job editing this because I have class in ten minutes. FF wouldn't let me update yesterday.

This could very well be the last chapter before the new year. My apologies, but it's very difficult to update during this time of the year. Between research essays and holiday plans, it's nearly impossible. If I can manage to squeeze one or two more out before the end of the year, I will, but it's doubtful. If I can't, then I hope to see you all in 2007.

* * *

"I heard you hit a sped bump."

Yohji blinked a moment in surprise before, at last, allowing a large grin to split his face.

"Ken?"

"Don't be an ass and pretend you don't know me," the brunette standing in the doorway glared. "I know for a fact that you've got at least half of your memories of Weiss back now."

"I know who you are. I'm just surprised to see you."

The teasing hostility drained from the athlete's face and he returned Yohji's grin.

"Aya keeps in touch," he explained with trademark Hidaka cheer. "He's really letting you guys take a break on the whole memories thing?"

"Yeah, the three of us all agreed that it was for the best."

"Man. I'll never understand that guy."

"Aya? Yeah. At least I'm not the only one."

"You gonna invite me in, or what?"

Yohji heaved an overdramatic sigh. "I don't know," he said slowly. "Don't think Schuldig would appreciate me letting you in to stink up the place…"

Ken swung a playful punch at him.

"You're really getting back to yourself, aren't you?" he asked laughingly.

"Ken?" a voice called from down the hall.

"Aya!"

The man paused in the hallway, looking very delicate in an oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants. From the disheveled state of his hair, it was obvious that he'd just come from 'playing' with Schuldig.

No wonder Yohji hadn't been able to find anyone when he'd heard the doorbell.

"What are you doing here?"

"I traced your number to find the place – hope you don't mind. When I heard that there had been a problem retrieving Yohji's memories, I thought I could help." With a grin, he held up a VHS tape that Yohji hadn't noticed he was holding until that moment.

"What's that? A porno? Okay, as long as you remembered that we're kinda into the whole guy-on-guy thing around here."

"Says the _married_ man." Ken shook his head, seeming to decide to ignore the blonde. "You know, Aya, maybe you should have left him _without_ his memories. He had to have been sweeter then."

"He's pretty much a pain in the ass with them or without." Aya answered in complete seriousness. "Come on in."

* * *

"This was a day where we all got together to see if we could still play nice." Ken explained as he set up the home video. "You remember, Aya. You glared at Miyo every time you caught her with the video camera on you."

"I remember," the redhead answered cautiously.

Ken turned to find a seat, and paused a moment at the sight that greeted him. Aya was sitting in the middle of the couch, cuddled up snugly against Schuldig, his head on the telepath's shoulder. As Ken watched, Yohji came and took the seat on the small redhead's other side. They seemed impossibly comfortable – Ken wondered if any of them even realized how close they were getting.

"There's some of this even I didn't know she taped," he said as he took his own seat. "She…ah…was more interested in your relationship than I'd known. But I guess it's lucky because it might actually be helpful now."

"Just show us."

* * *

"I could have gotten it on my own," the onscreen Aya informed Yohji as he reached for the door handle on a car. He seemed just as cold as ever. "It doesn't take two people to get a shopping bag full of hamburger buns."

"No? Aww, I'm sorry." Yohji's hand closed over Aya's on the handle as he pressed the front of his body against the back of Aya's in a long, clean line. "Here I thought I was being all helpful and stuff."

Aya moved, attempting to elbow Yohji, and the blonde, laughing, avoided the blow. He turned Aya to face him, trapping him against the car.

"Don't do this here." Aya hissed, glaring.

"Can't help it." Yohji kissed Aya, a quick peck on the lips. His voice was very low, very intimate. "I want," another kiss "To thoroughly traumatize our friends."

Aya continued to glare a moment longer before the expression…broke.

Aya smiled, a truly amazing sight, and reached for Yohji. Grinning, the blonde lowered his head for another kiss.

"Miyo!"

The camera shook. Abruptly it was pointed at the ground.

"Were you _spying _on them?" Ken's voice demanded.

"Of course not!" an unfamiliar female voice answered. "I just wanted to get a new battery from the car, but I didn't want to disturb them while they were…you know."

The camera shook again, for a moment displaying a brief flash of Yohji and Aya, locked in what appeared to be a somewhat amorous embrace. The screen went blank.

When it came back up, it was pointed at nothing in particular, and the image was out of focus.

The voices, however, could be heard quite clearly.

"Do you need anything, Yohji?" Aya's voice asked, approaching wherever they were.

"We're fine, bunny thong." Yohji answered, voice a playful drawl. "What, you don't want to play with the others?"

"No."

"You let him call you 'bunny thong'?" Omi's voice asked incredulously.

Aya's voice was cold.

"I don't like it," he answered, "But I won't kill him for it, either."

"And I'm ever so grateful." Yohji interjected with a deep chuckle.

The screen was getting fuzzy – the battery was running out.

"Omi, sit down." Aya requested.

The rest of the tape was lost to fuzz.

* * *

Ken used the remote to turn off the tape, and silence filled the room like something alive and touchable.

He glanced at Yohji, expecting the blonde to be the first to speak.

But Yohji's eyes were locked on Aya.

And Aya…

The small man's face was hidden in his hands, his shoulders shaking with what was certainly not laughter. Beside him, Schuldig was carefully pulling his fingers through Aya's hair.

"Aya," Ken began awkwardly. "I…"

Schuldig drew back and rose to his feet with one last, soothing caress against his lover's hair. "He wants to be left alone," he announced quietly.

Feeling nearly overwhelmed with guilt, Ken followed him out of the room, berating himself for having been so stupid. Of course the tape had been a bad idea! Reminding Aya of everything he'd lost? What a jackass!

It wasn't until they had left the room that he realized that Yohji had stayed behind.

* * *

"I don't think I really believed it until just now…seeing it with my own eyes…"

Yohji flinched at the sound of his own voice, resounding much too loudly in the silent room. Maybe he shouldn't have bothered opening his mouth, but he couldn't have stayed quiet with Aya looking so helpless and lost.

"I knew I wanted you, and I knew you loved me…but I was really in love with you, wasn't I? You…you weren't all that much different than you are now," he hesitated, but Aya gave no indication that he was even listening, so he continued. "You were still so hard to read…you still seemed so cold, but I…I just ignored it, didn't I?"

"You were…persistent."

Aya lifted his head from his hands at last. His eyes were dry, but unreadable.

"We should go and thank Ken for bringing the tape for us," the small redhead decided coldly.

Yohji hesitated.

But apparently a lack of respect for personal space had helped him in the past. Maybe annoyance was all it took to get through to the small human block of ice.

He sccoted closer until his thigh was flush against Aya's. He thought he should put his arm around him, but wasn't brave enough to try. He couldn't even bring himself to look at the man.

"Don't do this, Aya," he requested quietly. He put his hand on the other man's knee, feeling that some other form of physical contact was necessary. "That video made you feel something. Don't you think it'd be healthier for you to tell me about it instead of just bottling it up?"

"I told Schuldig."

"I didn't hea…oh, the telepathy. I forgot." Yohji frowned, feeling awkward and stupid and inadequate. "It's still not the same as saying it out loud," he said at last.

Aya sighed.

"If I close my eyes," he said quietly, "Sometimes I can pretend that nothing's changed between us, Yohji…especially when you act like this. It…It's so _hard_ to be near you and not…not have everything be the same as it used to be. Not touch you, or have you touch me. Not…have you want me. You couldn't leave me alone when we were together…you always had to be…"

"Tell me, Aya."

Tentatively, his hand moved to cover Yohji's.

"It was nice to see us the way we were, even though I know it can never be like that again. I wish there had been more on that tape." his voice was quiet, holding no emotion in it whatsoever. "It also made me realize how stupid I was when I hurt you. I thought I was doing something good, but…you loved me too much for it."

"Maybe it _can_ be like that again. It looked nice."

Aya kissed him on the cheek, then rose.

"Thank you, Yohji. Maybe one day you'll forgive me for hurting you, and we can be something like friends."

"Aya…"

"I have to go and thank Ken."

A small smile, and he left.

* * *

"Aya!" Mamoru Taketori's voice on the other line was cheerful, but guarded. "It's so great to hear from you! I thought you swore never to talk to me again."

"I never intended to," Aya confessed, "However, it seems to have now become…necessary."

"Are you ready for a job?"

"No." Aya's eyes narrowed into a glare, though he knew that there was no one there to see it. "I told you – I'd sooner die than allow Krittiker to use me again."

"It's really a shame. You were good at what you did."

"Good at murder. Forgive me if I don't take that as a compliment, Taketori."

A long stretch of silence. Finally, Mamoru heaved a heavy sigh.

"Is that what this is all about? You know, _Ken_ doesn't treat me any differently because I don't want to be called Omi anymore.:

"I'm not Ken."

"If you aren't calling to catch up on old times, then why _did_ you call?"

"Why did you tell me that Yohji had died?"

"Yoh…? Aya, there was nothing we could have done for him." Mamoru's voice had gone gentle. Quiet.

"He isn't dead."

"Denial isn't going to make it hurt any less, Ayan."

"No. I mean he really isn't dead. He'd in the study getting his ass kicked by Schu in chess."

Silence.

"He has amnesia," Aya said at last, "But he's very much alive."

"Amnesia?"

"Telepath-induced amnesia. Mamoru…I'm asking this as someone who was once your friend. Did you have anything to do with this?"

"N…no!"

"Good." Aya closed his eyes. "Because I would hate to have to kill you."

"Aya…you wouldn't _really_…!"

"I've spoken to Ken, and he wants to get everyone together sometime. Schuldig thinks that doing so would help us break down the barriers on Yohji's mind."

"_Schuldig_?"

"We don't have any plans finalized yet, and I would like to see you alone before the meeting with Ken, but we're thinking a few weeks. Do you want to, or not?"

"Y…yes, but Aya…"

"Good. I'll call you when we have some plans."

Aya hung up without another word, feeling cold inside.

"Hey," Yohji was standing in the doorway. The blonde gave him a smile that could have almost been described as shy. "You gonna come referee us, or what? He cheats like crazy."

Aya smiled.

* * *

TBC

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

Acesha - cookies! (scarf)

Moon without a Sun - yippie!

CaT70 - I missed it too. (sniff)

arcanelight - it's yummy either way. Or both. (grin)


	17. Familiar Faces

Time is a tricky thing. Finding it is even more difficult. If review response slows or even halts, please don't be offended.

Updates should begin to come on Wednesdays or Fridays from now on, instead of Mondays.

New fanart is up in my livejournal. Please see my profile if you need the link.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Aya and Schuldig began to take him to places he used to frequent and to visit people he used to know. Sometimes Ken came along, too.

Yohji didn't feel like he was remembering anything new, but he was certainly enjoying the outings.

It was fragile, but there seemed to be something developing between the three of them. Some comfort, some friendship, born of nothing more than the fact that they were trying to help one another. On some strange level it had stopped being about the past and began to be about the present.

Yohji's memories had been stopped suddenly in the middle of one specific event. Perhaps that was the reason he could now so successfully distance himself.

He liked Aya, and it had nothing to do with the memories of attraction for a strong and dependable leader. He had stopped avoiding the man and had began to get to know him. He was beginning to learn that Aya's silences and unreadable expressions usually _weren't_ meant in a hostile manner.

In addition, Yohji found that he liked Schuldig, too. Once again it had very little to do with their history.

Schuldig's wildness. Aya's quiet and understated humor…

Somehow it was becoming comfortable.

Fragile.

But comfprtable.

Yohji still wanted his memories.

* * *

"Taro Noda."

Dark eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"You remember me?"

"I've gotten a little past that in my memories." Yohji answered, still trying to get over his surprise at seeing the man. As far as he knew, he hadn't seen him since high school. How could seeing someone he already remembered help him? His eyes searched out Aya. "How does he know about…?" he asked.

"I called ahead." Aya answered coolly, reaching out to shake hands with the man. "Thank you for seeing us, Noda."

"Anytime."

"I hope we aren't being too much trouble."

"No – there's no one living in the apartment right now."

"Apartment?" Yohji asked.

"Noda owns the building," Aya informed him. "This is where we lived when we were together."

"We…lived here…together?"

"Aya's only response was a quiet grunt. He was much less talkative without Schuldig there to goad him on. Unfortunately, the telepath had opted to stay home today, to give Yohji and Aya some alone time.

"I was so sorry to hear about your accident, Yohji." Noda said with a sincere smile. "I hope you get your memories back soon."

"Uh…yeah. Thanks."

"When you moved out, you sold me most of your furniture," Noda explained as he held out a key to the two. "So the place will be almost exactly the same as it was when you lived there. I hope it helps."

"I'm sure it will. Thank you."

Yohji tried very hard not to react in any way as Aya's arm encircled his waist. Slowly over the last few weeks, the man had begun to slowly open up a little – not only in his speech and facial expressions, but in his actions, too. Yohji had quickly learned that reacting with surprise to his careful touched only made the man self-consciously draw away.

And that was the last thing Yohji wanted.

As casually as possible, Yohji put his arm around Aya's shoulders.

The redhead glanced at him with a small smile.

* * *

Aya hesitated outside the familiar door, breath catching in his throat.

The keys in his hand, Yohji at his side with his arm a warm weight around his shoulders…

He was _home_.

Aya closed his eyes, wanting to remember this feeling, this moment. He could almost trick himself into believing that things were all as they should be.

He knew that they could never again be exactly the way they had been, and in truth, that wasn't even what he wanted anymore – not with Schuldig in his life. Even if, by some great miracle, he eventually got Yohji back, that didn't mean he would stop wanting Schuldig.

Aya frowned to himself, wondering if Schuldig understood that.

"Aya?"

He opened his eyes and glanced at Yohji, surprised to find the man looking down at him in concern.

"Is everything all right?" the blonde asked quietly. "We…we don't have to do this if you think it's going to upset you."

Aya surprised them both by moving, putting his head against Yohji's shoulder and wrapping his arms tightly around his waist, enjoying the scent of him, the achingly familiar warmth of his skin.

Yohji's arms encircled him slowly.

"Aya?" Surely it was only his imagination that told him Yohji's lips brushed across his temple. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Aya drew back and managed a smile. It was small, but it was genuine. He put the key into the lock and turned.

Noda had been wrong, he thought as he entered the apartment with Yohji. The apartment _didn't_ look the same. Not without the photos and books and knickknacks on the shelves. Not without the stacks of movies by the television, the warm blanket slung over the back of the couch, and the scent of the candles Yohji had liked to light when trying to be seductive.

"Gods…I can _feel_ it." Yohji said softly, pulling away and entering the apartment. Aya looked at him sharply, but the blonde didn't notice. "I can feel the history…"

"Do you remember anything?"

"No, but…_gods_…it feels like home."

"I love you, Yohji."

The blonde glanced back at him, then smiled brightly.

"You used to break in while I was at work," Aya informed him quietly, looking away. He walked further into the room and sat down on the couch, allowing himself to revel in the memories. "Finally, I just let you move in. I…I was always so…touched…that you were always so eager to be with me."

"I think I might be beginning to understand why I felt that way." Yohji answered, tone equally quiet, as he moved to sit next to the man.

It was all too natural to scoot closer, to lay himself against the taller man's chest. Yohji's arms went around him tightly and without any hesitation.

Yohji stopped him outside the car as they were leaving. Voice nearly a whisper, he thanked Aya.

Then he leaned down and kissed him.

It was gentle and soft; however, much more substantial than a quick brush of the lips. It was so careful and so very chaste, yet Aya found it difficult to catch his breath when Yohji – _blushing_ – pulled away.

* * *

Aya had been silent ever since the kiss, and Yohji found himself wondering if he had done the right thing. It had seemed so perfect at the time – such a natural thing to do. And Aya had wanted it, hadn't he?

"Where are we going next?" he asked finally, hoping to bring Aya out of his silence.

Aya didn't answer.

He didn't have to. Moments later he pulled into a familiar parking spot out in front of a very familiar place.

"The flower shop?"

Aya turned off the ignition and sat for several moments staring at the old shop.

"Refer to me as Ran while we're here," he requested at last, quietly.

"Ran?"

A tight nod. Aya got out of the car and Yohji slowly followed.

"I already remember this place though, Aya."

"This is for me, not you."

"Aya?"

"Ran." he corrected absently. "It's Ran while we're here."

"Ran, then." Yohji caught hold of Aya's hand, stopping him from going into the shop. Aya looked at their joined hands, then up at Yohji. His eyes were unreadable.

"We've been working so hard to heal you, Yohji," he said at last, voice nearly a whisper. "But I need to heal, too, or else I'll never find happiness. I realize that…but there was never time for it. Maybe now it's finally time for me to stop running from the things I want."

"Ran?" a female voice asked in disbelief.

Yohji looked up, surprised to find a young girl in the shop doorway, staring at the two of them with wide eyes. She was small and pale, delicate, even, wearing a shop apron and holding a broom. Something about her eyes was very familiar.

"Ran? Is that really you?" she asked, taking a step toward them. "Have…have you finally come to see me?"

"Yes," Aya answered quietly. "I'm sorry it took me so long, Aya-chan."

* * *

"You really don't remember anything?" the girl asked, eyes large and clear and innocent. She looked so much like her brother, yet it was still hard to think of her as related to the cold and difficult man.

"Nothing," Yohji answered, feeling awkward that the conversation had somehow managed to turn onto him when the whole purpose of their presence was reuniting the two siblings.

She dropped her eyes. "So _that's_ why…"

Yohji glanced at Aya, but the man was as unreadable as ever.

"Why what?"

Aya-chan hesitated.

"After I woke up from my coma and Ran left Japan, you used to come by to make sure I was doing all right on my own," she answered at last. "When you stopped coming, I thought it was because…because I had disagreed with your dating my brother."

"You…?" Yohji glanced at Aya once more.

"Aya-chan…" the man hesitated a moment, then reached across the table and took her hand.

"Can we start over, Ran-niichan?" she asked, tears springing to her eyes. "Forget the past, like Yohji-kun? I don't want you mad at me anymore."

"I was never mad at you…Aya."

She shifted a little, offering him a brave smile.

Yohji could only stare in disbelief at Aya's sudden transformation into such a gentle, caring man.

"I'm ah…I'm just going to go and get a refill." Yohji announced, deciding that he needed to give the siblings some privacy. He rose from his chair at the little outdoor diner they had chosen, and walked as far away as he could without leaving the area.

When he glanced back at them he found that they had scooted their chairs together, and that Aya's arms were wrapped rightly around his sister.

Yohji smiled.

* * *

By the time they had left their restaurant, it was dark outside. Aya-chan, giggling, had put up her fists and announced herself capable of walking herself home, despite Aya's worries. Aya had, reluctantly, agreed – and then once his sister was far enough away he began to follow.

"Thank you, Aya." Yohji said quietly.

The man kept his eyes locked on his sister, walking ahead of them.

"For what?" he asked. "We should have spent the day working on your memories."

"But you needed this."

"I should have done it on my own time."

"No, I…I don't think so, Aya. This has let me see you in a way I never have before."

Silence a moment. Aya slipped his hand tentatively into Yohji's.

"How do you see me?"

"It's hard to describe a feeling, Aya."

The small man stopped. Yohji stopped with him.

Aya was no longer looking at his sister. He had eyes only for Yohji.

"Yohji?"

The blonde smiled, eyes caressing Aya's face in the moonlight. So strong, so beautiful.

"Aya, I think I…I think…"

A scream ripped through the night, quickly muffled. Neither man hesitated before beginning to run.

Aya-chan was no longer up ahead; however, the sounds of a scuffle could be heard clearly enough from one of the side streets.

Aya-chan was pinned up against the wall by a nervous-looking teenager with a gun. As Aya and Yohji entered the area, the wide-eyed kid pulled her against him, gun trembling in his hand as he pointed it at her.

Aya looked like the angel of death himself as he approached.

There was only a moment's hesitation. The kid shoved Aya-chan into Yohji, then took off running. Aya followed.

"You all right?" Yohji asked the nearly-sobbing girl as Aya tackled his sister's attacker to the ground.

Unable to speak, the girl just nodded.

"You know that guy?" most likely, really, as this wasn't really an area of town known for random acts of violence.

"I…" she began.

There came the unmistakable sound of a gun firing. The kid leapt up to flee and Aya began to follow.

Then he stumbled.

And fell.

Yohji froze, ice creeping over his entire being.

"Ran!" Aya-chan screamed.

Yohji caught her arm as she tried to run to her fallen brother and the small girl rounded on him swinging. Yohji felt nothing, even as her slap struck him across the cheek.

"Let me go!" she screamed. "I have to go to him!"

"Aya!" she tried to hit him again, and he shook her. Not gently. "Aya!"

"You loved him!" she sobbed. "You can't let him die!"

"Aya. Do you have a phone?"

"A…phone?"

"Don't waste our time – do. you. have. a. phone?"

"No, I…"

He shoved her away.

"Go find a phone!" he ordered. "Call an ambulance."

He didn't look back to see if she was listening. He was already moving forward.

It was like a nightmare; everything seemed to have slowed down. There was nothing bu the night, and Aya's still form, and the dark puddle forming slowly under him.

Yohji didn't think. Carefully he rolled the man onto his back and cradled him in his lap as his hand reached, searching for the wound.

The slickness of the blood against the small man's skin was something he couldn't allow himself to contemplate.

"_Aya_…" he whispered, voice sounding strange and hollow. He pressed his hand against the wound as if doing so would make the bleeding stop.

Dark eyelashes fluttered against pale cheeks. He caught a glimpse of those brilliantly purple orbs for just a moment.

"Aya? Hang on, okay?"

With his free hand, he brushed long strands of crimson hair out of Aya's face before bowing his head over the small man.

"I love you."

* * *

TBC

**Response to unsigned reviews:**

**steffi - **Wow! Thanks! So glad you like.

**GuiltyAmethyst - **And how do you feel after this one?

**glinwulf - **I think what you're referring to waiting for is going to happen even later than you expect. Ooops.

**Cat70 - **Wow. Where would someone wear that shirt? Walmart? Giggles. Aw. I heart my stalkers.

**Moon without a Sun - **thankies!

**Ellen-chan - **Blushes. Thank you very much.

Okay, that's it. Thanks everyone! See you next time!


	18. Clothes Make the Man

I only managed to send out one of two review responses this week. My apologies, and plase don't be upset with me. Even you you don't get a response, reast assured that I read and enjoy every single review I recieve. If you have any questions or comments for me that you really want to get a response on, garunteed, then please remember that my email and LJ are always open. You can find addresses for both in my profile.

**A note: **the identity of the attacker is not important for the plot of this story, and was even, I recently discoered, left out in the original writing. If unanswered questions like this bother anyone, then let me just tell you about him here. He's a classmate of Aya-chan's going through some stuff, getting desperate. When he saw her on the street, he was really only trying to get help, but was not in an emotional state to adequatley convey this. When Aya went chasing after him, he became scared and, thus, shot. I'm sure the poilce picked him up eventually.

* * *

Aya awoke in a hospital bed.

He scowled weakly at the equipment he found taped to his arms, deciding he liked it even less than the fuzzy feeling in his head.

"Aya?"

He turned his head automatically at the sound of the familiar voice. For a moment he almost didn't believe his eyes at the sight of the tall man standing near the window, looking almost afraid to approach.

"Yoh…?" his voice came out a rasp, his throat dry and painful.

"Here, _Veilchen_. Drink this."

Schuldig was on his other side, holding a paper cup. Aya accepted the straw between his lips, eagerly drinking down the cold water as he stared his unasked questions at his beautiful, flame haired lover.

Schuldig's face lost a bit of the stress it had been wearing and he smiled.

"You gave us quite a scare, you silly kitty."

The other side of the bed sank in as Yohji tentatively sat down beside him and Aya turned his eyes to the obviously-spooked blonde.

"Aya?" Yohji whispered.

"What happened?" he managed to ask at last, looking between the two of them. He felt so weak and helpless, and that annoyed him, but at least he was with people he trusted.

Yohji paled a little and looked to Schuldig. Almost immediately Aya felt the now-familiar, gentle brush as Schuldig's mind entered his like a soft breeze.

Fear for Aya-chan. Fury at her attacker. The pain of the shot.

And finally a last, fuzzy image of Yohji leaning over him, calling his name.

"Luckily it missed anything vital," the telepath said out loud. "Though you _did_ almost bleed to death before the ambulance arrived. Your dear sister couldn't find a store that was still open." his lovely, generous lips quirked in a small, amused smile. "Finally, she just jumped a random pedestrian and stole his cell."

"That's my girl." Aya muttered fondly, closing his eyes.

"She was here earlier." Yohji said quietly. "We made her leave after a few hours though. She needed to get some sleep. She'll be back later though."

Aya nodded without opening his eyes. He felt so…tired.

"Have you two been here the entire time?"

"Yes."

"Kudoh only left your side for long enough to give me a call."

Aya forced his eyes to open and smiled at them.

"I love you," he told them both.

"Sweetheart," Schuldig leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "You're on so many drugs right now – you'd say that to Taketori himself."

Aya attempted to glare.

"I would not."

"You've already said it to three of your nurses." Yohji said gently. "And one intern. That one keeps trying to get us to leave so he can give you a sponge bath."

Once again Aya attempted to glare.

If only he wasn't so _tired_.

"I mean it for you two." he insisted.

"We know. Remember to repeat it when you're feeling more sincere."

Aya managed to glare for only a little while longer before sleep claimed him.

* * *

"So. He was already unconscious when you told him."

Yohji shrugged helplessly and leaned down to brush long strands of crimson hair out of the sleeping man's face.

"It's probably better this way…" he said quietly.

"Kudoh! You fell in love with him again, even without all of your memories. If he knew that…"

"He'll think I only said it because I thought he was dying." Yohji shook his head. "I'll wait, and when the time is right, I'll tell him again."

"Romantic, I guess." Schuldig sighed.

"Why do you even care? Shouldn't you be glad he doesn't know?"

A shrug.

"Whatever."

* * *

They'd had to push back the tentative plans they'd made with Omi because of Aya's hospital stay, but Aya was adamant that they not delay it any longer than strictly necessary.

"I thought you'd be glad for the delay." Yohji said quietly, pulling his fingers slowly through Aya's hair. He didn't seem to even notice that he was doing it.

The three of them were all squeezed snugly onto Aya's hospital bed, Aya in the middle. They had been that way for several hours now.

Aya shook his head, the action serving to snuggle him more securely between the two men. Maybe it was the drugs, but he had decided that he was going to enjoy this attention for as long as it lasted.

"I need to see him," he said quietly. "I need to hear his story of the night you died. I need to watch his eyes while he tells it."

"Our Aya still feels that your young friend may be somehow connected." Schuldig explained, his voice a low and comforting rumble from where Aya's head rested against his chest.

"Surely the chibi wouldn't be capable of hurting me – _us_ – like that."

"You don't remember what he was like at the end. He's…" a yawn inturruped Aya briefly. His medication was kicking in. "A Taketori now." he finished.

Silence for a long while.

"But the meeting." Yohji said at last. "You'll only be home a few days before you have to see him. Are you sure you'll be ready?"

"No." Aya mumbled, already drifting off to sleep.

"I'll be there when he meets him." Schuldig stated as Aya was claimed completely by sleep. "I'll be somewhere unobtrusive. Neither will notice me, but I'll be close enough to offer assistance should he need it."

"I want to be there, too."

"We can't risk it if he _is_ involved."

"Schuldig…"

"I know you're worried, _Sonnenschein_." Schuldig's voice was warm with affection. "You can trust me."

"I _do_ trust you, Schuldig. It's fate that's out to get me."

The German barked out a laugh.

"Don't be trite now, _Sonnenschein_!"

"I'm stuck with only half my memories of my entire life. You think that fate _doesn't_ have it in for me?"

"Maybe it's not fate. Maybe it's just the people you hang around."

"If that's the case, then you're the one I should be the most worried about."

"Too true." Schuldig reached across Aya's slumbering form and gently brushed his fingertips across Yohji's cheek. The blonde met his eyes.

"What are we going to do, Schuldig?"

"About what?"

"Me. You. Aya. All of this."

Silence but for the soft sound of Aya's breathing.

At last Schuldig sighed.

"I don't know." He admitted quietly.

* * *

Yohji and Schuldig were furious at him.

They had just been walking through the front door when the phone had begun to ring. Omi, wanting to reschedule their meeting again.

"I've had an emergency come up and won't be in the country on Thursday. Can we do it today?"

Aya had agreed without consulting the others.

They were _furious_.

Changing into real clothes all by himself hadn't been pleasant.

Neither had been driving himself to the restaurant.

Aya gritted his teeth and forced himself to walk as if he weren't in pain. Omi didn't know about the recent hospital visit, and Aya would prefer to keep it that way. He didn't want to worry a former friend, true, but also, his every instinct screamed against revealing even the slightest sign of weakness to someone who may be capable of destroying everything he cared about.

Omi – no, Mamoru, Aya reminded himself sternly – was already sitting at a booth as Aya entered the restaurant. Oddly enough, he was not alone.

The young man rose quickly as Aya approached, a bright smile lighting his open and honest face. He had grown taller in the nearly two years since Aya had last seen him, and seemed to have taken on a culture or evidence – a sophistication unprecedented for Weiss' former strategist.

"Taketori," Aya greeted coolly, stopping a fair distance away from the young man. Out of reach, certainly.

Mamoru's face fell. Perhaps he'd expected a hug.

"There's no reason to be so formal, Ayan," he said quietly. Omi would have pouted. Mamoru just looked disappointed. "You…ah…didn't bring Yotan?"

"No." Aya answered coldly.

Mamoru looked hurt.

"You _can't_ think that I had anything to do with what's happened to him!"

"You told me he was dead."

"It was what _I_ was told!"

"I still can't be sure. I have a difficult time trusting in the word of a Taketori."

"Aya! When have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?"

"Most recently? You promised to come alone."

For a moment, the young man looked lost.

"He's my bodyguard, Ayan." he said helplessly. "I don't go anywhere without my bodyguard; it's too dangerous! Do you have any idea how many enemies I have now?"

"I can guess."

Mamoru only faltered for a moment.

"Anyway, it's not like he's a stranger," he said at last. "Surely you remember Nagi!"

"Prodigy?"

The young man still seated at the table bore little resemblance to the boy they had fought against all those years ago, or even the frightening powerhouse from the last mission.

Just by looking at him seated, Aya guessed that the young man was now taller than Mamoru, and broader through the shoulders. The dark suit he wore had no doubt been tailored specially for that body.

His hair was shorter than Aya had ever seen it, and obviously styled with product. A pair of designer sunglasses were perched atop his head.

Silent, he met Aya's eyes. There was no challenge to that gaze, yet somehow he managed to silently convey the message that he would become very dangerous should Aya do anything to threaten his charge.

"You're boyfriend dress you?" Aya demanded nastily, feeling grumpy.

A bright blush spreading across his face, the boy dropped his eyes.

"Aya! Don't be rude!"

"It was a joke."

Mamoru glared sternly at Aya for a few more moments. Finally the redhead sighed.

"I…apologize, Prodigy," he said reluctantly. But he felt the need to add: "But next time you should leave the dress-up games in the bedroom."

"_Aya_!"

"He reacted. Obviously, I hit a nerve." Aya took a seat at the table, secretly regretting his comment. If Nagi truly did have a lover, then letting Mamoru Taketori know about it could easily cause him the same kind of pain it had caused Aya.

"You didn't bring Schuldig with you?" Nagi asked quietly, staring down at the table. "You…you told Taketori-san that you had seen Schuldig."

"I had agents watching him for a few months," Mamoru confessed, "But then I had to pull them for a mission. Now no one can find him."

"Good."

"Aya…"

"I wanted this meeting because I wanted to talk to you without Ken around. Can we get down to business, or should I just leave?"

* * *

TBC

**Response to Unsigned Reviews: **Sorry. Since I didn't get out responses to the signed ones, there won't be any for the unsigned ones, either. Please don't let that stop you from reviewing!


	19. Comfort

A gentle thread of power was all that was needed to cloud the minds of the three at the table and keep them from noticing his presence or that of his companion.

He hadn't wanted to bring Yohji, but hadn't been able to refuse him after the stunt Aya had pulled by agreeing to meet the Taketori brat early.

Besides, if something went wrong, it could very well take the both of them to help or hinder Aya, depending on the situation.

So far, Schuldig was impossibly proud of his crimson haired lover. His vicious little kitty was facing down the Taketori heir just as single-mindedly as he faced down any other challenge.

"He's amazing, isn't he?" Yohji asked quietly, eyes bright and warm as he watched the redhead bestow his infamous glare on the two other men at his table.

Anyone who happened to glance at Yohji and Schuldig would see nothing more than an elderly couple sharing a slice of cake and discussing the weather. Still, Schuldig had yet to fully recover from the damage Yohji's barrier's had done to him, and the suggestion was weak. Aya could easily break it if they gave him reason to try.

"When are you going to tell him?" Schuldig demanded.

Yohji looked away from Aya to scowl at him.

"Stop pushing."

"You're hesitating because you care for me, too, and you don't want Aya to push me away just because he can have you again."

"I thought you were supposed to stay out of my mind."

"You're just easy to read. It's obvious that you still want me – still almost love me – no matter what your feelings for our fair _Veilchen_."

Yohji began to glare and Schuldig fought the temptation to use his powers to pry the confirmation he sought from the blonde's mind. With the barriers in place, doing something like that would only hurt them both.

Still, there was always the terrifying possibility that he could be wrong. That the assumption that Yohji's feelings for him hadn't stopped when he had begun to fall in love with Aya was completely wrong.

At last, Yohji sighed and looked away, returning to staring at Aya and the others.

"Just shut up and hold my hand, okay?" the blonde groused.

* * *

"I don't know what to tell you, Ayan." Mamoru said with a helpless shrug. "That night the doctor came to me privately and told me that Yotan had died. I thought it would be better if someone who actually knew you both, knew what you shared, to break the news to you, so I asked if I could be the one. I…I thought it would be easier for you, somehow…"

Aya watched his former friend closely, but could find no indication as to whether or not he was lying. Omi Tsukiyono had always been easy to read, but Mamoru Taketori…

Aya found himself wishing for Schuldig.

"You didn't see _anything_ suspicious?" he pressed. "The doctor didn't _do_ or _say_ anything to give away that he might be lying?"

"No!" eyes large, Mamoru shook his head. "If I had thought for even a _moment_ that he was alive, I would have told you, Ayan! I saw what losing him did to you!"

Aya glanced at Prodigy and found the boy glaring down at their table with a scowl.

"And what about you?" he demanded.

The young man didn't answer.

"Nagi already worked for me by then, Ayan." Mamoru informed him. "He wasn't involved. He _couldn't_ have been."

"You trust him so much?"

"Yes," he smiled. "I do."

Aya closed his eyes and bowed his head. He'd hoped that seeing Omi would do _something_, give him _some_ kind of answer, but instead he found himself just as lost as before.

And if he didn't find the telepath who had stolen Yohji's memories, he might never have the man back.

"When are we meeting Ken?" Mamoru asked.

"A week from tomorrow. Two o'clock. Lobby of Ken's hotel." Aya answered emotionlessly, refusing to open his eyes. Every once of energy he had summoned to make it to this meeting was gone. He felt as if hr had been co close to giving Yohji back his life, and now…

"And…Yohji will be there?"

"Yes," Aya answered absently.

His eyes snapped open as he felt a hand come down to cover his shoulder. Mamoru, pale, was staring at him.

"Time's up. Cinderella needs to get home before he turns into a pumpkin," a familiar, accented voice informed the table.

Aya looked up, staring at Schuldig even as the man leaned down to him, wrapped both arms around his shoulders, and nuzzled a light, playful kiss into his neck.

"Cinderella doesn't turn into a pumpkin." Prodigy said quietly, staring at the telepath with an unreadable expression.

The flame haired man gave a deep, masculine laugh as he pressed his cheek against Aya's.

"Oh no? In any case, it's time I steal him away."

"Why are _you_ here?" Mamoru demanded quietly.

"Why not?" Somehow Schuldig managed to help Aya to his feet while making it appear as if he was doing nothing more than groping him. While somewhat embarrassing, it did help to hide how weak Aya had suddenly become. Rather than be irritated for the help, as well as the display, Aya found himself nothing but thankful for his lover's presence, as well as the familiar, comforting weight of his touch.

Schuldig gave Nagi a grin.

"You're looking good, kid," he observed. "Did your boyfriend pick out that outfit for you?"

* * *

Yohji was waiting for them outside, just as Schuldig had asked him to.

His eyes were full of pure relief as he watched Schuldig help Aya out the door.

"Everything…ah…go okay?"

Aya directed his glare at Schuldig, who was no longer trying to hide the fact that he was supporting him.

"You brought Yohji?" he demanded, clearly displeased.

"It's my fault. I wouldn't let him leave me behind." Yohji reached for Aya, taking the place on his other side. Just the fact that the small man was _allowing_ their help gave worrying evidence to just how weak he must be feeling.

"I'll tell you about it later," Aya decided quietly. "Right now I just want to go home."

"We can do that." Schuldig promised, sharing a worried glance with Yohji over the smaller man's head.

* * *

The clock read one twenty in the morning.

So why the hell was he up and fully, impossibly awake, dressed only in a pair of pajama bottoms as he paced the hallway?

"Damn it!" he hissed under his breath, glancing at the closed door.

He _couldn't _sleep. Sleep…wasn't even a consideration. And staying in his room to wait it out had stopped being an option when the dark and still solitude of the night had pressed into form true claustrophobia.

He couldn't stay still, couldn't allow himself to think. Couldn't…

"Damn it!" he hissed again, and reached for the doorknob.

_Just a peek_…

Moonlight spilled in from the window to splash across the couple in the bed, illuminating a pale, bare limb here, a hint of red or orange there.

Schuldig lifted his head only for long enough to smirk cheekily at him.

_Don't speak, _Sonnenschien_; he is a light sleeper._

The telepath's bare arms and chest seemed to be made of marble in the darkness and moonlight. The smallest edge of the blanket, spread negligently across his hips, was all that kept him from true nudity.

His silent words brought Yohji's attention down to the small man in his arms. The redhead seemed to be wearing a pair of flannel pajamas much too large for him. The shirt was unbuttoned, but the perfect beauty of his pale chest and abs was marred by the thick bandages that encircled him. The soft-looking pants he wore rode low enough to expose the deliciously sharp jut of his hip bones.

Yohji decided to try thinking _at_ Schuldig, unwilling to risk awakening Aya.

_I thought you were supposed to be cutting back on the mind shit._

Schuldig seemed pleased with the attempt.

_I'm not in far enough for it to harm either of us_, he answered, resting his chin atop Aya's head and continuing to smirk wickedly. Though no other 'words' followed, Yohji could feel the telepath's silent invitation, the pull of his sinfully glinting eyes.

_Won't Aya mind?_

_Don't be an idiot._

Yohji found himself walking toward the bed.

While Aya had been in the hospital, no matter how the nurses had threatened and complained, Yohji and Schuldig had made it a point to climb into bed with Aya at every opportunity. There had been no discussion on the matter – it had simply happened.

And now Yohji couldn't sleep alone.

Aya didn't stir as the blonde carefully climbed into bed on his other side, or even as he molded himself against his back as tightly as he dared, still marveling at how perfectly the smaller man's body fit against his own.

He reached across Aya, and Schuldig's hand found and clasped his so that they were holding the slumbering man together.

Cautiously, Yohji let his head come to rest atop Aya's pillow.

His mind instantly stilled. Sleep was suddenly pulling heavily on him.

Schuldig squeezed his hand.

_You could have just _asked!

* * *

Yohji smiled softly to himself as he woke to find himself still in the bed Schuldig and Aya shared, tucked securely against Aya's warm back.

Schuldig had already left the bed, but Aya was still fast asleep – the effect of his medication, no doubt. Yohji wasn't sure he wanted the smaller man to catch him in his bed.

But neither did he want to get up.

Yohji decided that the risk of being caught was far more than worth a few more minutes in bed. The warmth of Aya's skin, the scent of his hair, the feel of his body pressed to close – these were all suddenly precious things. Perhaps at one time they had been familiar to him, but without his memories, the wonderful sensations were brand new – ready to be enjoyed all over again.

He loved Aya, and it had nothing to do with _remembering_ to love him. It was his beauty and his strength, his silences and rare smiles…_everything_ about him.

Yohji loved him. He wanted to be by his side forever.

Deep in his thoughts, Yohji at first didn't realize that he hand was moving, pulling gently through Aya's hair.

He brought his hand down to caress the other man's cheek and then brought it down over his arm. He hesitated only a moment before letting his hand come to rest atop the other man's slim hip.

Gods, but Aya was so _small_. Gaining courage, Yohji let his hand slide upwards to rest against the bandages that were wrapped around that delicate body. Aya seemed so fragile…he _was_ fragile, although he tried to hide it.

And he had come so close to dying. Had it taken just a little longer for help to arrive…had the bullet been off by just a little bit…Aya's beauty and strength would have been ripped from the world forever.

Carefully, Yohji slid his arm around Aya, letting it rest entirely across the bandage.

He held him like that, content, for several moments before he came to the realization that Aya was awake.

Aya slowly rolled onto his back as Yohji released him, and the blonde felt decidedly awkward as those brilliantly purple eyes turned to fix on him.

Aya was so damned difficult to read. Was he angry at finding Yohji in his bed? Was it wrong to have held him like that when Aya didn't even know he was there?

But…Aya loved him, didn't he?

"Yohji?" Aya asked at last.

"Schuldig said it was okay…"

Aya reached up, fingertips brushing Yohji's cheek, and the blonde acted on instinct.

He moved without thought, leaning down to kiss Aya's soft, inviting lips.

Aya was staring at him as he pulled away.

"Yohji?"

"Aya, I…I think there's something I should tell you."

Aya's eyes widened slightly in concern.

Yohji's words froze in his mouth. He realized that he was frightened.

Aya claimed to love him.

But…

Yohji shook his head, knowing that he could tell Aya – not yet. He didn't have all of his memories back yet, and there were things in those memories that Aya was dreading letting him see. Yohji was convinced that there was nothing in the world that could make him stop loving the small, beautiful man in his arms. Especially if he had loved him this much the first time around. There was nothing Aya could ever say or do…

But what if Yohji was wrong?

What if he received the memories Aya was dreading so desperately and found that his love wasn't strong enough? What if he _couldn't_ forgive Aya?

It would be cruel beyond words for the both of them id Aya promised his love now and took it away again later.

"Yohji?"

He shook his head.

"Never mind," he answered. He sat up and raked his fingers back through his hair, calling himself nine kinds of idiot. "It's stupid."

"It certainly is." Schuldig drawled from the doorway, voice dangerously cold. Somehow, Yohji knew that the man was angry at him for _not_ telling Aya.

"I'm going to go get a shower." Yohji mumbled, refusing to look at either of them as he climbed out of the bed and quickly fled the room.

* * *

Schuldig's eyes followed Yohji as the man left the room and Aya self-consciously began to sit up.

"Don't – let me help you." Schuldig closed the door and crossed to the bed. By the time he sat down next to Aya, the smaller redhead was already sitting. "Aya…" Schuldig scolded.

"I'm not an invalid." Aya glared.

Chuckling softly, Schuldig brushed stray strands of hair out of Aya's face and leaned in to place a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"I like to help you, _Veilchen_…" he leaned in for a better kiss, and Aya let him.

"What was Yohji going to tell me?" he asked as the telepath pulled away.

Schuldig frowned.

"It isn't my place to say, kitty." he pulled aside the open folds of Aya's shirt and began to examine the bandages. "Any pain this morning?"

"No."

"Don't lie to me."

"Nothing worth mentioning." Aya amended reluctantly. "Schuldig?"

"What?"

"You invited Yohji to sleep with us last night?"

"Don't act like you aren't happy about it."

"I'm not unhappy, but…"

"Do you want some medicine?"

"Maybe after breakfast. Schuldig…"

The telepath looked up, meeting his eyes at last in a gaze that utterly silenced him.

"Don't ask me questions I don't know the answer to, _Veilchen._ I want you to be happy. I will do whatever I can to see that happen. Let us leave it at that, shall we?"

"But Schuldig…"

"Our situation is complicated. Too complicated to try to understand with words. We'll only hurt ourselves if we try. Better to wait and let things sort themselves out on their own."

Aya caught his face in his hands and kissed him.

"I understand all that," he murmured against his lips. "But I was trying to thank you, you stupid bastard."

"Oh." Schuldig gave a chuckle, low and masculine, and leaned in to return the kiss.

Aya began to lean backwards into the bed, pulling Schuldig with him, but stopped with a hiss of pain as his movement pulled at his wound.

Schuldig sat up with a groan, raking his hands through his hair so that he was almost pulling it out.

"You're trying to kill the both of us, aren't you?" he demanded hoarsely.

"Sorry, Schu. I forgot."

"If that wound reopens, I _will_ make you pay for it, _Veilchen_."

Aya tried to summon the will to glare and, finding he couldn't, settled for a smile.

"At the very least," Schuldig murmured, "This settles it."

"Settles what?" Aya asked, enjoying the way the early morning light made his lover's wild spill of hair shine.

"No more kissing until you're healed." the telepath sighed.

"Excuse me?"

The flame haired man sighed, and when he spoke, he chose his words slowly, as if explaining something difficult to someone beyond understanding. "Kissing you," he explained, "Makes me want to fuck you." A grin spread across the telepath's face, though he refused to meet Aya's eyes. "And your doctor said…"

"You really are evil aren't you?" Aya demanded.

"I know you're disappointed, but it's your fault for getting yourself shot. You'll just have to try to contain your nymphomania for a few more weeks."

"_I_ am _not_ the nympho in this relationship!"

"Darling. I've _never_ met anyone who enjoyed being fucked as much as you do. And trust me, there's been plenty."

Aya felt his face inflame, but this time had no problem summoning a glare. He hit Schuldig with his pillow and Schuldig, laughing, rose quickly from the bed.

"Come now, _Veilchen_," he said, offering his hands. "Let's get you a shower before breakfast, all right?"

Still glaring, Aya ignored the offered hands and rose on his own. He allowed Schuldig to put an arm around his shoulders, however, and lead him to the bathroom.

"I'm not a nympho." he stated at last, crossing his arms as Schuldig turned on the shower to let the water run and warm up a little.

"No?" the telepath asked lightly, turning back to him. He slid Aya's pajama shirt off and began to unwrap his bandages. He rolled his eyes upwards to give the smaller redhead a wicked look. "You _don't_ enjoy it when I fuck you?"

"Of course I do."

"You enjoy it a _lot_, don't you?"

"Having a pleasant time does not make me a nympho!"

A quiet laugh. Schuldig tossed the used bandages into the trash and took a moment to examine the wound before brushing his lips across it in a featherlight touch.

"You've always been delightfully talented at denial, kitty." Schuldig rose and smiled at Aya, softening his teasing. "The water is probably ready. Can you handle this on your own, or do you want me to stay?"

Aya looked at Schuldig and suddenly found himself reminded of the day the man had declared his designs on him. The telepath had declared that by the time Aya realized he was in love with him, it would be too late to stop it.

Aya wondered when he'd begun to love the wicked, wonderful man – and how the emotion had every become so overwhelmingly strong.

"You can stay," he stated quietly, offering a smile. "I might need you to wash my back."

"Just remember – no fooling around!" the telepath teased, reaching to "help" him out of his pajama bottoms.

Aya stopped him, pulling him into a tight embrace. He knew that whatever else happened, Schuldig would always be happy to hold him for as long as he needed.

* * *

TBC

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

brown eyed girl - well, I'm in love with reviews, so I guess that makes us even! Thanks so much for reading!

Moon without a Sun - "bittersweet?" (tapes over mouth before too much can be said)

steffi - that makes me so happy! Hope you enjoyed it!


	20. Necessary Tasks

This is a _fun_ chapter. Don't kill me for the cliffhanger at the end.

Don't have time for edits. Get over it. All my love, Kit.

* * *

The phone rang as Schuldig was helping Aya get dressed.

"I think I can manage to finish this on my own." Aya said, quietly amused, as his lover seemed quite unable to slide his pajama bottoms over his hips without groping him in the process.

Schuldig gave him a grin and kissed him quickly before going for the phone. Aya quickly tied the drawstring on his pants.

"I'm going to head to the kitchen," he said as Schuldig picked up the phone. The telepath nodded and tossed him a towel, motioning for him to dry his hair with it.

Aya left the room with a smile on his lips. If anyone else had tried to take care of him the way Schuldig was, they would have found themselves in serious pain. There was something about Schuldig's undivided attention, his wicked smirk, his teasing yet helpful hands, that made being taken care of…enjoyable.

Yohji was in the kitchen when Aya walked in, and the lanky man was utterly preoccupied leaning on the counter, shouting obscenities at the toaster.

"Are you arguing with an appliance?" Aya asked before he could stop himself, raising one slim eyebrow.

Yohji jumped, spinning quickly to face him. For a moment, the awkwardness of the morning returned.

It vanished fairly quickly, however, as Yohji offered him a lopsided grin.

"Bob's decided to be difficult this morning," he stated, nearly sheepish.

Aya felt ice water run through his veins.

"You…you named the toaster Bob?"

"Yeah – cute, right? Just popped into my head." Yohji cast the toaster one last glare before moving to take a seat at the kitchen island. He looked at Aya for a long moment before sighing and ducking his head. "Look. About this morning…"

"Don't."

"I feel like I should say something."

Aya sighed and crossed the room, taking the seat next to Yohji.

"I'm sorry you were put in that position, Yohji. If you think sleeping with us is going to be too difficult for you, just say so – I won't get offended."

"Difficult?"

"You're attracted to me, and you're attracted to Schuldig. It's not your fault if your body responds."

"Aya…you're sexy as hell, but that isn't why I kissed you this morning." Yohji dropped his eyes. He gave a small half-laugh and shook his head. "Hell. Why does everything have to be so damned complicated? Aya, I…"

"It's okay."

Yohji looked up as Aya put a hand on his knee. Aya was careful to hold his eyes.

"I've been careful not to pressure you…but I _do_ love you, Yohji. I never stopped loving you. When you get your memories back…please be kind to me and remember what I'm telling you right now."

"Do I _have_ to get the rest of my memories, Aya?"

"Don't you want to be yourself again?"

"Yes, but…Aya, I don't want to hate you."

The two stared at each other, too much left unsaid between them.

"This morning…" Aya said at last. "You kissed me because you wanted to?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"Kiss him again, will you? _Mein Gott_! If you two keep acting this way, you'll never make any progress!" Schuldig tsked, coming into the room.

"Who was on the phone?" Aya asked.

"No, no. I'm not telling until I see some lip-on-lip action here." Schuldig crossed his arms and smirked, waiting.

The tension in the room broke. For the second time that day, Yohji reached for Aya and kissed him.

Aya's head was spinning by the time it ended.

He didn't, however, miss the smirk Yohji and Schuldig shared. Aya scowled, feeling certain that they were ganging up on him.

"Who was on the phone?" he demanded.

"You aren't going to like it."

"Schuldig."

He smirked.

"Telemarketer."

* * *

He had been planning this for a while.

Actually, for most of the time he'd been "planning" it, it had really been nothing more than a passing thought. Something he thought he _should_ do, but hadn't yet decided if he _could_.

A part of him did love her, after all. Asuka – or whatever the hell her name really was. Despite the lies, she was still his wife, and although his memories had been stolen, and she had been paid to be receptive to his advances, to take the name of his first love, no one had been there pressuring _him_ to propose to her.

Realizing how he felt for Aya though had pushed him past "thinking about it" and into "planning to do it."

Schuldig had agreed that it was a good idea.

"Even if the worst-care-scenario that the _Veilchen_ has in mind comes to pass and your full memories _do_ make you hate him, would you really want to remain bound to a woman who had been _paid_ to love you?"

The conversation was still as clear in his mind as if it had happened yesterday. It had actually occurred the night of Aya's attack. The delicate redhead had just gotten out of surgery, and Schuldig had managed to "procure" him a private room. It had to have been at least an hour before sunrise, and Yohji had been sitting on the hospital bed clutching Aya's hand like a lifeline.

He had been incredibly envious of Schuldig's apparent calm as he sat in the open window smoking a cigarette and staring out at the stars. Yohji knew the telepath had been just as torn up with worry as he had, but at least he'd managed to _look_ calm.

Yohji had gone to his lawyer the very next day.

The papers were all in order now, and Yohji found himself more convinced than ever that divorcing Asuka was the right thing to do.

He loved Aya. Aya loved him.

Schuldig…

He had no idea how he felt about Schuldig, or how the telepath felt in return, but there was definitely _something_ between them. Something he would be happy to look into if he thought that Aya would let him.

Of course, he didn't expect anything to work out as well as the happy little fantasy he had going on in his head. Out of the three of them, at least one, if not all, would end up hurt.

But at the moment, things were so close to working that he almost had himself convinced.

Schuldig had helped him to plan this out. He'd wanted to do it alone, and hadn't wanted Aya to find out until it was over. The telepath had only been too happy to help.

"The _Veilchen_ and I need some…quality time…anyway."

"But you can't have sex yet. His wound…"

"Did I say anything about sex, _Sonnenschein?_"

"No, but I know the way you operate."

Schuldig had shaken his head, amusement plain, and raised his right hand.

"I swear that I have nothing of the sort planned," he vowed seriously. "I would never want to hurt him – even I'm not that selfish. I merely meant that…"

Yohji narrowed his eyes.

"It's not like you to hesitate over anything. Spill it."

The telepath responded with a wicked grin.

"Too much of his attention has been focused on you lately," he stated with a playful pout. "I'm just going to…remind him of everything I have to offer, so that when he _does_ get around to choosing between the two of us, there will be plenty of competition."

There had been no malice in his voice, no bitterness. Schuldig was just as unsure about what he really wanted as the rest of them.

Abruptly the telepath laughed.

"And as for the sex thing, it's _Aya_ you have to worry about. The man likes sex."

"He's going to hurt you if he hears you talking like that."

A shrug.

"Sounds kinky."

Yohji had been helpless – he'd found himself with no choice but to laugh. He leaned forward and Yohji let him kiss him. The first kiss was a quick, casual thing.

The second one was not.

They pulled apart, lightly out of breath but both grinning madly, and returned to forming their plans as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

It was a strange relationship, but it worked.

* * *

Asuka paled to an almost deathly pallor when she opened the door to find him outside. It took a full ten minutes, in which she did nothing but gape at him, before she could recover her senses enough to pretend to be happy to see him.

"Y…Yohji!" she managed at last, managing to smile as she moved to embrace him.

He took a step back, anger washing through him in a hot wave.

"H…haven't you come back to me, dear?"

"You're smarter than that," he answered coldly. "Can I come inside?"

"Inside?"

"You don't really want to do this outside, do you?"

She didn't. More than anything in the world "Asuka" cared about what her neighbors thought of her. She stepped back to let him into the house.

"Do…do you want something to drink? Water? Soda?"

"Anything stronger?"

Her cheeks flushed.

"I threw it out. I told everyone that…that I had kicked you out because you had a drinking problem. They believed me, but I had to throw out everything we…"

Yohji stopped listening. They hadn't kept much alcohol in the house, but it was a shame it was now all gone. He could have used _something_.

Seeing Asuka only reminded him that he loved her. He had been the one to propose to her, after all, even if she had been paid to pretend to love him.

"Is it really true?" he asked, voice breaking. He hadn't meant to ask her. He'd wanted to get her to sign the papers and then leave as soon as possible.

But he had to know.

"Everything between us was a lie the entire time?"

"Yohji…"

"Lying bitch!" he hissed, turning away so she couldn't see the pain in his eyes.

"I did like you, Yohji!" she pled, tears in her voice. She touched his back tentatively. "Maybe…maybe we could still make it work. I could fall in love with you, I think. I could…"

"And live out the rest of my life wondering if you really loved me or were still getting paid? No, Asuka."

"Yohji…I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"He'd angry with me for letting you find out. Couldn't you stay with me, just to keep me safe?"

"I can't, Asuka. I can't trust you."

"Yohji…"

"Who did it, Asuka?" he asked quietly, laying the divorce papers on the coffee table.

"Yohji?"

"We can do this cleanly. Quietly. You can tell the neighbors whatever you want to about me, and keep all our stuff. But you have to tell me. Asuka, who stole my life?"

* * *

TBC

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

Moon without a Sun - Grins

steffi - didn't last long, did it?

CaT70 - awww. Thanks.

arcanelight - sweet tooth?


	21. Prices

Due to time constraints, there will be no review response to this chapter. My deepest apologies! Please don't let that stop you from reviewing, because I do read and appreciate each and every one more than you could possibly know. If you had any questions for the previous answer that you really need answered, please contact me via LJ or email.

Out of them all, this chapter may have been the most fun to write.

* * *

Aya didn't know what was going on, but everything inside him that had ever been hurt was thriving on the attention.

Schuldig had woken him up early with kisses and teasing. He had "helped" him to shower and dress and taken him out to breakfast, saying only of Yohji: "He's gone to get you a surprise. You and I have all glorious day to ourselves."

Aya loved Yohji, but that didn't change the fact that he loved Schuldig, too.

And it had been far too long since he had spent some quality time with his telepath.

It was…nice.

So nice, in fact, that Aya found himself smiling and laughing, even flirting, with his companion. Schuldig's company had always been enjoyable, thrilling, exciting, but it was even moreso without the weight of Yohji's "death" hanging over Aya.

He was in love and he was bound and determined to enjoy it to its fullest.

At least for today.

He had learned, after all, how temporary such happiness could be, and he didn't intend to be fool enough to waste it again.

It had been a good day.

Every day had been a good day, every since he had woken in the hospital bed to find them both at his side. A part of him suspected that this new, wonderful existence was too good to last.

The rest of him was too happy to listen.

Aya and Schuldig had been laying together on the couch for nearly two hours now, Aya half-napping and Schuldig seemingly content to amuse himself by simply holding him, stroking his arm or hair, kissing him.

When Yohji walked in, the troubled expression on his face vanished immediately at the sight of them. He crossed the room quickly to kneel beside the couch. Without preamble, he cupped the back of Aya's head and leaned forward to kiss him – a wonderfully solid, heated kiss.

Schuldig gave the blonde a slow, languorous smirk as the taller man drew back.

"Is it done?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"What?" Aya asked.

Yohji looked at him, but kissed him again, rather than answering. Aya realized that there was something desperate about him that had nothing to do with passion. When the kiss ended, the blonde gathered him almost too tightly in his arms and buried his face against his shoulder.

"_Aya_…" he murmured, clutching him to him.

"Whatever is the matter, _Sonnenshein_?" Schuldig asked in concern, reaching to brush his fingers through Yohji's hair.

"Nothing." Yohji was obviously lying. It was also obvious that he had no intention of otherwise answering. "Just let me stay here. With you."

* * *

In the remaining days leading up to their meeting with Ken and Omi, Yohji was very quiet. He at last told Aya that he had gone to break his ties with his wife, but he refused to say anything else, refused to tell either of them what was wrong.

During those days, though he was quiet, he was also more affectionate than usual with both Aya and Schuldig. They certainly couldn't _ask_ him what was wrong. They were both enjoying the increase in affection, and didn't want him to think otherwise.

But they knew that _something_ was bothering him, and Aya wouldn't let Schuldig use his powers to find out. They were stuck, wondering.

* * *

"You two are going to behave yourselves, aren't you?" Ken asked by way of greeting as the trio walked into the lobby of his hotel.

"'Two'?" Aya asked.

A grin spread across his face.

"I think I can trust _Yohji_, at least, to behave."

"Hell," Yohji mumbled, "Someone must have messed with _your_ memories, too."

Aya looked at him sharply as Ken laughed, but Yohji refused to look at him. Today whatever had been bothering him seemed to be worse than ever.

Schuldig just stared at Ken as the former athlete offered his hand to shake.

"If Aya can put up with you, then I can, too." Ken explained with a smile. "Truce?"

"He agrees." Aya said before Schuldig could take the opportunity to make an ass out of himself.

"You speak for me now, _Veilchen_?"

"Yes."

"At least pretend to hesitate before answering!" the telepath laughed, glancing over his shoulder as the lobby doors opened once more.

"Am I the last to arrive?" Mamoru Taketori asked pleasantly, entering with Nagi at his heels.

Ken greeted the youngest former Weiss with a smile and a hug. "I guess the party's all here then. Should we go upstairs?"

A characteristically huge smile spread itself across Mamoru's face as he returned Ken's hug and, over the athlete's shoulder, caught sight of Yohji.

"Yotan!" he greeted enthusiastically, eyes shining with moisture as he moved to hug the lanky blonde. "It's so wonderful to see yo-!"

His words were cut off sharply as, before he could touch him, Yohji pulled back and punched him. They all stood, frozen with surprise, as Mamoru went flying.

Yohji, body trembling with rage, moved as if to continue his assault, stopping only when Nagi neatly interjected himself into his path.

"Out of my way, Prodigy."

"I can't do that, Balinese."

"Bastard brings a damn bodyguard to a reunion – get up, Omi! Call off your dog, and get the hell up!"

The young man's hand went to his jaw, though he made no other move to get up.

"Yohji…_why_?"

"Don't! Don't you _dare_ play that innocent act with me!"

"Yohji – chill out, man. What's wrong?" Ken asked. He considered approaching, but dismissed the idea due to the fury literally radiating off his friend. "Can't we at least do this somewhere private?"

"No one will notice." Schuldig informed him in a quiet murmur.

For the first time, Ken glanced away from the confrontation and noticed for the first time that everyone else was going about their business as if they couldn't even see the group of former assassins.

"Get up, Omi!" Yohji raged.

"I don't want to fight with you, Yotan."

"That's too fucking bad, isn't it!"

Yohji made to push past Nagi and attack again. The former Schwarz didn't move, but suddenly Yohji went flying backwards to strike a wall.

Aya hurried to the blonde's side, though Schuldig stayed where he was. The telepath was staring at Mamoru and Nagi with a small, suspicious frown creasing his brow.

Yohji picked himself up slowly, brushing off Aya's hands as the small redhead tried to help him.

"Just tell me _why_, Omi!" he demanded.

Nagi had moved to help his employer to his feet. Mamoru looked up, eyes large and innocent.

"Why what, Yotan?" he asked helplessly. "What have I ever done to make you attack me like this?"

"Cut the act, Omi! You _stole_ Aya from me!"

* * *

The group became still and silent at Yohji's furious cry. The woman behind the lobby desk answered a ringing phone casually, neither hearing nor seeing them.

Mamoru had gone deathly pale at Yohji's accusation, but he attempted a humorous smile.

Aya began to shake as the truth hit him like a slap in the face.

"I don't know what these sillies have been telling you, Yotan," he said with a shaky smile. "But there's never been anything between Ayan and I. So how could I have possibly stolen him from you?"

"Don't. Don't pretend not to understand; don't pretend to be innocent!" Yohji's voice was quiet now, deadly. "You _made_ me forget him. You stole my memories, my _life_…my Aya."

"Fucking…bastard…" Aya whispered, staring in disbelief at the man he had once called friend.

All expression vanished from Mamoru's face, wiped away as completely as if it had never been.

"Ayan…Yotan…"

"I want my memories back, Omi."

"My name is Mamoru."

"No! You don't get to be Mamoru, Omi! That's just an escape so you won't feel bad about betraying your fucking friends! You are Omi-fucking-Tsukiyono, and you know _exactly_ what you've done!"

"It…he hurt you! You _wanted_ to forget!"

"It wasn't your job to make that happen!"

"You don't understand!"

Yohji took a threatening step forward, but stopped as Nagi stepped in front of him once more.

"You've got a week, Omi." Yohji informed him, dropping his fists. "Find the telepath you used to take my memories, and give them back to me."

"You…?"

"A week, Omi. Or I'll fucking kill you."

"You can try." Nagi said quietly.

"He won't be alone." Aya assured him.

"No," Schuldig agreed quietly. "He won't."

Silence passed among the group.

"Yohji…you wouldn't really…" Mamoru said at last. "You _couldn't_…"

"But _I_ could." Aya swore fiercely, eyes blazing with fury.

Mamoru dropped his eyes reluctantly and nodded.

* * *

The car ride home had been completely silent. Schuldig had been the only one steady enough to drive, and so he had taken the place behind the wheel, silently suggesting to Aya that he and Yohji sit in the back seat together.

Aya had agreed, and spent the ride pressed to the blonde's side, clutching his hand the entire time.

* * *

"Schuldig?"

The flame haired man glanced into the living room where Yohji had gone to sit – alone – when they'd come home. He reached out, absently brushing his fingertips against Aya's cheek before looking back to the smaller redhead.

"Go talk to Yohji," he requested quietly.

"You…aren't coming with me?"

A small smile. Schuldig drew Aya into his arms and held him tightly.

"This is Weiss business, and I've no place in it," he said quietly, nuzzling Aya's hair. "I'm going to go and make dinner – you take the privacy to work this out."

He pulled back only enough to kiss him, a gentle thing. Aya caught a glance at his lover's sad eyes before the telepath released him and headed for the kitchen.

Aya considered going after him, but knew he had to talk to Yohji.

Later. He wouldn't sleep tonight until he had spoken to the both of them.

* * *

"How did you know it was Omi?"

Yohji lifted his head from where it had been resting in his hands, and he stared at Aya as the man entered the room.

Aya returned his stare, eyes seeming to burn into his very soul, as he took a seat in the armchair across from the couch on which Yohji sat.

"I asked Asuka when I went to take the divorce papers to her," he answered at last, quietly.

"Aa."

Aya continued to study him, as if unsatisfied with his answer. Yohji leaned back in his chair, clenching his hands into fists.

"_Gods_. I want to kill him, Aya. I want to hurt him, make him suffer, and then I want to kill him."

"We'll get your memories back." Aya promised him quietly, unreadable as ever.

"It's not that he stole my memories." Yohji ground out, refusing to look at him.

"No?"

"He stole my memories of _you_, Aya. _You_!"

"Why does that matter more?" he asked softly.

"I love you, all right, Aya? I'm in love with you!" he glanced at Aya then, finding the man staring at him with clear surprise. "Is that all right with you?" he demanded. "I love you – and if I loved you half as much then as I do now, then losing you would have…" he hesitated, then shook his head. "It would have destroyed me."

"Yohji…"

"And he made me forget you."

He let silence fall, staring at Aya, Aya staring back at him. At last, Aya rose and crossed, sitting next to Yohji and reaching for his hand.

Yohji took it and squeezed it tightly, reaching with his other hand to cup Aya's face.

"I've wanted to tell you, Aya. I love you."

He leaned in to kiss him, but Aya drew back, fear in his eyes.

"I thought you would be happy." Yohji whispered. "Don't you want me to love you?"

"I am. I do."

"What's wrong then?"

"You said…you said that losing me would destroy you…but you've lost me before. I hurt you. I told you, remember?"

"Aya, I would forgive you _anything_."

"Don't give me promises neither of us can be sure of."

"There's nothing you could ever do or say to make me stop loving you, Aya. I swear it."

He reached for Aya, and this time the man let him. Yohji gathered him close and proceeded to do nothing more than hold him as tightly as possible.

* * *

It was a long time before Aya realized that they were being watched. The familiar weight of Yohji's arms around him, so tight and strong. The beating of his heart, the rhythm of his steady breathing.

The very scent of him.

It had all come together to lull him almost to sleep, forcing his doubts and fears and worries far away.

He was sure Yohji's eyes were closed, too. The blonde's fingers trailed slowly up and down his arm as he held him, and occasionally he would give a quiet hum of contentment.

But eventually, Aya realized that they were being watched. He opened his eyes and lifted his head.

Schuldig was standing with crossed arms, leaning his shoulder on the doorframe as he watched them with a strange, sad expression on his face.

"Schuldig…?"

"Don't get up," he said quietly. "You two look…sweet."

Aya sat up, concerned.

"Schuldig? What's wrong?"

He shook his head and gave a bittersweet smile.

"It's almost over, isn't it?" he asked.

"Over?"

"In a week, we'll have the telepath – and Yohji will have his memories back in full."

"So what?" Yohji asked quietly. Schuldig's eyes shifted to him for a moment, then back to Aya.

"So…" Schuldig sighed, shrugging with forced casualness. "Neither the _Sonnenshien_ nor I will hate you with the return of his memories. He'll want to be with you, and when it comes to time to choose, he'll be the one you decide you want to be with."

"Schuldig…"

"I know you love me – but you loved him first. I've had plenty of time to resign myself to the idea. At least I'll have the lovely image of the two of you to take with me."

"Who the hell ever said I had to choose?" Aya demanded, rising and taking two steps toward Schuldig.

Yohji sat up quickly. "What?"

"Why the hell do I have to choose between the two of you?"

Schuldig and Yohji exchanged surprised glances.

"You…weren't going to choose?"

"No," Aya glared. "I wasn't. I didn't…I don't…" he sighed, forced himself to take a deep breath. "You both love me, don't you?" he asked helplessly.

"Of course, _Veilchen_."

"I think we've established that."

Aya nodded once, sharply. "And I love both of you," he stated. "And you love each other."

"Do we?" Yohji glanced at Schuldig, who only nodded.

"So why choose?" Aya demanded, wrapping his arms around himself as if cold. "If this all came to it's conclusion without Yohji hating me…with you…you both still loving me…then why should I choose? Why couldn't we all just…love each other?"

Yohji rose soundlessly, moved to stand near Aya. He wanted to touch him, to hold him, but somehow found that he couldn't.

"It's a good idea," he said quietly.

"Yeah," Schuldig agreed, approaching. "A good idea."

* * *

TBC 


	22. Threat

WARNINGS for this chapter: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff. A completely crack conversation. And a LEMON. These fics are classified as romance for a _reason_.

You're getting this a little early because something came up. Unfortunatley, that means another chapter without review response. Please accept my apologies.

* * *

"Who set the alarm?"

"Just turn it off."

"But who - ?"

"Damn it, it was me, okay? I forgot."

"Just somebody shut up and turn it off."

An arm reached. The blaring alarm cut off.

Yohji rolled onto his other side, throwing his arm over one bed companion. His hand came to rest on the other sleeper's hip, so close were the three pressed together.

Aya smiled to himself, enjoying the warmth and the closeness of the two bodies pressed to his own.

It was a shame that the _sleeping_ was all that the bed had been used for lately. Neither of his lovers were willing to risk opening his wound, no matter how eager they were for sex. Aya, who had never done much in the way of self-preservation, had his own reasons for wanting to wait for just a little longer.

Until Yohji had his full memories, Aya's mind refused to fully believe that this would all work out. To have Yohji now, to allow himself to be happy with the two men he loved, and to have it all taken away when Yohji remembered the things he had done to him would utterly destroy him.

Nothing was keeping Schuldig and Yohji from going at it without him, however, but as far as he could tell, the two men seemed to have also decided to wait.

Nevertheless, more than once Aya had walked into a room to find them sitting close together…_plotting_. Even more often were the times he walked in to find them kissing or sharing heated caresses. The first time it had happened, Aya had been stopped dead in his tracks, surprised by how powerfully the sight affected him.

These were two men he loved. Two beautiful, wonderful, _incredible_ men – and watching them kiss had caused Aya's breath to catch. He had watched them with extreme interest until they had noticed him and pulled him into their arms.

Aya was frightened. Things were far too close to being perfect – which meant that something earth-shatteringly terrible would happen soon. That was just the way his life tended to work.

Beside him Schuldig shifted, and Aya reflexively tightened his arms around him.

A low, quiet chuckle filled the room.

"Let me up, _Veilchen."_

"Why?" he demanded, tightening his hold even more. Yohji's arm flexed, going even more securely around the both of them so that he could get a better hold on the telepath's hip.

Schuldig shifted again and managed to sit up a little to gaze down at the two of them.

Schuldig was always, Aya reflected, most beautiful in the mornings. The sun itself seemed to caress him – his pale, perfect muscles. His vibrant, sleep-tousled hair, falling around those wonderfully strong shoulders.

Perhaps Schuldig read his mind.

Or perhaps he just knew Aya well enough now to know, instinctively, what he was thinking.

The German's normally mirthful eyes grew soft with affection, and perhaps a little pride. His lips curled into a smile as he leaned down for a very thorough good morning kiss.

Yohji watched them lazily, winding his hand slowly in Schuldig's hair so that when the telepath at last drew back, he had a good hold on him.

"What about me?" the blonde asked, pouted halfheartedly.

Schuldig observed him coolly for a moment, then, slowly, grinned.

He had to lean over Aya to get to Yohji, but that was fine with all of them. Schuldig and Yohji had lost any hesitancy they may have had about reaching for each other, and seemed to have decided to take full advantage of Aya's "permission" for the three of them to be together.

"Kisses all out of the way?" Schuldig asked in a purr, drawing back. "Then I have to go make breakfast."

Yohji drew Aya into his arms and gave the Schuldig his best smoldering look.

"Wouldn't you rather…stay?" he asked suggestively.

"Cute, _Sonnenschien_. Too cute." he chuckled, sliding from the bed. "Cuddle the kitty. We can eat in bed today."

"You get to wash the sheets." Yohji drawled, unabashedly watching the telepath's nude form head for the door. Even before Aya had announced his intentions to keep both of them, Yohji had never once protested Schuldig's habit of casual nudity.

Aya, however, _had_ to protest. On principle.

"Put clothes on before going in that kitchen, Schu!" he called.

"_Veilchen…"_

"I said no. Put pants on, at least."

The telepath crossed his arms, observing him for a long moment. Finally, obviously fighting a grin, he nodded and marched himself into the closet.

He returned a few moments later in a pair of jeans.

"Hey!" Yohji protested. "Those are mine."

"So?" Schuldig countered intelligently, doing up the zipper carefully.

"Well, if you wanted to get into my pants so badly, there _are_ other ways."

"Clever, _Sonnenshien,_" he rolled his eyes. "I would have taken our _Veilchen's,_ but they were too small. Too…tight."

"Well," Yohji drawled, "Sometimes that helps." With a lecherous chuckle, he snuggled down next to Aya and began drifting off to sleep.

How strange and wonderful to have Yohji back in his life. Those strong, dependable arms, golden in the morning sunlight, were home for him.

The fear came rushing back.

He was stupid to be enjoying this so much. Stupid to snuggle and kiss – and want so much more! – with Yohji when he knew he couldn't keep him. When the blonde remembered the things Aya had done to him, he would be _furious_. Aya was taking advantage of his memory loss and his love. Yohji would leave him once he remembered everything, and Aya's actions now would only make them both hurt all the more when it happened.

Schuldig would be hurt, too, Aya realized with a pang of guilt. Schuldig loved them both. No matter what happened, they would all end up with broken hearts.

"Stop glaring and go back to sleep." Yohji mumbled.

"How did you…?"

Yohji snorted and gave him an affectionate squeeze.

"I'll…try." Aya promised reluctantly, closing his eyes and trying to enjoy this while it lasted.

Yohji hummed quietly for a moment, trailing his fingertips up and down Aya's arm.

"I dreamed about you last night." Yohji said at last, quietly.

"You…?"

"We were in the flower shop," the blonde yawned, brushing a sleepy kiss against Aya's bare shoulder. "You kept trying to tell me that a sunflower represented loyalty, and I kept trying to make you laugh with dirty jokes…" he gave a quiet laugh. "Anyway, I think I was _trying_ to flirt without letting you realize I was flirting. It was a good dream.

Silence passed a few moments. Aya was nearly back to sleep when realization struck him.

Without a word to Yohji, Aya quickly leapt from the bed and rushed to the kitchen.

* * *

Schuldig didn't bother turning around when he heard someone join him in the kitchen.

"Schuldig?"

"I thought we were going to eat in bed, _Veilchen_," the telepath said quietly. "I was looking forward to it."

"Aya!" Yohji whined, coming to join them. "Come back to bed!"

"Yohji, tell Schuldig about your dream."

"Why?"

"Please. Yohji."

Shrugging, the blonde did as asked, moving to pour himself a glass of juice as he did so.

"That's sweet," Schuldig said when he finished, not comprehending.

"It-really-happened." Aya informed him.

Both men stared at him. Schuldig only hesitated a moment before reaching for Yohji's mind.

It had been a while since he had dared go deep enough to touch memory, and that span of time almost made him forget the danger and the pain.

As he sunk below the layers of Yohji's mind, the barriers sprang to life like an electric fence. Maybe a striking snake would make a better analogy, he decided quickly, narrowly avoiding pain as the barrier _reached_ for him.

The barrier was there, and strong, and it had, if possible, grown even more vicious.

But, there at the very end of it, where Schuldig had stopped his careful work, the hateful creation was slowly but surely…unraveling.

"Our work must have damaged it." Schuldig said, quickly and gratefully withdrawing.

"What does it mean?" Aya pressed.

Schuldig turned back to the food, taking it off the hot eye of the stove.

"It means," he said cheerfully, "That even if that Taketori brat fails to bring the telepath, Yohji _will_ have his memories back one day." he shook his head, suddenly very unwilling to turn around to face the two men. "The downside, however, is that id he does have to do it naturally, it will be _years_ before he remembers everything…and even then, those memories will be patchy. Like dreams."

"And no sex until I remember everything."

"That's _not_ the most important part of this conversation, Yohji." Aya sighed. Schuldig heard a chair scrape behind him.

"Like hell it isn't!" Yohji answered. "Aya, love, as far as _I_ can tell, the three of us are _together_. We're in _love_. We _trust_ each other. Sex is the only thing left, and – damn it! – I'm not a eunuch!"

"You don't think _I_ want sex, too?" Aya demanded.

"I think you're scared!"

Silence. Schuldig stayed turned away from them though he had no other excuse for it.

"I told you," Aya said at last, quietly, "You and Schuldig can fuck without me. I won't mind."

"And have you mope around afterwards, convinced that we love each other more than we love you?" Schuldig at last commented, giving a small snort. "I know your mind, _Veilchen_. You love to torture yourself."

"And I haven't gotten laid since before you kidnapped me!"

Silence. Schuldig turned back to the two men, to find Aya staring at Yohji. The blonde only shrugged.

"I was married."

"Look," Aya sighed. "I told you my reasons. I don't…"

"You and Schuldig did plenty of fun stuff before you got shot!"

"I won't get my feelings hurt! I'm not a child! I _want_ you to be together."

"You're scared that you can't handle two lovers." Schuldig drawled, slowly, approaching despite Aya's glare.

"I'm scared of Yohji's memories. That-is-all."

"We'd be careful with you, _Veilchen_."

"And nobody ever said you had to be uke all the time!"

"I like. To be. Uke."

Schuldig resisted to urge to grin like a maniac. Yes, Aya _did_ like it.

Almost as much as he _hated_ talking about sex.

Yohji at last sighed, breaking a silence that had lasted for several moments. Aya neither moved nor stopped glaring as the blonde reached out to him, brushing long strands of hair from his eyes, then trailing his fingertips down the glaring man's cheek.

"Okay," he said at last. "Okay. No sex."

"_I_ didn't agree to this!" Schuldig protested.

"I wasn't finished." Yohji glanced at him, then back at Ayha, holding the smaller man's eyes. "No sex – for now."

"For now?"

"If Omi doesn't bring the telepath, or something else goes wrong, and I have to get my memories back all by myself, then we won't wait."

"Agreed." Schuldig said quickly. Yohji smiled at him, then both men turned to stare at Aya.

Who promptly blushed and ducked his head.

"Okay."

"Gotcha now!" Schuldig cheered with a wink and the lighting of a victory cigarette.

Yohji continued staring at Aya.

"Promise?" he pressed.

Aya nodded.

* * *

"I'm going out."

Both men looked up, surprised at the quiet voice breaking through the silence of their lazy afternoon.

"What was that, _Veilchen_?"

"I'm going out."

Blinking, Schuldig and Yohji exchanged curious glances.

"All right," Yohji said at last, "Let us get our shoes."

"I'm going alone." Nodding, as if to himself, Aya rose from his place on the couch and set his book down on the coffee table.

"Alone?" Schuldig repeated.

"That's right. And if I come home and you two aren't both naked and unconscious, there's going to be hell to pay."

"Naked and…?"

"_Veilchen_, are you drunk?"

"You need some 'Schu and Yohji' time."

"This is about us complaining about the no-sex issue this morning, isn't it?"

"In part," he nodded. "But mostly I just want you two to fuck," he said with brutal honesty. "You don't feel comfortable doing it without me when I'm still in the house, so I'm going out."

There was no mistaking his tiny grin as he kissed both men goodbye.

* * *

"Naked and unconscious, he says." Yohji snorted.

"As if he thinks it's really that easy!"

"We haven't messed around in _years_!"

Schuldig fought to suppress a grin as he casually reached over to drop a hand into Yohji's lap.

"He's quite silly, isn't he?" the telepath asked, laughter in his voice as the man jumped in surprise. Schuldig reached for the remote and turned on the television as he idly stroked his fingers along his companion's crotch. "Hmm. I wonder if 'Housewives' is a rerun tonight?"

"Schuldig…"

"Voice so strained already, _Sonnenshein_?" Marriage has hurt your stamina!"

Yohji let his breath out in a long, shuddering stream as Schuldig stroked him a little more strongly, seemingly engrossed in channel-surfing.

"Just…caught me by surprise. That's all."

"Ah. But I _know_ you remember this game."

"First to beg is uke?"

"Since our Aya has left us," he nodded.

"But…you're cheating!"

"All's fair, and all that. Here, let me help you with that zipper…"

"Damn you…!" Yohji whimpered as Schuldig's hand slipped into his pants and touched skin. He lashed out with his own hand, but Schuldig caught it and pulled it to his mouth, sucking leisurely on his fingers.

His other hand grew a little more sure in its groping and Schuldig smirked as he heard his companions' breath quicken.

He was completely unprepared when Yohji tackled him, sending them both crashing to the ground. Yohji forced him onto his stomach, pinning him down, and Schuldig could only laugh as Yohji put his full weight on him and began nibbling on an earlobe.

"All right!" he called. "I cede!"

Yohji sat up a little, panting slightly and pushing long strands of hair off his forehead. "Did you come?"

"Not yet, but I plan to at least once tonight." Schuldig answered impishly.

"Then why give up?"

Schuldig had enough leeway to lift himself up a little to turn his head and look at the blonde. "Reunion sex," he grinned, "Is better when it's slow."

Yohji snorted.

"Don't think that's a possibility tonight."

"Disappoint me and you'll regret it, Kudoh."

Yohji sat back on his heels, letting Schuldig roll onto his back.

"Those pants look pretty tight," the blonde observed.

"Then why not help me out of them?"

Yohji grinned and crawled across Schuldig's body, kissing him hungrily as he reached to "help."

He was stopped as, suddenly, Schuldig pushed him back.

"What's wrong?"

"I have an idea."

"No offense, but your 'ideas' aren't always the most sane. Or anatomically possible."

Schuldig grinned.

"Let's fuck in the kitchen!" he suggested, chuckling as he watched Yohji's eyes widen.

"Aya would be _pissed_ if we did that."

"_If_ he found out."

* * *

They decided to race. Yohji gave a low growl, trapping the telepath against the kitchen table, when Schuldig got there first.

"Cheater!" he accused playfully.

A light shrug, followed by a teasing batting of his eyelashes.

"Would you punish me for being eager, _Sonnenshien?"_

Yohji snorted.

"'Eager,' you say?"

He grabbed the flame haired man and began to kiss him so hard it was almost brutal. Smirking against his lips, Schuldig playfully nipped at the invading tongue and pulled away.

"Wait! This seems more like _my_ style than yours!" he teased.

"Your style has its merits!" Yohji mumbled back, trying to kiss him again as his eager golden hands tried to rid him of his shirt.

Schuldig turned his face away, so that Yohji's lips only brushed his cheek, and earned himself a low warning growl from the blonde.

"I was anticipating something slow and meaningful and beautiful!"

"Almost right. What's wrong with _hard_ and meaningful and beautiful?"

Schuldig gave something between a gasp and a chuckle as the taller man crashed their pelvises together.

"What about slow reunion sex?" Schuldig demanded, breath catching somewhere in the middle of the sentence as Yohji's hand found its way down his pants.

"Wild is better!" the blonde growled.

"I thought this was - !" here he had to stop to gasp, pressing himself against the table as Yohji deftly yanked down his jeans and reached to wrap his fingers around him.

"How can you possibly be asking for romance when you aren't even wearing any underwear?" Yohji teased.

"Did I say anything about romance?" Schuldig's voice came out a touch breathless, though he fought to sound normal. "I just want this to take a few hours!"

"Your lips say slow down, but your _cock_ says hurry-it-up!"

"Traitor!" he hissed, throwing his head back.

Yohji hesitated a moment, then moved his hands to rest on Schuldig's slim hips, meeting his eyes.

"Do you really want me to slow down?"

Grinning, Schuldig pulled one of the blonde's hands to his mouth and began to suck first on one, then two long digits.

Yohji let out a relieved sigh.

"Bastard."

_Have to make you earn it…Yohji._

"Knew you gave up the game too early."

Schuldig chuckled and drew a third finger into his mouth.

Yohji moved faster than he'd thought possible. It seemed instantly he managed to spin Schuldig around and bend him over the table, pinning him with his body as he stretched him hurridly.

His free hand shoved Schuldig's shirt – which he had never managed to get rid of – up his back as he hungrily fixed his mouth upon the flame haired man's spine.

Schuldig lay his cheek against the cool wood of the table and bit his lip, fighting to keep his control. Just this – Yohji's touch, his lips – was nearly enough to send him over the edge. It wouldn't do to go too early though.

It had been a long time since he had done this. He loved Aya, and he more than loved sex with him, but the dear man was still too submissive to take him. Whenever the topic was brought it, it became very clear that it wasn't something Aya was comfortable with yet.

But sometimes it was nice, even fun, to let someone else be in charge. Really, that was one of the many perks to having two lovers – it left more options open for all kinds of fun mischief.

Schuldig gritted his teeth and moaned quietly at the quiet sound of Yohji's zipper. He heard the blonde chuckle from somewhere behind him, and the only real warning he had was the blonde's hands, taking his hips in a tight, tight grip before Yohji was pushing into him, hard and thick, and…

"Just as loud as ever, I see." Yohji murmured fondly, nibbling on an earlobe.

Schuldig tried to respond, but found he couldn't – even telepathically. The most he managed was something in between a shout and a whimper.

Yohji froze inside him.

"You okay?"

All his concentration was on keeping himself in control, but at last he managed a mental shout as he pushed himself backwards against Yohji.

_I swear, Kudoh, if you stop one more time, I'll fucking kill you!_

Given permission, Yohji was all too happy to continue.

* * *

Aya stopped short in the bedroom doorway, disappointment filling him. Schuldig and Yohji were in the bad, both asleep, both wonderfully nude. Yohji slept on his side, one arm tucked behind his head, the sheets tangled around his legs. Schuldig was pressed to his back, arms around him.

A tangle of tanned, bare flesh, beautifully muscled bodies pressed together in smooth lines. Smiles rested on both men's lips, though both were clearly very deeply asleep.

Gazing down on the men he loved, Aya felt a small smile tug on his lips.

Still, it was a shame, he decided in disappointment.

He'd wanted to walk in on them in the act. It was the only way he had thought of to get to watch them without the awkwardness of asking them to let him. And he had missed his chance.

Sighing quietly, and hoping there were many, many more opportunities awaiting him in the future, Aya stripped down to his boxers and joined them in the bed.

* * *

TBC

Next chapter is a Very Important one, so be sure to watch for it! Thanks, everyone!


	23. The important chapter

"Where's my tie?"

"You aren't seriously wearing a tie, are you?"

"We all are – I took the liberty of picking up a few Armani for today."

"Don't look at me – it was his idea."

"Shculdig…you are such a woman."

"Really? We've been doing sex the wrong way then. _Sonnenshien_, your _hair_…"

"What the hell's wrong with it?"

"Come along and I'll fix it."

"'Fix' it?"

"Don't you trust me?"

A sharp laugh filled the room as Yohji allowed Schuldig to drag him into the bathroom.

Aya smiled to himself as his lovers' bickering continued after they had left the room. He knew that laughing at them would only encourage them, but sometimes it was difficult. There was just so much warmth, so much love. When Aya managed to temporarily forget all the problems and uncertainties, life was dangerously close to perfect.

Yohji and Schuldig seemed to have gotten over whatever shyness they'd initially felt about being affectionate toward one another. Each day they grew bolder, and less careful about "showing off" in front of Aya.

Aya wanted to join them with a need that was verging on desperate, but he stubbornly stuck to his decision. He would not sleep with Yohji until a solution was found to his memory problem and, to be fair, he had stopped sleeping with Schuldig as well. The telepath teased him constantly, trying to make him break the resolution, but it was all in play. He respected his decision.

But that didn't stop him from sending the smaller redhead dozens of very dirty mental images every day to "test" him.

It was enough to give him a very vivid idea of what _could_ be.

Today was the ultimate proof that things could never be that easy though. Omi had called last night. They were to meet him today – to get Yohji's memories back, or to kill their old friend.

Aya didn't want to think about where or how Schuldig had found those suits in such short notice.

More, he didn't have the energy to reason out just _why_ Schuldig thought they needed to be wearing suits in the first place.

The man's logic was abnormal on the best of days, after all, and he doubted they had the time, anyway.

"_No_! No _fuckin_ way, man!"

"Certainly fucking – it's sexy as hell. Don't you dare mess it up!"

"Schuldig!"

"Yohji!"

"I'm not going out like this!"

Schuldig stepped back into the bedroom, an impish expression on his beautiful face. Wherever he had gotten the suits, his was perfectly tailored to his – his broad shoulders, his slender hips. He had pulled only the front of his long, wild hair back out of his face, securing them with what looked like ornate chopsticks. He looked very glamorous, very beautiful, and very old-school mob.

Aya began smiling immediately at the sight of him, and found himself automatically moving forward for a kiss.

Schuldig smirked against his mouth, obviously proud that he could have that kind of effect on Aya.

"Behave like this, and we'll be late for our appointment!" the flame haired man teased. As Aya tried to pull away, he caught him and held him closer, kissing him again. _I miss your body_.

Aya could only agree. During his self-imposed abstinence, they had to be very careful not to get too heated in their mutual affections – which led to far too little kissing, hugging, cuddling. Aya found he wanted to wrap himself up in Schuldig, lose himself in all that was the wicked telepath, but for now he had to hold back.

Aya looked at Schuldig, but couldn't think of a way to express all of his conflicting emotions. His confusion, his fear that he was doing everything wrong. His terror that he would lose Yohji today, and nearly overpowering _need_ not to.

Of course, he never needed to say a word. Schuldig understood.

Schuldig always understood.

The man gave him a sincere smile, bestowed him with one more kiss, and stepped away from him.

"What did you do to Yohji to make him yelp like that?" he asked instead.

"Nothing nearly so naughty as I would prefer. Come on out and let him see you, _Sonnenshien_ – and if you've messed it up, rest assured that you _will_ be punished."

"Don't tempt him." Aya muttered.

As Schuldig began to get a _very_ wicked look, Yohji came out of the bathroom pouting and sulking, his arms crossed against his bare chest. He was still dressed in bothering but boxers.

Yohji's hair had grown out since the unfortunate shearing he had given it back when Aya had first left him, but it was still, sadly, far shorter than it had been. Schuldig had used product to slick it back, though the front strands were still falling forward into his eyes.

It was different, but…

"I like it." Aya stated. "Now get dressed."

"But…"

"We're trying to make a certain impression on the Taketori brat," Schuldig singsonged, leaning heavily on Aya and winking at the blonde. "The hair is perfection."

"It's too grown-up."

"You _are_ a grown-up." Aya stated.

"Schu doesn't have to be a grown-up!"

"Because Schuldig is a pain. That's _his_ job. _Our_ job is to show Omi how serious we are."

Yohji heaved an overdramatic sigh, accepting his defeat on the hair issue. Schuldig and Aya shared a conspiratorial smile before going to finish dressing themselves.

Omi had rented out a conference hall for their meeting, he had told them, and was sending a limo to pick them up. Aya was terrified, but couldn't quite pinpoint why. _Omi_ had called _them_, after all, and he had promised to bring the telepath they needed.

But Aya was still terrified.

Schuldig, picking up on this, was bringing his gun, _just in case_.

* * *

Aya reached to fix the mess Yohji had made of his tie, and the blonde realized that the smaller man's hands were shaking. He reached up, trapping those elegant, trembling things in his own hands and kissing them.

"It'll be okay," he promised.

Aya's expression was unreadable, but somehow Yohji understood.

"I _won't_ hate you."

Schuldig climbed from the limo, said something rude to the driver, and came to join them, putting an arm around each of them as Yohji continued to hold Aya's hands in his own.

The telepath grinned.

"Orgy tonight?"

Aya glared at him, but blushed, face losing it's stone-like expression. The small redhead pulled away from them back and began to walk, purposefully, toward the doors to the conference center.

_I'm worried about him._ Schuldig's silent voice filled Yohji's head.

Yohji glanced at Aya's retreating form, and nodded.

"Worried" wasn't exactly accurate. It was far more than worried. Aya's fear was toxic, infectious. There was so much that could go wrong and, if the glimpse of happiness the last week had been was anything to go by, there was so much for them to lose.

Schuldig slung his arm around his shoulders and began to walk, calling out for Aya to wait.

"We should all go in together, _Vielchen_."

Aya shot the doors a suspicious look.

"Who's in there?"

"You think it's a trap?" Yohji asked.

"Smart kitty." Schuldig wrapped his other arm around Aya and drew him in close as he sent out his powers to scan the room. "The designated room contains only the Taketori brat, Nagi, and a telepath of…barely moderate strength."

"You're sure? The other telepath couldn't be hiding an army from you or anything?"

Schuldig gave a grim laugh.

"_Nein, Veilchen_. Compared to _me_, this telepath is a child just learning to walk. She will never have half my power. If we didn't need her, I'd break her this very moment for what she did to our _Sonnenshien_."

"Tell them we're here."

"They already know."

As if on cue, the doors swung open. There wasn't room for the three of them to walk through with their arms still around each other, but Yohji doubted that any of them liked the idea of going in without touching the others. Without discussing it, they ended up holding hands.

The room was large enough to hold a party of at least a hundred, and empty but for a circle of chairs in the center. Three of those chairs already had occupants.

Omi rose at the sight of them, frowning a little at the sight of their joined hands.

"Forgive me if my greeting is not enthusiastic," the young man said quietly, face expressionless and tone somber. Yohji had to give Schuldig points for his foresight – the three lovers made a much more impressive picture than Taketori's group. "Please, have a seat so that we can get this over with."

"It was good of you to agree to meet us, Omi." Yohji said with a small smile, coming forward and pulling the other two with him. He took the middle seat. As Aya sat down, the smaller man pulled his chair closer and Yohji's hand in a tight grip.

Schuldig pulled his chair close, too, and let his hand "casually" come to rest atop Yohji's thigh.

Omi's lips thinned.

"Nagi…" he said quietly.

It was the only warning they had before they found themselves telepathically bound to their chairs.

Omi gave a quiet, sorrowful sigh and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.

"Why did you have to ruin everything?" he asked sadly.

* * *

Yohji's fury had been brimming in his subconscious since the first sight of the Taketori brat, though the blonde had probably neither noticed nor cared, too caught up had he been in keeping near to his lovers.

But when Taketori spoke, Schuldig felt Yohji's fury flare like a furnace – hot and violent and dangerous.

Aya, unfortunately, was not angry.

Schuldig wished that he was.

Aya had retreated deep into himself and blocked out his emotions, unable to face the betrayal and sorrow. He had expected something to go wrong, and was now waiting for his world to end.

_Nagi, what are you doing?_ He demanded, seeking and holding his former teammate's eyes.

_Following orders_, was the young man's reply.

"Ayan," Taketori shook his head in disappointment and sighed, crossing his arms. "Don't you remember what you did to poor Yotan? How you hurt him and drove him mad? He tried to kill you, you hurt him so much!"

"I would _never_!" Yohji snarled.

"And he _begged_ you to kill him! You _broke_ him, Ayan. You ruined him."

Aya's entire mind flinched.

"That's enough, kid." Schuldig ordered.

He was just as ignored as Yohji had been.

"I fixed all that though, Ayan! I took you out of his life so that you couldn't hurt him anymore! I took away all of his pain, and in return, I gave him everything he ever wanted. A job he could be proud of, a wife who loved him…I gave him _Asuka_!"

"You can take the bitch back!" Yohji spat, fighting against his invisible restraints.

"I gave him everything to make him happy," Taketori continued. "And he _was_ happy. No more nightmares, no more blood. And _you_ took it all away again."

"I never wanted it to begin with!"

"Do you love him, Ayan? Did you ever? Because it seems to me more like you hate him!"

Aya had bowed his head at the earlier tirade, but he looked up now, the first stirrings of anger pushing into his mind.

_Let us up, Nagi!_

_I can't do that, Schuldig!_

_You've broken orders before._

_I will not disobey Taketori-san_.

Taketori sighed again and made a motion to the woman sitting beside him.

"This time, Rina will free both of you from your memories."

_You…you _love_ that rat finch, don't you?_ Schuldig realized.

The young man didn't flinch.

"We'll place the two of you on opposite corners of the world, like I should have done in the first place."

_I don't_ care_ if you love him, Nagi! Good for you. But you know you cannot allow this to happen!_

"You should never have cause to see each other again, but if you did run into each other, you wouldn't even notice."

_He'll ruin himself by doing this. Deep, deep down, he knows this is wrong._

_He'll never forgive me, Schuldig!_

"You'll never be able to hurt each other again!"

The young man smiled then, like a child convinced he had done something wonderful. "My family will be happy and protected at last!"

_He cannot be allowed to do this! These difficult decisions are killing his soul, Nagi!_

"I don't want you to protect me, chibi!" Yohji pled. "I want to live and love my own way – by my own choices! I want to make my own mistakes!"

"But Yotan, you've already made so many!"

_I…I know, Schuldig._

"Kill me then, Omi."

"Yotan! Don't be silly."

_But I don't know how to help him. He'll never forgive me if I interfere._

"You said you wanted me to be happy. If I can't have the ones I love, I would rather be dead. Making me forget them is the worst thing you could do to me!"

_You would let him destroy all of our lives – including his own – just to keep him from becoming angry with you?_

Taketori stared at Yohji a moment then, slowly, smiled.

"All right, Yotan," he said at last. "I understand now. I was mistaken before – you really _don't_ want Asuka anymore. You want Ayan. Okay. I understand."

"You…?"

"You can be with Ayan."

_Nagi?_

"I…can?"

"But not the way you are. There's too much in your pasts that hurt you – it would never work out. We'll wipe your memories and give you new ones this time. You and Ayan can live happily ever after!"

There was complete silence in the room for a span of several moments.

Then Aya spoke.

"What about Schuldig?"

Taketori's face fell.

"Schuldig is going to have to die," he answered reluctantly.

"I won't allow that."

"Ayan, be reasonable – you aren't exactly in a position to argue!" he laughed.

A low, dangerous growl was his only answer.

"He's too strong for Rina to take his memories, and we can't let him come and give your memories back later. Besides," his eyes hardened. "I warned him of what would happen if he didn't behave!"

"I haven't killed anyone." Schuldig informed him.

Shrugging, Taketori pulled a gun.

Two things happened at once then.

Schuldig lashed into the other telepath's mind.

And Nagi released his hold on the trio.

* * *

Yohji sprang from his seat and launched himself at Omi. Nagi allowed a few blows to land on his employer before he used his powers to push the lanky blonde away. By the same method he pulled Omi up from the ground. He hovered an inch off the floor, battered, bruised, and bleeding, and affixed his former teammates with a look of martyred disappointment.

Yohji's lips curled into a smile. He seemed to be considering attacking again.

Aya remained as he was, in his chair. He felt cold all over, and knew that if he tried to move, he would begin to shake. He may even cry.

Better to remain motionless and cold.

"You're making a mistake!" Omi warned them sadly. "You're just going to end up hurting each other again – is that really what you want? You love each other now, but what happens the day you stop?"

"Leave them alone, Mamoru." Nagi said quietly, stepping forward to put his hand on the young man's arm.

"But - !"

"You aren't helping them, and they don't _want_ your help. Just…just leave them alone. Just…let's go home."

"No! I have to help them!"

"Omi! Omi think for a second, damn it!" Yohji was still furious, but his expression softened somewhat. "You can't protect us from ourselves – we aren't your children; we're your friends! We're your family, and you can't force your family to be what you want."

"But you'll hurt each other again."

"It's the sweetest torture I know."

Omi paled.

Silence fell in the room, broken only when the telepath fell out of her chair. Schuldig continued to stare at her with obviously intense concentration, lips slowly curling into a smirk.

Aya took a trembling breath, and it felt like the first breath he'd taken in a long time.

"Please," he said simply. "Please. Omi, please don't take them away from me."

Omi stared at him, and his face crumpled. He looked to be near to tears as he dropped his eyes and nodded to Nagi.

The dark haired young man moved to his side before letting him down, and he placed one of Omi's arms around his neck so he could support him.

"It's over," Nagi promised quietly. "He won't bother you again."

Aya nodded once, sharply.

"Try not to hurt each other, okay?"

Another nod.

* * *

TBC

1. "It's the sweetest torture I know." Yohji also said this at the end of Inferno.

**Response to unsigned reviews:**

CaT70 - Didn't I promise it would be? Thanks so much!


	24. Schuldig

Another early chapter. Just as well, because I plan to be busy at the end of this week, anyway.

This chapter may contain things you have already read. I tried to change the perpective and rework some of it so that it would be at least a little different, and there's even at least one completely new scene that happened but wasn't written about before. (Does any of this make any sense? Probably not until you get there...) In any case, if you don't want to read something very similar to something you've already read, just skip the parts in italics. My feelings won't be hurt...as long as you don't _tell_ me you skipped it. They may be a little jumpy. That's just to spare you as much as possible.

Enjoy. You've waited a long time for this.

* * *

The three had left the building with their arms around each other, and if someone clutched a little more tightly than necessary, or seemed on the verge of exhausted tears, no one complained.

Schuldig used his telepathy to silently hail a cab, and for once did not receive a glare from Aya for the use of his powers. The smaller redhead was the first to climb into the back seat, and seemed intent on crowding himself into the far corner and making himself as small as possible. He reminded Yohji of a hurt or frightened animal.

The blonde gave a slight jump as Yohji tugged on his hair.

"Sit in the middle, _Sonnenshien_."

He nodded and slid into the car. Before he could even reach for Aya, the man had latched onto him – practically crawling into his lap. He put Yohji in mind of a cat who had decided he wanted attention – especially when he snuggled closer by rubbing his face against Yohji's shoulder.

_Let him catch you thinking like that and you'll be in a lot of pain for a very long time._

Schuldig's mental voice was tired, but it held a hint of satisfaction as he came to join them in the back of the car. Aya immediately reached for the other man, clutching his hand tightly.

"I don't know whether to be disappointed that I didn't get my memories, or glad that we all got out in tact." Yohji admitted quietly, letting his chin come to rest atop Aya's head.

Aya scowled and bit Yohji, much to the blonde's protest.

"All that matters," the smaller man growled as the car began to move, "Is that we're here."

"I know something _else_ that matters!" Schuldig sing-songed smugly, slapping his free hand down on Yohji's knee and giving it a squeeze.

Aya returned to snuggling with a grunt, not in the mood for optimism.

"What?" Yohji was left to ask as Schuldig, humming to himself, began to purposefully slide his hand up his thigh. Yohji had to stop him before he reached his groin, knowing that this probably wasn't the time the initiate the "orgy" Schuldig had teased them about earlier. He certainly didn't feel like sex at the moment.

Besides, something in Schuldig's matter told him that there was something more important than carnality going on right now.

"What do you know, Schu?"

The flame haired man met his eyes with an impish grin.

"I thoroughly ravaged that vile woman's mind!" he announced, satisfaction ringing in his voice. His eyes were bright with mischief and light. "She was sicker than even _I_ am, and I enjoyed ripping her apart every bit as much as she enjoyed stealing your mind!"

"I don't know that I want to hear this anymore…"

"Oh no, _Sonnenshien_, you _want_ to hear. Don't you want to know what I _found_ as I was ripping her twisted little mind to shreds?" his grin widened and Yohji somehow knew that he was going to like whatever came next. "I," Schuldig informed him, leaning forward until their lips were nearly touching, "Found out how to take down your barrier."

Aya lifted his head, watching sharply as Schuldig brushed his lips seductively, teasingly, against Yohji's. When the telepath pulled away, his grin had become a very wicked smirk.

"I can do it," he announced. "I can take down the barrier without hurting any of us. It will only take a few days to get it all."

Aya pulled back to stare at them, eyes searching as if he expected Schuldig to laugh and tell him that he was only kidding.

The telepath did laugh, but he didn't take back his words. Instead he stretched out to hook an arm around Aya's neck and pull him in for a kiss. The action pulled the smaller redhead even further into Yohji's lap, and as he tried to balance himself, one hand came down to rest rather high on the blonde's thigh.

Yohji certainly didn't mind. He watched them with interest, patiently waiting his turn, and attacked Schuldig the moment Aya pulled back.

"You can do it?" he demanded, grasping handfuls of Schuldig's hair. If it hurt, the other man gave no indication. "You _swear_ you can do it?"

"A day or two to unravel the barrier, and then another day to help you go through whatever memories remain." Schuldig swore. "Give or take a day due to the sheer number of memories and your ability to handle them. I know how to do it."

Yohji was smiling. He couldn't stop smiling.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Aya gave a small, guilty jump. It took all of his control to keep himself from turning around. He knew the man would be standing with his arms crossed, leaning casually against the doorframe. He would be smiling and beautiful, his eyes filled with light and love.

Aya knew he wouldn't be able to handle it.

"I'm packing," he answered coldly, picking up a shirt and beginning to fold it.

"Are we going somewhere?"

"I'm leaving."

Silence for several moments. Aya froze at the feeling of painfully familiar arms wrapping around him, so tightly, as if they would never let him go. Involuntarily, he closed his eyes.

"Yohji…"

Lips against his neck. Soft, loving, precious.

"Why would you want to leave us, Aya? In a week, I'll be me again."

"I don't – stop that! – I don't want to leave."

Yohji continued to ravish his neck.

"If you leave, then there won't be any hot threesome sex when I get my memories back!" he pouted.

Aya turned in Yohji's arms. Forced himself to meet his eyes. He had frightened Yohji, and whatever the blonde saw in his expression caused him to kiss him.

Aya pushed him away gently.

"I can't be in this house while you're getting your memories, Yohji," he said quietly.

"Why not?"

"I'm sorry. I'm too weak. Yohji, I…I _can't_ watch you go through that pain again!" he admitted, voice breaking though he fought to keep it cold. "It's one thing if you hate me when this is all over, but if I have to _watch_ your love _become_ hate…I _can't_, Yohji. It-will-kill-me."

Yohji was silent for a moment, staring at him.

"What does Schuldig say about this?" he asked at last.

Aya looked away.

"He agreed that it was a good idea, although he didn't want to. He's going to drive me to the hotel once I'm packed."

"Aya…"

"_Please_…don't argue, Yohji. I don't know if I can…"

The blonde hesitated, then nodded.

"Okay," he whispered at last. "Okay."

Aya stared at him a long moment, then reached for him. Yohji was more than willing to take him into his arms, to kiss him.

"I love you, Yohji." Aya swore. "Please try to hold onto that, even when the memories become painful."

"I will." Yohji promised, tightening his hold on him.

* * *

_A meaningless party just like dozens of other meaningless parties he'd been to. The music was always the same, the liquor the same. Hell, he was half convinced that even the people were the same._

_The club was new and very popular. The line of people waiting to get in stretched for over a mile._

_Yohji Kudoh was bored out of his mind._

_He was on his way back to the bar, hoping to drown the boredom out in something strong, when some idiot coming from the bathrooms crashed into him, causing him to spill what remained of his current drink._

"_I'm sorry!" Yohji said quickly, annoyed, yet not yet so drunk as to want to pick a meaningless fight._

_The other man brushed him away and took a step back._

"_It's nothing," he said, eyes downcast._

"_I'm such an idiot! That's real silk, isn't it? Look, I'll pay for the shirt."_

"_No," the man insisted stubbornly. "It's noth…"_

_He looked up. Yohji's eyes clashed with vibrant violet. Someone gasped._

"_Aya…"_

_Those brilliant eyes widened._

"_Kudoh."_

_He had to see him – away from the flashing lights and blaring music of the club. Yohji grabbed Aya's arm without thinking about the risk and dragged him into the bathroom._

"_Gods, Aya! I can't believe it's really you! Where have you been? What's been going on? Aya? Aya?"_

_The small man blinked._

"_What?"_

"_You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?" he grinned._

"_No," Aya answered coldly. "Sorry."_

_Impulsively, Yohji reached for him, pulled him into a hug. He had always wanted to hug – or more! – the lovely man, but had never been brave enough to try, though he had always been sure that the man needed physical affection._

_Aya, much to his pleased surprise, fit into his arms perfectly. For a brief moment, Yohji felt an impossibly sense of _rightness_. He was home._

_Too soon, Aya pushed him away._

"_Let me the _fuck_ go!" he snarled, for all appearances like a cat who had decided he was tired of being played with._

_Yohji couldn't help it – he laughed._

* * *

"_What?" Yohji asked, laughing, as Aya turned to go back into his hotel room._

"_Go home, Yohji."_

"_What? Why?"_

"_You look like a porn star. I'm not going anywhere with you."_

_Yohji laughed again and carefully began pulling the small, irate man back towards the door._

"_Will you relax?" he asked lightly. "I'm not going to take you anywhere where you'll be uncomfortable!"_

"_I seriously doubt that, Kudoh."_

"_Yohji. Please."_

_Aya's glare strengthened in intensity as he bared his teeth in a snarl._

"_Just what were you planning for tonight, Kudoh?" he demanded suspiciously._

"_I just want to hang out, Aya," he promised. "Catch up on old times."_

* * *

"_What made you decide to settle down?"_

_Yohji's head shot up from his menu and he found himself gaping stupidly at Aya, who watched him with an unreadable expression._

"_What?"_

"_Was the question too personal?" Aya asked. "I'm sorry."_

"_No, I…I just…_damn_!" Yohji attempted a laugh. "You just surprised me, that's all."_

"_Well?"_

"_Well…I don't know, really."_

"_You're lying."_

_Aya's eyes were too piercing; he couldn't meet his gaze any longer. Yohji pretended to read his menu._

"_There's this…person…I used to see a lot, but I don't anymore…" he answered awkwardly. "I never realized how important…this person…was to me until after we were separated. I'd really…_really_ like another shot to see if there's anything between us that'll last."_

"_And if there is?" Aya questioned. "Could you really be loyal to one person and one alone?"_

_Yohji took a deep breath and forced himself to look at Aya._

"_This one I could," he swore. "I could _really_ love this person. If I had him, I would never want anyone else."_

"Him_?" Aya asked._

_Yohji felt a rush of fear._

"_What?"_

"_This person is a man?"_

"_Does that disgust you?"_

"_No, I just…what about all those women?"_

_Yohji forced a grin._

"_What about them?" he countered._

_

* * *

_

_A quiet booth in the back of a fast food restaurant. His arms around Aya, fingers pulling slowly through his hair, after so long dreaming of this very thing._

_Yohji had to struggle to remind himself that this meant nothing for Aya. They were there only to practice acting like lovers before Aya's big dinner party for work. Yohji was doing Aya a favor, nothing more._

_Aya would kill him if he knew that Yohji was in love with him._

_Even without knowing, the man was probably ready to kill him already, anyway. He had taken more liberties with the man than anyone had probably ever dared. This kind of thing made Aya jumpier than he ever would have believed, and he had to move slower than ever with even the most simple of things. The man was only now beginning to relax in his arms. Perhaps he was enjoying the feel of the hand pulling through his hair._

_Yohji bent to lay a gentle kiss against the small man's neck, and Aya didn't pull away._

_He tried to move his lips to Aya's, but the small man turned his face to the side._

"_Aya…"_

"_I should be getting back to work…" the small man decided._

_Yohji reflexively tightened his arms around him, unwilling to let this end so soon._

"_Already?" he asked. "I'm not sure we're ready for that."_

"_Not everyone is as easy as you, Yohji. Not everyone in a couple feels the need to slobber all over his lover in public."_

"_True," Yohji conceded, "But they don't act like they can't stand each other, either."_

"_I don't act like that! Do I…Yohji?"_

_The blonde smiled, shook his head. "No," he lied, watching relief spread across the small, dear man's face._

_

* * *

_

"_I'm…" clearly uncomfortable, Aya stared down at his plate. "I'm not leaving."_

"_What?"_

"_Nakamura offered me a job. I accepted."_

"_Don't fuck with me, man."_

"_I'm not…I'm staying."_

_

* * *

_

_A tentative hand on his face. Yohji turned his head slowly, Aya's fingertips sliding against his skin until they rested against his lips._

"_You don't like the movie?" Yohji asked, a little shaken by his companion's odd behavior._

_Aya moved his hand, sliding it against Yohji's cheek, and the blonde found himself moving forward. Yohji kissed him slowly, carefully leaning him back against the couch. As Aya allowed the kiss, Yohji gained courage and began to kiss him more forcefully. He slid his hand under the small redhead's shirt and took the opportunity of the man's quiet gasp to deepen the kiss._

_He slid his other hand under Aya's shirt, pressing him close as he moved his mouth to his jaw and neck. Aya's arms were tight around him as he directed the smaller man to wrap one leg around him._

_Yohji moved his lips back to Aya's and the man responded, sweetly tentative._

"_Gods, Aya," Yohji whispered, pressing closer. "I've waited for this for so long…"_

"_Yohji…" Aya put his hands on Yohji's shoulders and pushed, forcing him to sit up._

"_What's wrong?" Yohji asked breathlessly. "Aya?"_

_Aya forced him to move, quickly standing and walking away._

"_Aya? What happened? Come back."_

"_We can't do this, Kudoh." Aya informed him, voice shaking. "I should leave."_

_

* * *

_

Yohji came out of the memories and immediately leapt to his feet.

"Where do you think you're going?" Schuldig asked, almost as if he was making fun of him, and he began to head for the study door.

"The hotel. I have to see Aya. I have to…"

"Not without the rest of your memories."

Yohji rounded on Schuldig, eyes frightened and beautiful.

"I want him."

"No kidding. But it wouldn't be fair to go to him now, without knowing the rest of your history." Schuldig sighed and rose, crossing to the blonde. He took the taller man into his arms and kissed him as soundly as Yohji would let him. "Do you want to take a break?" he asked, brushing back some of Yohji's hair.

"No! I don't want to take a damned break!" Yohji glared, jerking away from him. "I want to go get my Aya!"

"Have all these weeks of waiting been for nothing?" Schuldig demanded, showing his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching for him again. "Take a moment to think – the only thing that's kept the three of us from fully consummating our relationship if _your_ lack of memory. Aya would _not_ appreciate my letting you go to him now – think of how much you could end up hating you later!"

"I. Want. Aya."

"So do I. So shut up and sit down and let's finish with these fucking memories already, all right?"

Yohji glared at him a moment longer, almost sulking. Chuckling quietly to himself, Schuldig took the other man's face in his hands and kissed him.

"Stop acting like a spoiled brat, Kudoh, or I may have to punish you," he teased.

Yohji stared at him a moment, then, abruptly, laughed. Shaking his head, he reached to give Schuldig's hair a sharp tug.

"Thank you. Ya bastard."

"Anything to help, dear."

* * *

TBC

**Response to Unsigned Reviews:**

Moon without a Sun - thanks!

glinwulf - he's just having trouble seeing outside his own wants and needs.

steffi - oh yeah. The boy definitley needs to take a break and relax. This is what stress does to you. LOL. Yeah, I don't care/don't have time to edit.

Acesha - Ooooooh how I wish they were real baked goods...

Thanks, everyone!


	25. Painful Past

As my apology for being gone so long, here are the final three chapters of Flood. These were completed way back in October, so please don't assume I rushed them just to get them out. I hope most people are as happy with the ending as I was. If not, well...(Just because you're getting three chaps at once doesn't mean you have permission to skimp on reviewing though! Just...be nice even if you hated it, because I'm actually quite pleased.)

Anyway, apologies for the long absence, and please enjoy. You've waited long enough.

* * *

Listless, he sat in the chair by the window and wondered if it was really only his imagination that told him he could literally _feel_ time dragging by.

He had been living in this hotel for four days now, without word from his lovers.

Well, that wasn't exactly true.

A small, reluctant smile crossed his lips.

Every night at ten exactly Schuldig would call and ask for a bedtime story "or at least some kinky phone sex." It was nice to know that the playful man missed him.

But also annoying. Schuldig refused to tell him about – or even let him talk to – Yohji.

"You know you shouldn't talk to him until he has all of his memories." Schuldig had told him, gently scolding, just that night. "If it helps, I _can_ tell you that he still loves you, and that he really wants to see you."

Aya had closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard, nearly clutching the phone.

"Then I haven't left him yet in his memories."

"Eh…no, _Veilchen_."

"Maybe you should go faster."

Aya had hung up without another word.

* * *

"_Have you been crying?"_

"_No."_

"_You're lying. I can always tell when you're lying."_

"_What do you want, Kudoh?"_

"_I want to talk about what almost happened."_

"_No. I don't want to talk about it."_

"_Aya…"_

"_Let me clarify. I _won't_ talk about it."_

_

* * *

_

_Aya slammed on the braked and Yohji was thrown painfully against the restraint of his seatbelt. They were at a red light._

_Aya was trembling visibly, his breathing labored. He seemed to be trying to grasp at some unbelievable thought. Slowly, eyes large, he turned to look at Yohji._

"_That's it, isn't it?" he asked. "You've been acting like we were dating all this time."_

"_Well…"_

_Aya paled._

"_Yohji…" his voice was quiet now, hollow. "Yohji…_are_ we dating?"_

_

* * *

_

It was nearly ten. Schuldig would be calling soon, unless he was so offended at Aya hanging up on him yesterday that he had decided that he and Yohji really _were_ better off without their volatile third.

Aya sighed and shook his head, standing up and stretching. He wondered if he could use the hotel-supplied coffee pot to make some tea.

* * *

"_What?What's the problem?"_

"_I've never been in this kind of relationship before. You know that, Yohji."_

"_Yeah? So? You've got a good guide, baby. I'll teach you everything you need to know."_

"_I would love for you to teach me, Yohji. But I want to slow down."_

"_Slow down? We've been dating for months!"_

"_But I didn't know we were dating! I'm not used to the idea yet."_

"_You weren't complaining when you had your tongue shoved down my throat."_

"_I apologize. If it's too difficult for you, we don't have to kiss at all until I'm ready to go all the way."_

_

* * *

_

"_Now Yohji, you can't do that. Which type of bastard am I? A sneaky bastard or a masochistic one?"_

"_You can't be both?"_

"_You have to choose."_

"_You about bunny thong, then?"_

"_I warned you about calling me that."_

_

* * *

_

"_I love you, bunny thong."_

_

* * *

_

"_Relationship?" Omi checked._

_

* * *

_

"_Yohji, this is Aya. He's damaged and he's fragile and you're just going to throw him away once you've finished playing with him, like you throw away everyone when they stop being interesting."_

"_Omi, you don't understand. It's not like that this time."_

_

* * *

_

"_I've wanted this, too, Yohji. Even before I knew you loved me."_

"_You bastard."_

"_How could I not, with the way you dress?"_

"_I thought sex frightened you."_

"_I'm terrified."_

_

* * *

_

Aya paced the length of his hotel room, feeling that he was very close to losing his mind.

Had he not been expecting Schuldig to call, he would have left the room.

Chewing on a fingernail, Aya glared at the telephone and willed it to ring. He wouldn't be able to sleep until he heard from Schuldig.

_

* * *

_

_Aya in his arms, skin pressed to skin, all of that bare, white expanse left bare and waiting for his lips or hands to explore._

_He had wanted this since the day he'd met the man._

_Though he'd never expected to feel so much love._

_It had never been like this. Not with anyone._

_It had been worth the wait._

_

* * *

_

"_Please tell me you didn't cook in your underwear."_

_

* * *

_

"_It's sad to think about, though," Yohji decided._

"_What is?"_

"_That one day we'll be too old for sex."_

"_By that time, Yohji, we won't be interested in sex anymore." Aya sighed, snuggling closer. Yohji took great pleasure in the fact that he didn't argue with his assumption that they would still be together when they were that old. "All we'll care about is bingo."_

"_How depressing." Yohji let his hand casually drop into Aya's lap. "So, if we're going to be like that one day and we know it – don't you think we should fool around while we still have the chance?"_

"_What – on the couch?"_

_

* * *

_

"_No. Naked. In. The. Kitchen."_

_

* * *

_

"_It's natural to have someone you depend on – there's nothing wrong with that." Yohji assured Aya gently, holding him close as the small, stubborn man fought tears. "You're the one who needs help right now, but one day I'll be the one having issues, and you'll be there for me."_

"_It's not like me to be so emotional, damn it!"_

"_You're body knows you're safe, sweetheart, even if your mind refuses to accept it."_

"_Don't call me 'sweethear'."_

_

* * *

_

"_Don't yell at me for breaking in. Or at least wait until tomorrow."_

"_I'm not going to yell."_

"_What's wrong, bunny thong?"_

_

* * *

_

"_Please, Aya?" Yohji begged eagerly, attempting what he hoped was a very cute pout. "You promised I could have a prize for being a good boy!"_

_The small man raised an eyebrow._

"_Why is it my ass is always at the top of your list?"_

_

* * *

_

"_Aya? Love?"_

"_What?"_

"_You love me."_

"_Okay."_

_

* * *

_

"_Morita was bothering me again."_

"_When?" Yohji demanded._

"_Last week. I…became rather violent with him."_

"_Good."_

"_Yohji…no one's seen him since."_

_

* * *

_

"_I love you." Aya whispered fiercely, wrapping his arms tightly around Yohji. "Please believe that. You mean…everything to me, Yohji."_

"_Aya, won't you tell me what's wrong?"_

"_I can't," his voice broke again. Yohji felt tears against his neck. "I just can't."_

"_All right."_

"_No matter what, I love you."_

"_Aya…"_

"_Make love to me, please."_

_

* * *

_

Aya jumped as the phone rang. Wrapping his arms tightly around himself, he stared at it for several moments before moving to remove it from its cradle on the bedside table.

"Schuldig."

"Been waiting for my call, _Veilchen_?" the telepath chuckled, sounding tired. "Eager for some phone sex?"

"Where's Yohji?"

He heard his lover yawn, and could easily picture the bemused look that must be on the man's face.

"Crying himself to sleep, probably."

"Schuldig…"

"Striped carnations, _Veilchen_?"

Aya felt his blood run cold.

"Oh."

"It's difficult." Schuldig hesitated. "He's very…broken…right now."

"It's going to get worse." Aya promised.

He slammed down the phone before his lover could answer, and wrapped his arms tightly around himself. When the phone began to ring again, he unplugged it.

Aya crawled onto the bed. Dry-eyed, he stared at the ceiling and regretted his entire life.

* * *

"_How do you feel about a job, Kudoh?"__

* * *

_

"_I'm sorry I'm late."_

_Ice water coursed through Yohji's veins at the sound of that voice. He had never expected…never dreamed to hear that voice go so cold and emotionless again._

"_Aya," he whispered. "Aya, what's happened to you?"_

_

* * *

_

"_I don't want to be with you, Yohji."_

_

* * *

_

_Aya shoved violently away and Yohji flew back, crashing into the opposite wall of the stairwell. The handrail bit painfully into his back and he slipped down two steps before managing to gain himself enough balance to prevent a broken neck._

_He stared up at Aya, and for a moment the man appeared pale and frightened and worried._

_As he watched, though, the spark of humanity left those lovely eyes. That pretty face turned cold._

"_Don't touch me again," the voice of Abyssinian ordered._

_The long haired man glared at him for a moment longer, and Yohji could only gape up at him in surprise and pain. At last, Aya nodded firmly, assured he had gotten his point across, and turned to leave._

"_Still love me now, Yohji?" he asked softly._

_

* * *

_

_Flirting wildly, Yohji got the stewardess to bring him alcohol. _

_Later, when he was drunk enough, he managed to charm her into meeting him in the bathroom._

_

* * *

_

"_I'm Yohji, by the way."_

"_Michelle."_

_

* * *

_

"_He's crossed the point of no return, Yotan." Omi said gently. "He's killed too many people now – his soul will never give him another chance to heal. He'll never be able to love again."_

_

* * *

_

"_You asked me to love you forever." Yohji rasped._

"_I changed my mind."_

_

* * *

_

"_I'm part of Weiss, too, asshole!"_

_

* * *

_

"_Y…you're choking me!" Tsuji gasped._

_

* * *

_

"_What the hell are you doing, Kudoh?"_

_Yohji smiled._

"_Aya."_

_He moved forward, trapping Aya's face in his hands and catching his lips in a kiss._

"_You love me. You sneaky bastard – you love me!"_

_

* * *

_

"_You're going to make me hurt you, aren't you?"_

"_You can't, Aya. Please."_

_

* * *

_

"_She won't make you happy."_

"_You don't have the right to say that, Aya."_

"_I know."__

* * *

_

"_I can't love anyone else, I've tried! Can't you see? You're the only one I've been able to love since Asuka!"_

"_I'm just as dead as she is."_

_

* * *

_

"_Aya…" Yohji hesitated. "Have you ever wished you could erase your past?"_

_Aya's answering voice was cold._

"_You can't erase your past."_

_No doubt he thought he was the one Yohji wanted to erase. The blonde man would never willingly admit that it was his cherished memories of Aya that were all that kept him from accepting Ysuji's offer. Those memories hurt, but he wanted them._

"_What if you could?" he asked at last._

"_I wouldn't want to."_

"_Yeah," Yohji nodded. "Right. You're the strong one."_

_

* * *

_

"_In order to kill the last remnants of the Omi Tsukiyono that lives inside me, I need you to help me with one last mission."_

_

* * *

_

"_What's going on?" Aya asked quietly._

"_Don't move." Yohji warned, voice shaking. "I can't let you go, so just…back down."_

_

* * *

_

"_I'll die loving you. Or you'll die, and I'll forget everything. I'd rather have it be the first, so don't disappoint me, okay, bunny thong?"_

_

* * *

_

"_I'll make it home," Yohji promised. "Home is where you are…and we aren't finished yet."_

_

* * *

_

"_Talk to me and I won't fall asleep."_

"_Yohji…"_

"_What? You can't think of anything nice to say?"_

_There was silence, then:_

"_The problem is that there's too much to say." Aya answered finally. "Yohji…Yohji, I love you so much."_

"_Shit. Now I know I'm dead."_

"_I'm sorry, Yohji."_

"_Don't…don't say things you'll have to take back later."_

_

* * *

_

"_You have to understand! You and Aya hurt each other so much…you love each other, I know you do, but it will never work. You'll just keep hurting each other worse and worse, forever and ever."_

"_It's the sweetest torture I know." Yohji answered with a smile._

_

* * *

_

"_Goodbye, Yotan."_

_

* * *

_

TBC


	26. Attonement

He hadn't been expecting the knock on the door.

And somehow, when he opened it, he was surprised to see Schuldig.

The man stood alone as he waited for him, looking lovely in a pair of designer jeans and a silk button down, his hair pulled back in a artfully messy tail.

He didn't wait for Aya to greet him or invite him inside. He stepped forward boldly to take the smaller redhead into his arms and proceeded to kiss him breathless. Aya found himself guiltily reminded of how his worry over Yohji had caused him to virtually ignore his other lover.

_That's right, _Veilchen_, and I've been feeling very neglected!_ Schuldig's mental voice scolded playfully. _And after everything I've done for you, too! You're going to me making this up to me for years!_

Aya silently agreed.

As Schuldig pulled back, the telepath grinned brazenly at him and Aya was somewhat surprised to find himself smiling back. Slowly Schuldig's expression turned a little more sincere. He slid his fingers gently through Aya's hair.

"Are you ready to go and see Yohji?" he asked quietly.

The peace and simple happiness Aya had been beginning to feel fled.

"The memories are finished?"

"Did you think I came all the way here just to ravage you? I'm sorry, _Veilchen_. It's a beautiful thought, but we both know you'd castrate me if it were true."

Aya ignored the teasing.

"Did…did Yohji make a decision?" he forced himself to ask. "About me?"

Schuldig took both his hands into his own and kissed each in turn.

"Why don't we go and talk to him and see, okay, _Veilchen_?" he asked, threading his fingers through Aya's. He kissed his hands again and began to lead him away from his room.

Aya allowed himself to be led.

"Where are we going?"

"We cleared out one of the ballrooms for this discussion, kitty. Lots of privacy and plenty of room. We were afraid you'd feel too enclosed if we did this in your room."

Aya found himself clutching at Schuldig's arm, suddenly unsure of himself – of everything. His hopes seemed very foolish things when he was this close to finally knowing what Yohji would decide.

Schuldig stopped him outside the large double doors.

"Yohji and I have not spoken about his memories," he confessed quietly, almost regretfully. "If we had, I would end your misery now and tell you myself."

Aya swallowed.

"I know, Schu."

"I love him, _Veilchen_, but I loved you first. I know that you're afraid I will go with him if he chooses you, but…"

"You've seen what I did to him."

Schuldig kissed his cheek.

"I also know everything you've been through, and all the pain you've suffered for him. If Yohji doesn't want you, then he isn't the man I thought he was."

"I've never deserved either of you."

"No. You've deserved better…but you do have me, _Veilchen_, and I'm sure as hell never going away."

The two stared at each other. Finally Schuldig grinned and kissed him quickly, messily.

"Here's hoping for some hot and kinky threesome sex tonight!"

Aya would have laughed if he hadn't been so petrified.

Schuldig opened the door for him and motioned him inside.

The dining room had been set up as if for a large dinner party. Tables set with fine china and complicated flower arrangements and delicate tablecloths filled the space, waiting.

And there in the center of the room, his back to the door and his hands shoved deep into his pockets, stood Yohji Kudoh.

The blonde turned at the sound of Aya's approaching footsteps, and Aya's heart quailed. He couldn't read the beloved man's expression.

Yohji's eyes were flat. He didn't smile, didn't approach, didn't reach for him.

Aya fell to his knees before the man he loved, bowing his head.

"_Yohji_…" he whispered, staring at the ground. "Yohji, _please_…forgive me." He closed his eyes and fought the urge to cry. Heartbroken and certain of the worst, he waited for Yohji to strike him, to yell, to walk away.

He opened his eyes at the feel of hands closing around his shoulders. Yohji was kneeling on the ground with him, eyes serious. Once he was certain that he had Aya's gaze, Yohji moved his hands from his shoulders to cup his face in his hands.

"You're so _stupid_, Aya!" the blonde told him quietly, voice breaking.

"Do you hate me?"

"We worked all this out, bunny thong…" he rasped. A thumb traced against Aya's lips, and he felt a tear slip down his cheek.

"But…"

"You apologized. You told me you loved me. I _forgave_ you."

"You were half dead…and your injuries were so horrible…Yohji, you were delusional from the pain."

"Is that what you've been telling yourself all this time?"

"Yohji…"

"Aya, I _forgave_ you."

"_Yohji…_"

"I love you. I loved you then, and I love you now. _Gods_, Aya! I've fallen for you twice! What more do I need to do?"

"But…"

"Aya, stop it."

"You can't forgive me this easily. It isn't logical. You can't keep loving me after everything I've done!"

"And why the hell not, Aya? Can't I make my own decisions on the matter?"

"But…"

Yohji heaved an irritated sigh and leaned forward, capturing Aya's lips with his own. Aya tried to pull away, but Yohji had him trapped. Stubbornly, the man deepened the kiss, refusing to allow Aya to fight him.

"Stop analyzing this!" he ordered against his mouth in an impassioned whisper. "Stop trying to tell me how to feel. Stop acting like you're the only one with all the fucking answers. Let me love you."

Yohji opened his eyes and stared at Aya from mere inches away.

"Let me love you." he repeated.

Helpless, Aya nodded.

Yohji kissed him again – deeply, passionately.

And Aya was lost.

* * *

Schuldig slowly sank into a chair at one of the tables, watching as Yohji eased Aya to the floor, fingers nimbly working on the buttons of the smaller man's shirt.

A kiss. A gasp.

Fingers trailed. A back arched.

Schuldig was caught between the very powerful urge to stay and the knowledge that he should leave. He couldn't participate in this – this was _their_ reunion, and they deserved it.

He bit his lips, greedily filling his eyes with the sight of them. He wondered how angry they would be if he stayed to watch.

The shirts were gone. Mumbling fond, teasing words, Yohji began to tug Aya's pants down over his lovely, slender hips.

With a reluctant sigh, and the knowledge that if he stayed much longer he would be in danger of jumping in himself, he rose. Out of respect for the men he loved, he quickly and quietly left the room.

* * *

They cried out mutually, finding their release in each other for the first time in far too long. Yohji let his head fall against Aya's chest and smiled at the sweet sound of the other man's wild heartbeat.

_Home._

He was home.

* * *

Schuldig looked up as the hotel room door opened, and he watched quietly as he two lovers entered the room. Yohji's arms were comfortably around Aya and there was a naughty amusement twisting his lips as he nibbled the smaller man's neck. By Aya's expression, the lovely redhead couldn't decide whether to scowl or to smile.

Yohji's grin widened as he noticed Schuldig sitting on the couch.

"So this is where you disappeared to." he greeted.

Schuldig smiled. "_Good_, Kudoh." he teased. "Did that leap of reasoning hurt?"

"You could have joined us." Aya said quietly.

"No," Schuldig shook his head. "Not for your reunion I couldn't." he rose in one fluid motion and crossed to them, smirking at them. "But," he said slowly, "I do hope you enjoyed boffing like bunnies in there, because from this point on, I'm not leaving you alone for a moment. Just a warning."

"We don't need a warning for something we're looking forward to anyway." Yohji grinned. His arms tightened around Aya, his expression making it very clear that he had very naughty things planned.

Aya looked ready to reconsider.

Schuldig quickly scanned Yohji's mind, and liked what he saw. As innocently as possibly, he motioned to Aya's suitcases with one hand, while linking the other through the small man's belt.

"I took the liberty of packing for you, _Veilchen_," he purred, "But this room _does_ have a nice, large bed. We could go home to seal this, or…well, whatever happens next is entirely up to you."

Aya glanced at the bed, then shook his head. He smiled.

"Let's go home."

* * *

To Be Concluded 


	27. Epilogue

Epilogue

* * *

The young man sat alone on a wooden bench out in the middle of a meticulously cared for garden. Flowers were everywhere, impossibly bright and blooming. The beauty of the landscape was almost unreal.

Aya hesitated, watching the other man, before at last giving a quiet sigh. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he began to walk down the cobbled path toward the man who had once been almost as dear as a brother.

"Ken's plane left yesterday, didn't it?" Omi hadn't turned around, but his voice rang out quiet and clear.

Aya stopped walking.

"Yes," he answered at last. "It did."

"Did you go and see him off?"

"Yes."

"With Yotan and…and Mastermind?"

"Yes. With Yohji and Schuldig."

Silence again. Aya continued on his way, and when he reached the bench, he sat down next to his former friend. With his hair flat and unstyled, a blanket wrapped around his legs, he suddenly appeared very frail.

"He didn't call to tell me he was leaving." Omi said at last. "I guess you all told him everything. Funny…I always thought he'd take _my_ side."

"You have eyes on him?"

"He still works for Krittiker. I'll always be able to find him."

Aya grunted.

"Did you come to kill me?"

"I thought about it," Aya answered truthfully. "But no. I'm not going to kill you. Yohji's not going to kill you, and Schuldig won't either. As long as you leave us alone."

"How reassuring."

Silence settled in once more. The wind blew and birds chirruped happily and Aya searched for words.

"Why are you here?" Omi asked finally.

Aya shook his head.

"I don't know."

"It's a beautiful garden, isn't it? Nagi had it planted for me because I'm not _allowed_ to leave the manor anymore." Omi gave a small, sad laugh. "Everyone thinks I'm still in charge, but not a single order can go through anymore without _his_ signature."

"I think he loves you."

"I know he does. He told me so himself. He said that he's trying to protect me – save my soul from these difficult decisions. He promised he wouldn't let me rip it apart anymore."

"Do you love him?"

A shrug. Omi continued to stare at the landscape.

"I really was trying to help you, Ayan."

"I know. That's what makes it so horrifying."

"Are you happy?"

Aya closed his eyes.

"Yes," he answered honestly.

"I hope it lasts."

"It will."

"How can you be so sure?"

It was Aya's turn to shrug.

"I can't explain something to you when I know you'll never understand it."

"You're so mean to me, Ayan."

"I came to say goodbye."

"You won't be visiting again?"

"We're leaving Japan. Yohji, Schuldig, and I…between the three of us, we have enough blood money to live comfortably for the rest of our lives. Just the three of us, living and loving and happy."

"It sounds nice. Where are you going?"

"I won't tell you that, Omi. But I will promise you one thing – if we ever hear from Krittiker again, I will come back here and I will try to kill you, consequences be damned."

"Cold you really?" Omi asked at last.

"You know I could. Would. Will."

Aya rose. Then, reluctantly, looked at Omi.

"Let Nagi love you, Omi," he advised. "Let yourself love him. He's a good man, and faithful. Let him heal you."

"I just wanted to help you, Ayan."

"Goodbye, Omi."

He looked so young, so sad. Blinking rapidly, Omi was the first to break their gaze.

Taking a deep breath, Aya walked away.

* * *

End

For author's notes and possible unsigned review responses, please watch my LJ within the next few days.

Thank you for everything.


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